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Your story really resonated with me, Walls, and actually convinced me to sign up here. 
Especially this bit: ” I felt trapped to make covenants that I had no idea what they would be. I felt like my agency was taken from me…”
Exactly how I felt as well.
RE the temple recommend interview. I stopped doing that a while back. I decided I had no reason or desire to go back, and the interview itself frankly felt really creepy to me. The questions they ask make it feel like it’s more about forcing you to conform to certain expectations, and that’s exacerbated by the fact that they harass you about coming in for you interview if you don’t schedule one on time. Or, at least, they tried to harass me about it. When they did that I told them in no uncertain terms I felt I was worthy before God, and didn’t need to be interviewed by anyone to prove it, and so on, and that I didn’t want to renew my recommend at this time… and they haven’t bothered me since.
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