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I was just reading Job yesterday, and I thought the same thing I do every time I read the scriptures. The scriptures condemn the average church member so well, so fully, and so clearly that it’s a wonder they don’t recognize the rebuke. I continue to conclude that’s because none of them actually read the scriptures, and our proof-texted versions in the manuals eliminate all the true messages. Had a temple experience like that but not as extreme…am a convert, so doing my grandparents work was important to me personally as I could stand in for all ordinances. So, I took the names to the temple, and when we got to the baptismal font, found someone else had already done them for us. The ordinance worker was also having a bad day and lost his temper with our group at one point over something, so I couldn’t even share my concerns with anyone. Just left feeling disappointed.
The temple means less to me now, so it’s no longer a source of angst (it lasted only a week of angst when it happened, as I figured at least the initial work was done), but it surprised me how casual everyone at the temple could be about such things when our Sunday lessons and theology centers on the importance of such ordinances, the spiritual experiences that accompany them etecetera.
SilentDawning wrote:So, what do you say to the priesthood leader/well meaning member of the church who assumes that old trauma is no longer a valid reason for church less-activity, lessened faith?
I do portray myself as going through the grief process as this appears to be the least threatening/confrontational position to take. That my faith is damaged and faltering but it is still looking forward in hope. If my bishop (I do not really engage in these types of faith discussions with others) were so insensitive to suggest that I should move on and “get with the LDS gospel program already”, I would talk to them about the stages of grief. I would let them know that grief cannot be planned or scheduled. It is not something to check off of my “to do” list so that I can move on to the more pressing matters of the day. I must feel my way through as I live each day … one day at a time.
Even if the insensitive priesthood leader still sees me as a backsliding shirker, he doesn’t really have anywhere for the conversation to go. Is he really going to get into a disagreement with me about how long the grief process should last? I am careful to keep the church out of the conversation.
In reality, I believe that I worked through much of the grief process already and emerged from the other side with a very different perspective and assumptive reality. I believe that it would be nearly impossible for me to return to a younger version of myself with a more black and white, stage 3 belief system. I try to portray myself as hurting and confused and trying to move forward with the broken and battered faith that I have because I believe that this approach will have the best chance of letting me continue to associate and participate with the LDS community. I have been successful in securing permission to baptize both of my children (now 10 and
with this non-confrontational approach. Just last Sunday I was set apart for my calling as a cub scout leader. I hope that this is sustainable and that I am not eventually pushed out for lack of “progress.”This seems to be working for me but my circumstances may be different than everyone else’s. Your mileage may vary.
hawkgrrrl wrote:I continue to conclude that’s because none of them actually read the scriptures, and our proof-texted versions in the manuals eliminate all the true messages.
Hard to blame the manuals when so few read those, too.
Thought I was going to be burned at the stake for heresy for quoting a couple of lines out of the Gospel Principles manual. One of the other converts dug it out and proved that was exactly what it said.
NightSG and SD: My one genealogy incident was a great-grandfather. His wife died, he left their baby with his deceased wife’s family and he took off in 1897. He disappeared. No one could figure out where he went. A newspaper office and county courthouse fire complicated things as we couldn’t get official birth or marriage certificates due to those long ago fires. All we had was a name and approximate age. Entire family has been looking for this one guy since then. Well over 100 years of searching.
I thought I had finally found him. I ended up traveling 10 hours one way, an over night stay, and lots of digging through old courthouse records, but I was able to verify that I had found him, his grave, and some details. I got the name of his parents too. Sent a mass email of all the various documents and photos out to family. I was sharing the discovery! When I went to submit his work a month later, I found that my brother had submitted it and had done all the temple work as soon as I sent the documents. His excuse, “Well, I go to the temple every Saturday”.
Not cool bro ..
I’ve got several direct line folks that were done by other people. It’s interesting that people have a strong desire to do the work for certain people themselves. It goes to show that temple work is every bit as beneficial to the living as it is to the dead. Nibbler: I thought it enforced my past experiences that my little brother is an A@@hole.
We have some family members that we are not ready to do ordinances for. A guy kept badgering us about it that we didnt’ know. Eventualy, he submitted the names as being in his own family, did the ordinances, and then filed a correction putting them under our own family line. Totally irked my wife.
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