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LDS_Scoutmaster wrote:
Do I question at times whether God is there? Unequivocally yes – I would be lying if I said otherwise. Does this mean that I have no faith? Absolutely not – faith is hope in things we cannot see. I rely on my spiritual feelings to tell me what lies just beyond my eyes.
Did you really say this in SM? I like how you rebounded. Still, it seems gutsy to say that you sometimes doubt God’s existence.
Roy wrote:
LDS_Scoutmaster wrote:
Do I question at times whether God is there? Unequivocally yes – I would be lying if I said otherwise. Does this mean that I have no faith? Absolutely not – faith is hope in things we cannot see. I rely on my spiritual feelings to tell me what lies just beyond my eyes.
Did you really say this in SM? I like how you rebounded. Still, it seems gutsy to say that you sometimes doubt God’s existence.
I have said something very much along those lines in SM and stake conference. When expressed
authenticallyit can be very powerful. (Emphasis added for those who worry about being authentic.) Today I gave a lesson in RS based off of President Uchtdorf’s April 2017 GC talk, “Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear.” I started off the lesson by discussing how fear is often used as a motivator, even in subtle ways. With increasingly more of our lives being moved onto social media, we come across advertisements that seem just like our friends’ posts, but that they’re trying to move product. I also iterated, from one of my favorite authors Mark Manson, that continually chasing positive experiences is itself a negative experience because chasing the positive often simply reinforces the fact that we don’t already have it.
Next I moved on to FOMO – fear of missing out. I detailed another story from the above author about how, for years, he felt compelled to impulsively travel to a lot of places that he saw on Instagram that looked cool. Despite the fact that a lot of the places he went to were let downs, it fueled him even more, convincing him that he just wasn’t looking at the right pictures or the right beaches or the right hotel yada yada yada. I mentioned that the most defining factor in determining if we’re living according to FOMO is if we’re more afraid of what we might potentially lose if we miss out on owning something or having an experience (a loss that’s purely imagined because we don’t have the thing in the first place), instead of being motivated by what we could gain from the experience.
I also linked being motivated by fear with perfectionism, and how the faulty belief system of perfectionism stymies any real progress. The RS president remarked that she noticed, in her own life, that perfectionism often stops you from beginning because you think that accomplishing anything that isn’t perfect is a waste of time. I touched on Brene Brown’s definition of perfectionism which links the fear of being rejected to the pursuit of appearing perfectly.
We closed the lesson with the notion that choosing to be continually motivated by fear causes us to pretend that we’re already perfect people, and how it frustrates any need for an Atonement. That the need for an atonement wasn’t some haphazard backup plan that we can use if we think mean things about people, but that a need for it was recognized from the beginning and was built into the system (regardless of literal vs figurative).
It was a great lesson.
Today, I taught the Law of Chastity in Gospel Principles. I took things in a different direction than the manual because I wanted to focus on other aspects. The manual focuses a lot on the unhelpful parts (i.e. it’s bad, it’s really bad, don’t break it or else) of the orthodox way of teaching it, IMO. I started off by saying that sex is a beautiful thing and that we should not be afraid to talk about it. I quoted Hermione Granger, “fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself” and that sex is nothing to be afraid of. I encouraged class members to use actual terminology where necessary. Throughout the lesson, there was one instance each of both “penis” and “vagina” as well as several for “masturbation” and “porn”, so I guess I was successful in removing the prudishness. One class member actually repeatedly said “sex” at the beginning, which was a little humorous. I just said, “get it out of your system; this is a perfectly appropriate time and place to discuss this” or something to that effect.
I only spent about 15 minutes on the how and the what. I only brushed over the idea that it is a serious sin and needs to be properly repented of with the help of the bishop. I then focused on how to teach children about the LoC, resulting in a great discussion. The first comment made a point about being open and the discussion from there was fantastic.
Then I focused the rest of the block on how to support others who have struggles with the LoC. I began with the woman taken in adultery, which sparked some more great discussion and took up a lot more time than I planned. I wanted to spend time on discussing how to handle a few hypothetical scenarios, but I mostly had to leave them as questions to ponder.
