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I feel how lenient a leader is, is more of a personal thing than what the handbook says. I once had a Stake President that was a very harsh man. I repented of serious sins, and did my best to tell him everything. A few years pass, I am living my life, and am feeling guilty about an event in college that I had forgotten to tell the SP about. I tell my then-current leader about the event, which happened before all of my other sins that I had repented of in the past with the SP. I had not done anything after that repentance to question my temple recommend status. My then-current leader took away my temple recommend for 6 months, but I was still able to take the sacrament. What did this teach me? Don’t confess sins of the past that aren’t up to a certain level. I figure if I am not committing adultery or murdering people, I probably don’t need to tell some guy that could be having a power trip, or is looking to exercise his delegated power in a way that would hurt the situation more than help.
Welcome to the site. I have to echo everyone’s sentiment and add that it takes a huge amount of forgiveness and work to overcome what you guys have been through as a couple. I agree with anarcy21 as a side note, I’ve told my children what’s in the past is passed. Guilt can be a great motivation to improve, but don’t let your past determine your future. The beautiful thing about the atonement to me is that it washes away it all, except sometimes the consequences that we have to live with physically by our choices. Even those, Heavenly Father can turn into blessings if we allow it.
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