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Crises can end; transitioning, hopefully, never does. I really do love the concept of eternal progression, since it means that nearly never-ending transitioning is built into our actual theology. Within that theology, we transition from stage to stage (at least 5-6 distinct stages) and within each stage for time and all eternity. Those who don’t see and accept that are, in practical terms, not embracing Mormon theology for the much easier Protestant theology of never-ending sameness.
Crisis at age 38. Still transitioning, though, and I still have “reflexes” to go back to the old days of literalism and strict interpretations of commandments. My faith crisis began in my late 40’s. I am still working through it. First was a commitment crisis that occurred when I was 21 — a year after joining the church given the behavior of a stake president. What kept me going was that a lot of people (good people) disagreed with his decision (NOT related to sin, by the way). At that point I stopped viewing the institutional church and God as joined at the hip. It was the first crack in the armor. Second was a commitment crisis that occurred when I was 31 or so — after a church agency acted in ways I felt were in stark “violation” of principles we are taught at church,and hold dear. It confirmed my perceptions of church egocentrism I had experienced from the Stake President previously.
Third was also a commitment crises that occurred in my late 40’s, again as a result of leadership behavior I found unChristlike and egocentric for the church. Again, confirmed the last two leadership experiences.
This led to an eventual
faithcrisis where I question a lot about the church now, but resolve to say connected and on the books, maybe even as a TR holder some day again. Part of me is pleased I no longer believe parts of it are true, as it releases me from a lot of drudgery that brought me little joy. And joy is the object and design of our existence… LookingHard wrote:I definitely feel that my faith CRISIS is over, but not the faith transition. I think that is going to take years or as mom says, the rest of my life. I don’t think you can stay at the level of emotional turmoil I was at in my FC. You either have to leave or find some way to resolve it at least a bit.
But like Bill Reel mentioned the other day on Mormon discussion podcast about having a hard day now and then. I am not in a crisis, but I certainly am having a hard time the last little bit, but work and life are so busy right now I can’t do much to even study it out. Just have to keep my head above water until the Christmas break comes along.
And I am glad (or am I?) that I am not the only old fart that had my FC late in life.
This is pretty much my state as well – I am not in crisis, although I do have doubts and questions and I do have good days and bad days. My faith is still transitioning and evolving and I don’t see an end to that. As Ray points out, maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be.
Late 30’s. I’ve also wondered if there’s a relationship between age and faith crisis and while I see many people similar to me it appears to happen for different people at different stages of life. At first I wondered if I was just having a midlife crisis. I don’t think so.
I’m also interested if there’s a more definite relationship between events and culture surrounding an individual instead of merely age.
For example, I would assume that there have been many more faith crisis’ this past year. Would those be related to a person’s age or would it be more likely related to the lds.org essays or the Kate Kelly/John Dehlin dust up. I”m guessing that the faith crisis is no respecter of age.
Steve-o wrote:I’m also interested if there’s a more definite relationship between events and culture surrounding an individual instead of merely age.
I’m sure there is. Issues with history are often cited and the internet has a lot to do with exposing people to those issues. The internet also connects us socially. People are now more aware about family and friends that are having a FC. Having family and friends that are having a FC may expose others to issues that they may have not otherwise been exposed to or it might only tell someone, “Hey, you’re not alone. It’s okay to be feeling this way” and that realization makes it easier for people to entertain new perspectives.
In answering the question, at what age.
Mine was certainly brought about by an event that could have happened at any age but was much more likely to occur as my parents aged. Things started going on the shelf in my mid 20s but I always sought answers entirely within the context of my faith. Some answers would eventually come, other answers never came. Shelving lasted about 10 years, some events occurred in my extended family that challenged my concepts of wisdom, justice, and mercy, and I let my shelf fall.
After my shelf fell the questions intensified. A good thing too, in retrospect the questions and the investigations were a welcome distraction despite the cognitive dissonance they created.
Jeez, why can’t I ever give a simple, quick answer? The true crisis? Mid 30s.
