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I’ve done enough complaining on this board–i want to tell you about a neat experience i had in the wee hours of the morning once. My step-father sexually abused us for over 20 years. It was covert sexual abuse–I got the worst of it and for many years I was the only one who kept complaining about it and making things come to a blow-up every so often.
My step-father passed away about 6 years ago. I don’t have nightmares anymore. Even though I can’t say that it doesn’t come up once in awhile with negative feelings—I still feel like I can say that I forgive him.
We have grandchildren now. Early one morning I couldn’t sleep and I was thinking about how my step-father used to really play with the little ones and how much they loved him, and I remember thinking that I wanted it to be enough that “I” forgave
him. I know it doesn’t work that way, and that there were other people who were affected by the things he did, also. But, I remember thinking that I would be willing to stand by his side before the judgement seat and say that I forgave him.
I think I got just a little glimpse into what the atonement really means.
Thanks for sharing that. Forgiveness is something that is deeply personal and not at all easy in many situations. It is amazingly liberating, especially in very difficult circumstances. Sometimes, it’s harder to forgive littler things than it is to forgive bigger things.
Just something to consider as you work through your issues with local members.
momto11, thank you for your honesty. Your willingness to forgive your SF is a real example of how to live a Christ-like life. As time passes, you may have your emotional ups & downs. If necessary, don’t hesitate to seek help.
This group is here for you too. There are others here that know what you’re going through.
Mike from Milton.
Mom, that’s really hard, and my heart goes out to you. Thanks for sharing that! I have found the power of forgiveness to be so powerful and freeing. There have been some abuse in my family growing up and only after forgiveness has there been growth and some happiness. My heart goes out to you and also my admiration. I have noticed that when some one feels forgiveness that they can change, and it helps them forgive themselves. That not always the case but I have really noticed that after we forgive it is so much easier to move on or at least move forward and bitterness and hate really only truly hurts the one holding on to those emotions. I also realize that is easier said than done. Many years ago professional counselor taught that regardless of what kind of relationship you had with your parents, everyone needs to forgive their parents for real and imagined wounds they inflicted on you. Each has the responsibility to forgive their parents of these “injustices”. I have come to believe this is a powerful truth that does apply to most everyone. Thank you Momto11. I just finished reading Chieko Okazaki’s address on abuse and healing – right behind it came your inspiring story of love and Godliness. Thank you, you created the most beautiful image for my mind, I could see you standing before the judgement side by side, hand in hand him and representing the best of him. I pray (and that is sincere) that you will revisit this happy conclusion often. Sister Okazaki’s book is incredible. If you haven’t read it, I recommend it highly – and if you have read it, I recommend reading it again. what’s the name of her book??? Hi Momto11- I was out of town last week and I travel unplugged when I can. Chieko has a plethora of books but the one I am reading right now is called Discipleship. Another great one is Lighten Up. But Discipleship has the Abuse chapter in it. I believe it was from a talk she gave at a women’s conference. At the time she was in the General Relief Society Presidency as a councilor. So I give her GA status.
Good Luck – and thank you again for your powerful healing experience.
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