- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
One of the points that is constantly thrown out as a principle reason for faith crisis is unmet or unrealistic expectations. We become disillusioned because our expectations are unmet. We expected JS to be more perfect than he was. We expect all church policies to have been created via revelation. We expect the book of mormon to be 100% literal, dictated from God Himself. When we learn differently our frameworks struggles. We fall into faith crisis. This is not a site for people comfortable with their faith. I would never recommend it to one who has a few minor questions. This site is for those whose shelves have completely collapsed and they don’t know how or even if they should pick up the pieces. There are other sites (LDS.net comes to mind) that are full of typical testimony wielding members who can help answer minor questions. Even sites like FAIR work okay. As a teen with minor questions these sites helped me find answers. I was able to slip back into stage 3 (of fowlers stages of faith).
But for someone wholly in stage 4 these sites (apologetic), IMO DO NOT WORK. God “speaketh unto men according to their language, unto their understanding.” StayLDS is in the form or language that some can understand. Being more “apologetic like” would not work. 2 years ago it would not have worked on me.
In a community like this, it is effective to pick and choose who you listen to and feel free to ignore those you don’t like. The real problem is that people in stage 4 are more likely to congregate here. Ideally one in crises (IMO) should move towards stage 5, since going back to 3 is practically impossible, and stage 4 is just no fun. But those in stage 5 have moved beyond the need of support. So you find less of them here. Moreover, stage 5 doesn’t necessarily mean ardent defender of the Mormon faith.
We try to create a community for a certain profile of people: those who are struggling but for some reason want to participate in the Mormon community. We try to embody Pres. Uchtdorf’s admonition:
Quote:“None of us is quite as Christlike as we know we should be. But we earnestly desire to overcome our faults and the tendency to sin. With our heart and soul we yearn to become better with the help of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
If these are your desires, then regardless of your circumstances, your personal history, or the strength of your testimony, there is room for you in this Church. Come, join with us!
We want to participate even though our circumstances, person struggles, lack of “knowledge” make it difficult, especially in current church culture.I am who I am today because stayLDS exists. I joined years ago under a pseudonym. I was lost, depressed, and alone. I didn’t know how or if I should rebuild my faith. Joining stayLDS helped me not feel alone. I found others with similar trials. I learned a ton. My faith grew. I saw others that I wanted to be like, role models if it were. So I particpated. I expressed opinion and beliefs which I no longer have. I grew to the point where I was stable and I left stayLDS to be more independent. I continued growing until I was fully comfortable with my new faith perspective, with my place in the church. Then I came back, but with my real name. Partly to give back and partly because I just love some of the people here. It is refreshing to see people who are thoughtful about their approach to faith. I feel grateful to be part of this community and am so glad it is here.
Note: I wrote this as a reply to another post which got LOCKED before I hit submit. I didn’t want to waste it so I’ll just post this here.
🙂 Good OP. I understand the frustration and perhaps shock of the post from the other thread. I have to chuckle when Ray comes off as the “liberal” and heretical…and gets called to repentance.
Yeah, I absolutely understand how some would read this site and come to that conclusion.
I suspect most of it was directed at me…which is to sad because I’m probably not the best staylds member, and the board should not be judged based solely on my cynicism and skepticism.
Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk
I recently read book called Overcoming Disappointment. It was written by a Jewish Rabbi. Though some of his ideas can be found in any book on overcoming disappointment, his choice of presentation struck me and my connection with StayLDS. Drawing on the Torah, and it’s re-telling of Moses, the Ten Commandments, and his leadership – Kushner, the author, explains that Moses got a job he didn’t want. But he took it. He would lead this people out of bondage and unto God. His first big act of leading them to God, came in the Ten Commandments. In the Torah, the story is pretty much the same as the Bible, 40 days on the mountain, the Israelite’s make a golden idol, Moses loses the tablets and poof, everything is gone.
In the Torah explanation there is a change, Moses doesn’t throw the tablets, the burden overcomes him – because he realizes how hard helping Israel is going to be, and they fall. These stones, etched by God, gone. Moses himself is bitter, sorrowful, disappointed, and his eyes now wide open.
The Torah then leaves the Biblical narrative, in the Torah, God coaxes Moses back to the mountain, where this time Moses will forge the tablets. God and Man will work side by side on the project. God had already demonstrated what could be done, now He would help, encourage Moses to craft a path.
Now the Torah and Bible sync up, as Moses brings down the second set of tablets, and Israel tries again to find God. But before this chapter in scripture is complete, the Torah adds a small part. After the first tablets crumble and break – Moses collects pieces of them and keeps them. Eventually they are added to the Arc of Covenant, along with the other plates. For Moses, it is vital the Children keep both.