I have always struggled with the church, and even more so after my mission but I think the true crisis came in my late 20’s. My faith crisis started somewhere in my early thirties. It was caused after reading about many of the sticky issues of church history online and from the book One Nation Under Gods. Interesting additional question steve-o. I think all growing up I was always one to second guess things and want to know how things worked. That led me to see some “faith promoting” stories with a skeptical eye (did God really do that, or did this known scientific fact cause that??). I also am not that hip on the level of deference to authority within the church as well as just how guided all decisions were (or were not).
I think I was both bored with church (another lesson on XYZ just wasn’t keeping me interested at all after decades) and then when I saw a link to a Mormon Stories podcast on LDS marriage issues I listened to it. I saw many things that I felt were “anti” and wouldn’t even think of downloading. But over time I would listen to some of the more “tame” ones and then now I can listen to any of them (some I just am not all that interested in).
I don’t think before I started listening to Mormon stories that my shelf of questions was growing week, it was more along the lines of I was bothered why things were not coming off the shelf. I was tired of them sitting up there. The other big part was that after decades of doing all that I knew how and reading everything I could about how to improved my troubled marriage, I felt I was getting nowhere. Decades of my most fervent prayers were not changing a thing.
So I think I had about 20% intellectual issues and about 80% emotional (spiritual?) frustration with lack of answers to prayer and that is what triggered mine.
Mid 30’s. I’m in my early 50’s now. My FC happened in a matter of minutes. Before that, I was as TBM as they come. I was searchng for info to teach a lesson (early days of the internet, BTW) and came across info on the temple and masons. It was a true crisis to the point that I called DH and asked him to come home from work. Within an hour of this happening, I no longer believed there was a god. I was physically ill.
I made a committment to DH (who was awesome about the whole thing BTW, maybe because he was an adult convert) to keep going for the sake of the kids. After a few years, I was able to successfully (I thought) repress my doubts and act like a “normal” member again. I didn’t know there was such a thing as a FC.
Then, about 2 years ago, something happened with a member of the SP which set the whole thing off again, and I decided I was too tired to repress anymore. This time I’ve taken things much slower and gotten rid of the guilt. In many ways, I feel very liberated. I still continue to attend church for the sake of family, and I’m OK with that most of the time.
As Ray and others have said, the transitioning will probably continue for the rest of my life. Sometimes, I really enjoy that, other times I want it to all go away.
MockingJay wrote:Sometimes, I really enjoy that, other times I want it to all go away.
Amen.
I find it interesting how many FC’s go from at least close to TBM all the way to no God within a second. I actually stopped right after the church being true, but still no issue of if there was a God. I am not sure if that is because I live out in the mission field and have meet some people that are not LDS (in fact much better than the “average” LDS member) that I absolutely want to go where they are going after this life is over.
I am not trying to say anything less of those that also questioned if there was a God or not. I am more wondering why I didn’t and others did. I guess that is a question I will have to put on the shelf. Hey – where did my shelf go? Oh, that is right, it broke and I have not gotten around to fixing it.
From my early 40’s until the present (58). I’ve went from TBM, to AUB, to some sort of agnostic/atheist. I still strive to keep an open mind and have become somewhat comfortable with the fact that I’ll probably never “know”… whatever “know” means I’m 60 years old right now. Joined the LDS Church when I was 24 but I can’t say I really fully believed. The real shelf collapse started when I was about 50. It’s been downhill ever since. Hard for me to answer. My crisis started when I was 34, but it did not start as a faith crisis but as a personal crisis leading to life questions. And of course my faith and the church was such an integral part of my life, that it was not off limits to my life journey. My searching opened me to new ideas and doubts and alternatives, and through all of it I clung to my core beliefs, and peeled my non-core beliefs back one by one until I could rebuild my faith anew over a period of 6 years or so (and still rebuilding). That has been more of a faith transition that Ray and Bruce described, and progression, as I worked through my personal crisis situation.
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