A post to share the ways your character is improving

[Anonymous]

Inspired by Mike’s thread on spiritual experiences, I thought I would suggest a thread where you describe the ways your character is growing. I feel this is part of what it means to be a Christian — trying to be better, but without unhealthy self-loathing about one’s weaknesses.

I will start. Although my character-development has been uneven in the last couple years, I have definitely grown in my compassion for people who are outside the norm in our religion. At one time, I was very judgmental about people who would not accept callings, or would not serve faithfully. I’m not like that now. I honestly feel compassion and acceptance for them, as well as an understanding that everyone has varying levels of testimony, commitment and even stamina to give in the Church.

I also have developed quite a bit in my self-awareness. I realize now that I had many beliefs about what a person should and should not do in the Church that were held by me unconsciously — spawned by the overall culture. From talks in Church, lessons, systems, leader expectations etcetera, I had bought unconciously into certain cultural beliefs which we hold as a religion, without even recognizing their source or even their existence in some cases. I am more self-aware now.

I believe that when I do embrace these cultural values, or if I reject them, I will do so with full awareness that I am assimilating cultural values, and when/if I reassimilate them, I will do so with solid reasons.

How about you — in what ways has your character improved in the last year or so?

[By the way, my wife shared Concern for the One in her Ward Council meeting today, at my suggestion. She believes it.]

[Anonymous]

Rather than provide details here right now, I will point everyone to my New Year’s Resolution posts over the past four years. If you go to my personal blog (http://thingsofmysoul.blogspot.com) and click on the “Resolutions” label, you can read 153 posts that deal with my attempts to improve my character in a systematic, planned way.

I wish I had started this type of focus when I was MUCH younger, as I have seen (or, at least, recognized) more real growth in the past four years than probably the 20 years before that. I don’t think everyone needs to do it in the same way that works for me, but I do think everyone really should find a way to pursue character development that works for them.

[Anonymous]

I have never been one to care too much about fitting in at church – I can only be myself. But one change is that as I get older, I don’t have to be “in your face” about not fitting in either. I don’t care if people assume I’m just like everyone else or if they know I am not. Those that want to take the time to get to know me will see that, but those that don’t, I don’t need to point it out.

[Anonymous]

good philosophy HawkGrrrl. not needing to be in ones face about being different. it would definitely work for me.

How have I improved ?

age 30 ***************************************** age 43:

was “in your face” **************************** i just try to blend in

at times confrontational ******************** i just try to keep the peace

at times sought revenge ******************** i just let things go. if someone is a jerk then just ignore them.

at times judgemental *********************** a lot more compassionate about people’s faults

I find i become more mellow with age.

[Anonymous]

SilentDawning wrote:

…I have definitely grown in my compassion for people who are outside the norm in our religion. At one time, I was very judgmental about people who would not accept callings, or would not serve faithfully. I’m not like that now. I honestly feel compassion and acceptance for them, as well as an understanding that everyone has varying levels of testimony, commitment and even stamina to give in the Church.

I also have developed quite a bit in my self-awareness. I realize now that I had many beliefs about what a person should and should not do in the Church that were held by me unconsciously — spawned by the overall culture. From talks in Church, lessons, systems, leader expectations etcetera, I had bought unconciously into certain cultural beliefs which we hold as a religion, without even recognizing their source or even their existence in some cases. I am more self-aware now…

I feel similarly, SilentDawning.

I am much more open to other religious beliefs, yet I am not shy about explaining what I feel passionately about.

I’ve realized that nobody’s perfect… and we are all in it for selfish reasons… good selfishness or bad selfishness.

So, I realize when I’m too quick to condemn others, it’s often because I’ve either struggled with the same thing, or I fear it.

I’ve become much more aware of my psychology (thoughts, feelings & behavior) & hints of others’ psychology too.

I’m in the process of finding a balance. I love forums! For a while, I felt addicted, so I’ve had to learn self-discipline… to take care of other responsibilities & enjoy other social interactions.

I’ve learned that feeling loved really opens up one’s heart & soul… & I’m grateful for the love I’ve felt & have a greater desire to help others’ feel loved in a meaningful way to them.

I’m more honest… I used to try to make others’ feel good, & I still do to an extent, but I value truth more now.

I’ve developed & maintained boundaries… which was (& sometimes still is) a challenge.

I take more responsibility for my spiritual, mental & physical well-being.

[Author]

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