Homosexuality didn’t come up at all; though one hypothetical scenario was that a son or daughter comes out as gay. There wasn’t time to discuss it. Considering that I don’t believe sexual orientation is a central aspect of the Law of Chastity, I don’t think that was a bad thing at all. Considering it’s a singles ward, this comes as no surprise that I did not have to worry about homophobia derailing the lesson. (I would not be surprised if it happened in some wards)
The Elders thanked me for the lesson. Others seem to be satisfied. The girl I think is really attractive came in late on the word “masturbation” and I just casually told her I was teaching the Law of Chastity, to which she responded “Oh. That’s my favorite lesson!” This would be a lot more awesome if she didn’t turn me down when I told her I wanted to take her on a date on Monday. (BTW: It wasn’t a strict no; it was more of a timing thing, but I’m taking it as a no and I do not plan on revisiting it until at least February or so.)
That is the type of LofC lesson I like. We need more of them. Roy wrote:
LDS_Scoutmaster wrote:
Do I question at times whether God is there? Unequivocally yes – I would be lying if I said otherwise. Does this mean that I have no faith? Absolutely not – faith is hope in things we cannot see. I rely on my spiritual feelings to tell me what lies just beyond my eyes.
Did you really say this in SM? I like how you rebounded. Still, it seems gutsy to say that you sometimes doubt God’s existence.
Yes i did. I know that there are people that feel the same way that i do and i had to be honest. To doubt the existence of God doesn’t seem like a deal breaker to me. It didn’t to the bishop either apparently. I knew that there were a few lines in my talk that i was comfortable saying, but some wouldn’t feel comfortable hearing, and others would be glad that they heard it from the pulpit.
The only thing the bishop said to me afterwards was that i was stronger than i knew, i didn’t ask for a definition, hopefully it was a compliment
DancingCarrot wrote:
perfectionism often stops you from beginning because you think that accomplishing anything that isn’t perfect is a waste of time.
Brilliant
Beefster, I’ve always been a fan of more open talk, and it sounded like you handled the lesson very well.
LDS_Scoutmaster wrote:
I know that there are people that feel the same way that i do and i had to be honest. To doubt the existence of God doesn’t seem like a deal breaker to me. It didn’t to the bishop either apparently.
I get the same feeling. I think people at church are a little more used to hearing this from their own family members, and it is more common to be expressing it in a non-hateful or attacking way…simply that some things are a mystery…yet we try to have faith and keep working on it.
I’m not sure how that impacts their opinions of those who express it honestly, and callings are reconsidered or cautioned based on this…I don’t know that for sure…but…I do hear this kind of talk in church more frequently and it is less shocking, I think.
Heber13 wrote:
I’m not sure how that impacts their opinions of those who express it honestly, and callings are reconsidered or cautioned based on this…I don’t know that for sure…but…I do hear this kind of talk in church more frequently and it is less shocking, I think.
I may be released lol. Just kidding, i am in a newer leadership calling, and I’m not worried about it. There may be members of the ward who think now that i shouldn’t be in the calling that I’m in, but i am sure also that there are members out there who now know that i am a safe place to share whatever is on their minds.I think it *really* depends on the bishop. If this was our last bishop, I’m sure there would have been repercussions. Fortunately our bishop is very level headed and understanding.
My wife and i were talking this morning as she gave a lesson recently sharing her opinion that we can’t achieve perfection in this life, but the fact that we continue to work towards it is the key. One of the sisters retorted that we can obtain it. We both agreed that pushing the perfection model can and is damaging to a lot of people, especially when we realize that we don’t measure up in some area of our life.
LDS_Scoutmaster wrote:
I think it *really* depends on the bishop.
I think so too.
LDS_Scoutmaster wrote:
we can’t achieve perfection in this life, but the fact that we continue to work towards it is the key.
Well said. Very cool.
LDS_Scoutmaster wrote:
My wife and i were talking this morning as she gave a lesson recently sharing her opinion that we can’t achieve perfection in this life, but the fact that we continue to work towards it is the key. One of the sisters retorted that we can obtain it. We both agreed that pushing the perfection model can and is damaging to a lot of people, especially when we realize that we don’t measure up in some area of our life.
I actually just looked the suffix -tion, and it was just as I expected:
Quote:the action of a verb; the result of a verb
Taken in this grammatical context, and if we take the definition of perfect as being whole and complete (as opposed to without flaw) then striving towards perfection is a state of being where we are acting out our wholesomeness, our completeness – as we understand it at any given time. Granted, I understand this isn’t how it’s taught in our society and it’s certainly not a hill I’m willing to even climb, let alone try to die on, but I like the perspective shift.
