Becoming an Adult of God

[Anonymous]

Old-Timer wrote:

My short summary:

Stage 3 = thinking as a child, as in accepting what you’re told.

Stage 4 = thinking like a teenager, as in rebelling not because you have anything better but simply because you don’t like what you’re told or begin to establish your own identity – and often doing it loudly and publicly to show that nobody can tell you what to do.

Stage 5 = thinking as an adult, as in deciding how to act based on what you personally believe, generally as a combination of the completely personal and the communally accepted – sometimes publicly, rarely loudly (but forcefully, when necessary), sometimes privately, usually quietly and almost always respectful of others’ differing views.

How’s that?

That’s more reasonable. In terms of my current, public, local personna, I’m an adult. Internally, I have teenager periods, and a year ago, when I quit going to Church for a while over the agonizingly long period they took to release me, I think there was some teenager in me, although the overriding purpose was to help them get the lead out by creating a bit of a crisis –not to grandstand.

Not sure how I will handle that one again, quite honestly — as an “Adult of God”.

How would an “Adult of God” handle that kind of situation?

Currently, as you know, my strategy is to:

a) Not accept callings I don’t think I can sustain, from the get-go. Be either hot or cold, yes or no, in and out, up or down, not in the middle (thanks to Katy Perry for that inspiration).

b) Suggest callings I think I could sustain over long periods of time and hope they call me to them. Consider the others they extend, but ultimately, let my inner compass rule.

c) Provide definite end-dates when you are no longer available that provide a reasonable time for the leaders to find someone to replace you. The number of times I’ve heard that people are moving, get released, and then find they aren’t moving after all is astounding!

I used to think it was because of planning misshaps and changing circumstances, but now, I’m not so sure. I think it’s probably strategy half the time — perhaps an “Adult of God” method of mediating between two competing forces. These forces are i) the individual’s personal limits in sustaining activity in a calling or situation, and ii) the tendency for some (many) Church leaders to never get around to releasing you when the ball is in their court.

In general, I’ve found the world acts swiftly when its own interests are at heart, and slowly when the interests of a powerless “customer” are at heart. There are enlightened exceptions, but in general, that’s the tendency I’ve observed.

[Also, to speak generally, a TBM told me about his Dad’s Adult of God approach to disagreements with Stake Leaders. His Dad was a Bishop. His Dad believed strongly in the positive experience of being camping with a particular group of young men in the Ward, even if it meant missing Sunday meetings. The new SP disagreed and forbade them, and the BP kept doing it anyway, citing the many positive benefits it had on that particular group of young men. Apparently, he was a strong Bishop in many other respects, and had “capital”. Same thing happened with our prior Bishop. The Stake Presidency came in and ripped on everyone about home teaching (see the Slackers post I made recently). Apparently, when they started doing it again in Ward Council, our former Bishop told them politely they ‘needed more time’ to get organized with respect to HT. This was a way of basically telling them to stop berating everyone in that meeting, and to diffuse the situation. It was polite, but assertive].

[Anonymous]

A key characteristic of Stage 4 is the transition of authority from Stage 3 external sources (group consensus, group leaders) to internal sources (your own focused spotlight of truth vs not truth). So I might agree that the beginnings of this process might correlate to a teenager-like rebelliousness at times, but I don’t think a Stage 4 framework settles into equilibrium like that. It doesn’t have to, and I would think at some point most people will become comfortable with their new, internal truth detectors (however they make these).

Also, I like to point out that Stage 4 does NOT have to mean doubt or distancing from the Church (or any religion). I think it often ends up that way for people in an LDS Mormon faith content / context because of the strong themes of group authority, but it doesn’t have to be that way. I think there are many more Stage 4 Mormons active in the Church than we might at first assume or see. It would be hard to tell without talking to someone for an extended period of time and asking them a lot of questions about their faith. That’s the type of research Dr. Fowler did.

I think there can be people in the Church who are active and even in leadership positions that have moved that center of authority internally, and just happen to be fine with the LDS faith content — they believe in the Church because THEY decided it was true with their new “truth detectors,” that it makes the best sense to them, and it works.

A key difference between a still-believing Stage 4 Mormon and a still-participating Stage 5 Mormon might be hard to spot. I think it would hinge on their reasoning, which is what Stage theory is all about. It’s not about what people do or believe. It’s about why they believe and how they process their faith content. A Stage 4 active Mormon would be active perhaps because they decided it was true and logically better than all the other options. A Stage 5 active Mormon would be active more because they simply enjoy the experience and playing with the beliefs, not so much because it is true. Stage 5 is a more wishy-washy, detached faith, but with the added benefit of being freed from the need for it to be true or false. This tends to allow Stage 5-ers to explore other faith content perhaps with the same detachment and not be conflicted about it.

I rambled on about all that to point out that people could become an “adult of God” in Stage 4 or Stage 5. I agree that isn’t as likely in Stage 3 or below.

[Anonymous]

Good stuff Brian.

I like this thought.

Brian Johnston wrote:

It’s not about what people do or believe. It’s about why they believe and how they process their faith content. A Stage 4 active Mormon would be active perhaps because they decided it was true and logically better than all the other options. A Stage 5 active Mormon would be active more because they simply enjoy the experience and playing with the beliefs, not so much because it is true. Stage 5 is a more wishy-washy, detached faith, but with the added benefit of being freed from the need for it to be true or false. This tends to allow Stage 5-ers to explore other faith content perhaps with the same detachment and not be conflicted about it.

I rambled on about all that to point out that people could become an “adult of God” in Stage 4 or Stage 5. I agree that isn’t as likely in Stage 3 or below.

[Author]

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