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DH is a convert. He did not serve a mission, did not attend primary or mutual. He has often struggled with fitting in with mormon culture. I can totally understand how converts can feel lonely. I am also convinced that our church NEEDS converts, not for their numbers, but for their spark! I am a convert as well but somehow managed to marry a “daughter of the pioneers — handcart company” wife. I agree that there is something different, like almost in their blood that welds them to the Church. I have now been a member more than 30 years way out in the wilds of British Columbia, but still being a convert is difficult and as I noted in my intro post I feel like an outsider still. Part of the problem for me is that I came into the Church at 20, didn’t have any of that “go on a mission” training so I didn’t. I got married within a year anyway. So my measure of not fitting in, though it might not seem important but is in many ways, is that I am by far the oldest Elder in my ward, the next oldest is almost 15 years younger. I have no major sinful flaws, have been relatively active, always showing up at service projects etc. etc. but never chosen for leadership (which, I guess is OK, since I don’t do that well trying to organize). Anyway, yes, being a convert is difficult BUT since I had to make a conscious choice to become a member it was based on three crucial spiritual moments when I received an absolutely firm assurance of Christ, of Joseph Smith and of the Book of Mormon. Those testimonies keep me going.
Have you looked at the Fowler Stages of Faith stuff yet? That has been a big help for me, recognizing that perhaps the doubting, struggling and darkness are part of a process that has light on the other side.
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