When I read that, I cried, there lay the story of my faith. It was one set of rules, guidelines, etc. Then they broke, shattered. Yet I couldn’t fully part with them. They had put me on a path and I never wanted to reject the best in them. Today I am back on the mountain, reforging. In my pocket, and eventually my Arc will be both sets of tablets.
I am doing the forging many places, StayLDS was my first chisel in the rock that lay before me. We disagree, we cover a span, but we also appreciate the effort it takes. We cheer each other on. We find light in each other’s words. We offer comfort and compassion on the painful days/months/years. Because just like it was for the Children of Israel, getting to the promised land isn’t going to be easy. Wherever our promised lands are.
Quote:Cwald said- I suspect most of it was directed at me…which is to sad because I’m probably not the best staylds member, and the board should not be judged based solely on my cynicism and skepticism.
Sorry my friend – I am not giving that one to you. You are not the bad apple over here. There are enough posts from each one of us that he could point to. I refuse to make you the offender.
I admit that in the last week or so I’ve posted some things that I would have been defensive toward a decade ago. FWIW In the recent past I constantly second guessed myself. Examples:
Did I stop believing in life after death because I subconsciously wanted to eat, drink and be merry?
If I were to develop a new belief system that was centered around a more loving and forgiving god might that in some ways be interpreted as taking the attitude that I will be beat with a few stripes but ultimately saved in the last day?
Pretty much anything with respect to the warnings in 2 Nephi 28.
Then I realize I’m still here… Why?
I don’t believe my faith crisis was the result of an attempt to justify sin because I still keep the standards of the church. I mostly keep them because I made them my standards.
These days I don’t know what my attitude is toward the questions I mentioned above… and life is too short to have that weigh me down.
I guess there will always be people who disagree with what other people are doing. For me, I came to this site with a much more negative mind, and it has helped me become more reasonable and I’ve been better able to accept things without letting them bother me so much. So it probably depends on where you are at when you find this website. Hear hear! Many of us are here because we’ve heard the church’s party line and listened to the standard Sunday School answers for years, and they have not worked for us. If those answers always worked for us, we would not be here. Yet for various reasons, we want to stay connected to the LDS church. Many of us continue to have questions that we would be run out of church just for asking—yet they are important questions to us. We need a place to feel safe working through our darkest thoughts and deepest doubts without being judged or criticized ourselves. Unfortunately, that safe place is not always the church. That’s my take, anyway. You know, if you don’t spend much time here I could see how you might take away a bit of negative- maybe because it’s a safe place to vent. But what I LOVE is that people can do that (vent), and they are met here with compassion, love and understanding- and it heals! I shied away a bit at first because I didn’t want to dwell only on the negative I was feeling- but after feeling compelled to come back and read more, I have found so much here to uplift me, and actually strengthen my resolve to have faith, even when nothing feels certain. I feel like everyone here has a “desire to believe”- even if it’s not in exactly the same things. What a beautiful Zion community- and yeah, cwald- no dissing yourself- each different voice, when generally respectful (and we’re all allowed to have grouchy days)- adds something of value here. Thank you. I’m glad you saved it before the lock-down. It’s a great post and well worth reading. It also reminded me I’ve not added that quote to the quotes thread. I’ll add it now! cwald wrote:I suspect most of it was directed at me…which is to sad because I’m probably not the best staylds member, and the board should not be judged based solely on my cynicism and skepticism.
But the board should be judged by our ability to welcome and respectfully consider a range of perspectives, yours included. You are one of the people that I look forward to reading on threads. You offer a great perspective to the range of conversations.
Eric Merrill wrote:I am who I am today because stayLDS exists.
I joined years ago under a pseudonym.I was lost, depressed, and alone. I didn’t know how or if I should rebuild my faith. Joining stayLDS helped me not feel alone. I found others with similar trials. I learned a ton. My faith grew. I saw others that I wanted to be like, role models if it were. So I particpated. I expressed opinion and beliefs which I no longer have. I grew to the point where I was stable and I left stayLDS to be more independent. I continued growing until I was fully comfortable with my new faith perspective, with my place in the church. Then I came back, but with my real name.Partly to give back and partly because I just love some of the people here. It is refreshing to see people who are thoughtful about their approach to faith. I feel grateful to be part of this community and am so glad it is here.
Thanks for the post. It’s been interesting for me to keep examining why I don’t use my real name. I like to imagine scenarios where anonymity would no longer be important to me, but for now I need an alias to be honest. I appreciate everyone here, “real” names or not, who help me along the way.
Thanks for posting this, I’m glad you didn’t let it go to waste. I feel the same way and could have written this myself, although I think you did it better than I could have. I likely would no longer be a member of the church if not for this site, and I may well have missed Pres. Uchtdorf’s talk which has given all of us equal hope. This is indeed the place for me, but it’s not everyone’s place.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.