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Hi everyone, I was BIC and raised TBM, but from a very young age I was given church history info (in the form of anti-Mormon lit) from well-meaning friends. I grew up in a very anti-Mormon Michigan town. Everytime I read these things I struggled with my testimony, but decided to just decide to believe and put my questions on a shelf for later.
Well, after doing that for more than 15 years, my shelf broke. I recently realized I don’t really have a testimony of the truth claims the church makes, or that JS was a prophet or in the BOM. I see a lot of good and A lot of Christ’s teachings in the church, but I a not convinced it is the one and only. I also see a lot of craziness in church culture. (Which could be an entire rant.)
This realization didn’t shock me. I’ve spent years fighting for a testimony and worrying about losing it, so in a way I’ve already mourned the loss of the TBM life I had planned on.
In addition, my husband became NOM, so to speak, about ten years ago. When we finally talked about it two years ago, I was crushed. But since then I have realized what a wonderful blessing it is because he totally gets where I am coming from now.
We’ve considered leaving, but our families are so TBM that would be a shock, to say the least. Plus we have children, and want to raise them with a religion, and the LDS church’s teachings about Christ and clean living jive with our beliefs. So for now we are going to stay and take what we can and give what we can and hopefully make way for a more understanding church culture in the future.
Hi, ogie – Glad you found this site. It’s nice that you’re at peace with yourself and your husband. I’d also describe this site as peaceful. Welcome to the site. I think you will find the acceptance and understanding you need. There are many here who share your questions and doubts. Given the info in your OP, I’d ask you if your weren’t LDS, what would you be? That’s really what it comes down to for some of us. While the church may not be all its cracked up to be, I’m not sure there’s something better out there. Welcome, From what you described this might be a good fit for you. I have been thinking about doubts and what I feel bout the church is not so much about doubts so much any more. My feelings have moved beyond doubt but I can not claim to know either. It has become acceptance, as your post suggest. It helps with the anger and hurt and it makes it a little easier to look at others and just accept them and where they are at. I hope that we hear more from you. Welcome. Quote:it makes it a little easier to look at others and just accept them and where they are at.
Part of what I gain from a forum like this is watching the growth and change in people as time passes – and the perspective it provides on our responsibility to be there for people who need someone with whom to mourn and who need comfort in order to experience that growth and change.
ogie5263 wrote:Plus we have children, and want to raise them with a religion, and the LDS church’s teachings about Christ and clean living jive with our beliefs. So for now we are going to stay and take what we can and give what we can and hopefully make way for a more understanding church culture in the future.
Welcome,
This is a safe place to figure out how to navigate the give and take in a culture that seems to want you to be all in or all out. I look forward to hearing your thoughts in the forums.
Roy
Welcome! Your feelings seem very similar to mine. This site is a great place to work through it all. Hope you find the support and peace you’re seeking. Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone. I look forward to learning more from everyone here. Welcome! Glad you’re here. I look forward to learning from your posts as you work through things. i think there is a way to be honest with yourself, and navigate things with family and friends. There are some things you can learn that make it a little easier too. Especially if you keep positive things in your life and be very happy and really loving and service oriented towards others, then it is hard for others to worry too much about someone engaged in good things. Family gets more worried when they see anger, negativity, and self-absorbed behaviors, I think. When I first started posting here, I was told to make changes slowly, and as you shed some things about church belief, choose the better part of other good things, even things you find in the world. Always trade up.
If you don’t want family to worry about you, don’t give them much to worry about.
Welcome. I “stay” because my extended family is entirely TBM.
It’s a good and valid reason to stay.
I would recommend reading The God Who Weeps. You may find some really uplifting ideals from the LDS church that make it even easier to capitalize on the good that exists given your more gray view of things now.
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