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Old-Timer wrote:
I called and scheduled an interview, talked with the man, explained my experience and asked him what he thought. (I don’t believe in asking for a commitment until the person basically has indicated they will accept it if asked formally.) He told me he had been inactive for quite a while but that he had felt recently that he needed to start attending again. He said he had procrastinated doing so, out of habit – and then I called him. He said he couldn’t accept that particular calling at that time, but he thanked me for showing him that the Lord was aware of him and confirming that he was supposed to get his life in order to be able to accept such a calling in the future.
Thanks for sharing this.
Hope your conversation goes well, Dark Jedi.
I debated a bit about whether to post this or not, but decided I do have enough anonymity to do so. I have been extended the call to serve on the high council and I have accepted. I have not yet been sustained, that should happen this coming Sunday. (I told the SP he should consider installing seat belts in the pews for those that might fall out during the business portion of the meeting. 🙂 )The SP and I did have a discussion about how returning after being away for so long is not going to be easy – it’s not just a matter of dressing and walking in the door (“It’s not that simple”), and he understood. We discussed ways to make the transition easier, and frankly didn’t come up with a lot. We did discuss how friends might be helpful in laying some groundwork with others, and that the bishop might also be able to do some of that. I agreed, and since part of my return plan always included meeting with the bishop prior to returning, I set up an appointment with the bishop. We met for about a half hour, and and this discussion was almost as interesting as those I had with the SP – but differently. As you may know, I like the bishop as a person, he’s a nice guy, and a bit of a geek. I don’t believe he’s the greatest bishop I’ve ever had, though (putting it very nicely). He spent some time in our interview offering s variety of excuses for why he hasn’t reached out, etc., and he talked about the other calling that was extended a few weeks ago (which I flatly refused). While the counselor who came to visit me never said so, the bishop did say they had prayed about that calling and “felt good” about it. He also said they discuss my family all the time. I have such mixed feelings about the interview – part of me realizes I may have misjudged him to an extent (although not totally), and part of me realizes he is attempting to repent (I’m good with that, I forgave him long ago), and part of me realizes he’s just trying to do his best like the rest of us. There was an admission that the former stake president had told him to back off (I’m not sure exactly what he was supposed to back off from but I got the feeling the SP was protecting me) and that he did feel somewhat restricted. We did agree, however, that I still don’t want to be anybody’s project or have any assigned friends or be part of a program, and that he shouldn’t expect to see me at more than SM for the short term at least (he is obviously aware of my new calling). Ward conference is coming up, and I’m wondering if the bishopric might not be reorganized – his counselor was called to be a counselor in the new stake presidency in mid-March and the position is still vacant.
So, I’m starting on a new part of my journey – wish me luck, I’m going to need it!
Very interesting. I think having people like you in callings like this can make a real difference. Provided you don’t get shut down by the same type of people church0333 did. hawkgrrrl wrote:Very interesting. I think having people like you in callings like this can make a real difference. Provided you don’t get shut down by the same type of people church0333 did.
I do worry about that. I did discuss with the SP that I probably have a very unique perspective compared to the rest of the HC regarding those who question and those who might find themselves facing a crisis of faith, and he wholeheartedly agreed and said that I would likely encounter such people. I was trying to subtly say I could be of use in that regard and I’m sensing a great deal of support from his end, even though I still have some trepidation.
DJ, i am both happy and scared for you. Nevertheless, good luck. I am having some of your issues on a much smaller scale. I am a ward missionary. Almost every week, they talk about baptizing and hastening the work. Every time I speak up and remind them that the Bishop called us and just asked us to just be friends with people. I like the people(inactives and non lds) I met recently. I want to have them as friends. It feels as though the others see them as fresh meat. I am honestly afraid I am going to be released because I see it differently.
So, anyway, best wishes. I hope you can make some people feel more comfotable.
I guess I’m still too scarred from my last experiences with hefty callings. Working in the community, I have been putting in more time than I did as an HPGL or BP counselor, and last week, I started experiencing burn-out. I serve for a specific term, and its up in August. It’s comforting to know that all I have to do is write a letter indicating I’m not pursuing a second term, and leave it at that. Walk away without any pejorative judgments from people, and then decide what other capacity I might serve within, in that organization. I’m not sure I want to write that letter, as I enjoy the work, but I’ve gotten myself in over my head due to to my tendency to over-achieve. The freedom of knowing I don’t have to plead and beg to be “released” and then wait for the people in authority to grant my my request on their own sweet time is liberating — to the point I think I will probably stay with the position beyond the term.
So, whenever someone comes at me with a calling in the church, I see a life sentence ahead of me, with a ton of judgmentalism and perhaps even ostracization if I want to be released before the BP or SP is ready to let me out of it.
