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I don’t think anyone mentioned that having your first kid will take a HUGE hit on your marital happiness. I mean HUGE! I wish someone would have told me, “that is going to be the hardest part of your life.”
LH is absolutely right. We tout having kids like it’s some panacea to a happy life, and overall I still recommend it, but only barely. I wouldn’t give up my actual kids, which is the only reason I recommend it, but parenting is by far the hardest hit to your happiness that you will have. You will feel like a failure often with moments of joy in between.
Aside from that, it is nobody’s business but your own when and if you have kids. I always say to myself, “the one who writes the checks is the only one who gets a vote.” I’d actually suggest you tell them, “Well, we won’t be having any kids until we can afford health insurance,” because I guaran-damn-tee you that the people who feel entitled to weigh in on your personal life are mostly people who are oblivious to the plight of young people just starting out these days. Utterly, blissfully, voting against your interests, clueless. And they blame you for it. Hold up the mirror, I say.
hawkgrrrl wrote:
Quote:I don’t think anyone mentioned that having your first kid will take a HUGE hit on your marital happiness. I mean HUGE! I wish someone would have told me, “that is going to be the hardest part of your life.”
LH is absolutely right. We tout having kids like it’s some panacea to a happy life, and overall I still recommend it, but only barely. I wouldn’t give up my actual kids, which is the only reason I recommend it, but parenting is by far the hardest hit to your happiness that you will have. You will feel like a failure often with moments of joy in between.
Amen, happiness studies show that women have a huge spike in their happiness for about 2 years after birth of the baby. Then the couple ends up being less happy than the level of happiness that childless couples have.
hawkgrrrl wrote:
Quote:I don’t think anyone mentioned that having your first kid will take a HUGE hit on your marital happiness. I mean HUGE! I wish someone would have told me, “that is going to be the hardest part of your life.”
LH is absolutely right. We tout having kids like it’s some panacea to a happy life, and overall I still recommend it, but only barely. I wouldn’t give up my actual kids, which is the only reason I recommend it, but parenting is by far the hardest hit to your happiness that you will have. You will feel like a failure often with moments of joy in between.
Aside from that, it is nobody’s business but your own when and if you have kids. I always say to myself, “the one who writes the checks is the only one who gets a vote.” I’d actually suggest you tell them, “Well, we won’t be having any kids until we can afford health insurance,” because I guaran-damn-tee you that the people who feel entitled to weigh in on your personal life are mostly people who are oblivious to the plight of young people just starting out these days. Utterly, blissfully, voting against your interests, clueless. And they blame you for it. Hold up the mirror, I say.
I once heard, “Before, young adults had to work 3 low-paying jobs just to get by. Now, young adults WISH they had three low-paying jobs.” I hate to compare myself without walking a mile in someone else’s shoes, but the economic situation for recent college grads is much worse than it was 20,30,40 years ago. Plus, it’s easy to point the finger when you’ve got a $120,000 paycheck + housing/food/travel stipends + free health & dental insuranse, all thanks to your “righteous, valiant spirit”. I love my daughter with all my heart, but it has been a HUGE financial hardship on my already struggling family.
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