DancingCarrot wrote:… the definition of perfect as being whole and complete (as opposed to without flaw) then striving towards perfection is a state of being where we are acting out our wholesomeness, our completeness – as we understand it at any given time.
Well put!
Wow – Scout Master, Dancing Carrot and Beefster – These are beautiful. I haven’t read through this in a while. I do believe edges are melting and gentle assistance in that area is where talks, lessons, and class comments can help. Each one was thoughtful, caring and lovingly presented.
Perfect devotionals for my day.
Thanks,
Carrie
I got to teach in RS again! It ended up being great for the class and for me, since I am working/out of town for the next two Sundays. I really enjoy teaching so I was bummed I would miss a month. At first I was nervous taking on the topic of “The Latter-Day Miracle of Missionary Work”, but it turned out really well. I began with describing my small level of ambivalence towards traditional missionary work: my dad joined the church at age 19 but didn’t serve a mission, my brother stopped attending church regularly somewhere in junior high-high school, the church has always been “central” in our family but we’ve also missed a lot of “milestones”. So that set the stage well for introducing some differing perspectives.
I explained the idea between the church as an organization and the gospel as a set of principles/doctrines, and I even used Curt’s tag line of the core principles of the gospel being love, belief in the unseen but hoped, self-reflective change, symbolic cleansing, power in divinity, never giving up. That these are principles that most people believe in, despite their religious affiliation. There was a lot of discussion about meeting other people where they are, whether that be needing the organization of the church, the social structure of the church, or the doctrines/meaning of the church, and how in order to legitimately help people we need to understand them on some level, otherwise we’re just talking about our religion because it makes us feel good.
I moved onto the 11th AoF and asked how are we to reconcile letting ourselves and others worship according to the dictates of our consciences while attempting to fulfill missionary work. This sparked a great discussion about talking about religion at work because one woman found her co-workers to be very walled off from organized religion, but that she hoped someone would feel comfortable coming to her during a difficult time because they’ve seen her example of peace and endurance. That prompted me to share my opposite experience at my workplace, where the phrase “melting pot” is an understatement. There was a particular lunch break that some colleagues were talking about traditional/cultural foods and how meaningful it was to them that despite their cultural backgrounds from slavery, that their ancestors were able to endure and create delicious meals to share with their families that brought joy and comfort despite their terrible conditions. I also mentioned that despite me being the only white person on the unit, that they included me in the conversation and explained their thoughts with great emphasis and care. I told them that that moment felt like heaven.
There was also conversation about how our needs and relationship to both the church and gospel fluctuate over time. How sometimes we need more structure and social/community life instead of spirituality from church. And how other times we desperately need the meaning that comes from spirituality instead of programs and friends. It was emphasized from many women that sometimes we take and sometimes we give; that coming to church helps in different ways both for us and others, and that it’s important to come because sometimes we don’t attend church for ourselves. I also related a story about a pending heart transplant patient that I worked with last year and the guilt he felt for needing and “taking” another person’s heart. I tried to comfort him and also iterate that for the family of the deceased who is able to give the gift of a heart, it helps them with closure and their grieving to know that their loved one helped someone else. We all give, and we all take.
We discussed a little bit about “holy envy” and how other churches have many practices or focuses of doctrine that we love. The Passover was mentioned specifically, and one of the women explained “Well, if you love Passover so much why don’t you celebrate it?!” We also, later via text, tentatively planned to have a RS activity for Passover at a Jewish synagogue, if enough women are interested.
I closed by saying that despite anyone’s church membership status in this life, there are always opportunities afforded to everyone in the Plan of Salvation. That we needn’t fear as to anyone’s membership because there are so many opportunities for them to join (if that’s really how it works out), and that we can be missionaries unto ourselves, ensuring that we get our needs met through church and other means and to connect with others around our similarities.
It was an excellent lesson, and I’m happy to have had the opportunity.
Thank you Dancing Carrot. I didn’t get to attend today. Relief Society is something I miss.
I love your lesson. Even this overview gave me things to think about. I am not missionary oriented. I love learning about other religions.
I hope you do get to participate in a Passover this year.
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