No more. In the future, I will take assignments, not callings, for precisely this reason.
This may not figure into your own decision making, but I thought of it when I read your OP a while ago. There are so many ways to serve humanity it seems. The church does not have corner on service, and in my view, they manage their volunteers very badly in many cases.
I appreciate the sentiment, SD, and I do perform service outside church to my satisfaction. An interesting thing the SP said in the second interview when we were talking about responsibilities. He didn’t say what particular areas this particular position is responsible for, and they may well be doing some shuffling. He did say that the calling can be as little or as much as I wanted it to be. Interesting. Right now, I’m good with the two meetings a month (some are done by conference call). But I can see that of it’s over SS or something, there could be very little effort put in – what does the stake SS presidency do anyway, and especially that they might need advisement for? He’s aware I’m not in with both feet yet. I have found the Stake SS presidency doesn’t do very much at all. I would read the manual and see what it suggests. One of my first tasks would be to meet with the Ward SS presidents and come up with a profile of the extent to which each Ward SS is functioning. This will highlight certain needs that can be used for training. I did this when I was Stake YM President. I also came up with a kind of maturity model that describe the phases of development a Ward SS program goes through, and had each Bishop rate their program against that model. Same with the Ward YM presidents. For example, a basic program had a partial presidency, no quorum presidents, no weekly activities. A second level program had some counselors in addition to the president, regular sunday meetings and at least a couple activities a month and quorum presidents. the next phase had Bishopric involvement and actual leaders of the quorums by the boys who drove the planning of activities.
I encouraged each program to move themselves to the next level and monitored results.
That kind of thing. At Ward conferences you can share with the presidents your maturity model of the program, and be there as a resource to help them move to the next level.
the hard part of Stake auxiliary leadership as its really the Bishops that have all the power and your role is one of training. At some point, the BP and Ward SS decides not do do anything further and sits at a lower level of maturity and never moves off it. That is what happened to me when I was Stake YM President, So then, I switched to putting on good Stake Activities that modeled the activities they should be doing at the Ward level — youth planned and driven, served a priesthood purpose, etcetera.
I think that was the SP’s point in that the calling to the HC could be as little or as much as I want. He was obviously trying to make me comfortable with the idea as part of the discussion was about how I wasn’t necessarily comfortable just jumping back in after being away for over 10 years. He had already testified that he thought the calling was inspired. So I think he was trying to not do the guilt thing but make me comfortable with the idea that this was probably the right thing for me at this time. I’m not really sure, but I am willing to try. The only high councilor that is also an auxiliary president in our stake is the YMP. I don’t think they’re looking to change that person (he’s in my ward). YMP/YWP are probably the busiest of the stake auxiliaries because they have stake activities to do several times per year. Otherwise, the auxiliaries seem to do very little at the stake level. So if my responsibility ends up being over primary or SS or whatever, I could take a more active role in meeting with the presidency (which according to the handbooks seem to be only once or twice a year) and helping with training or I could just chill. He did say I would be in the speaking rotation (there are fewer units than high councilors so we don’t speak monthly) and he said some are assigned as unit advisers (in that same part talking about auxiliaries). The SP seemed to be indicating to me that’s it’s OK if I chill but I could be more active if I wanted. He seems like a good man trying to follow what he really believes to have been inspiration. It is your call, but that would be enough for me.
Also, I think you would be an excellent HC – and it will help teach you better how to express an extra view in a supportive and affirming way.
In actuality that is enough for me, Ray. Whether or not I actually believe he was inspired (and I believe he may have been), hebelieves he was inspired and I do believe he is trying to do the right thing and perhaps right some wrongs of prior leaders. I don’t believe all local leaders are uninspired and I have known some who I think are quite inspired. This man appears to be headed for the very inspired list. Keep in mind I had never met this guy before, and most of the time he has resided in the stake I have been inactive – there is no reason for him to have been aware of me or have any concern about my well being whatsoever. And thanks for the vote of confidence. I hope that I can learn to express some ideas from a different perspective without offending. I actually worry more about what others might say as opposed to what I have to say. I have already set some goals for myself and hope to see them to fruition. I expect I will ask for advice here from time to time.
DarkJedi- How is your service on the HC going? I am new here, but have been fascinated with this thread. I admire your willingness to serve and serve true to yourself when there are many factors that could have kept you from doing so. I am impressed that the SP followed inspiration to call someone that didn’t fit the mold that you generally see. (In their ward usually, have grown up with them, or already have their “trust” due to other factors). Do you have an update on the service you’ve rendered, or asked to do, or speaking assignments you’ve performed? I hope I’m not prying, I am just genuinely impressed with the things that have been laid out in the topic.
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