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In his book, “Love and Marriage”, Bill Cosby wrote the following: Quote:“Where are you going?” I say to her as she gets up from a dinner table and starts to leave people I am entertaining.
“To anyplace,” she softly says to me, “where I don’t have to hear this story for the ninety-seventh time.
This moment reveals the ultimate challenge for a woman in a marriage: to accept it for the re-run it is but keep herself from canceling the show.
I read this quote and immediately thought about how often I hear people complain that they hear the same things over and over again at church. I guess my only response is that I look for newness on my own; I look for familiarity and insight when I’m with others. There is a difference between newness and insight, and it’s too easy to confuse the two.
At this point in my marriage, I don’t get much newness from my wife – and she doesn’t get much newness from me. I do get lots and lots of insight from her – probably more than she gets from me.
That’s true, probably, about those with whom I attend church. They don’t get much newness from me, but I hope they get some insight – and I am positive I get more insight from their collective whole than they get from singular me.
I know my marriage and my church consist mostly of re-runs at this point in my life, and I do want to get up sometimes and avoid hearing that particular story for the 97th time, but I love the show and don’t want to cancel it. I guess church for me is a lot like M*A*S*H *- a great show I like watching no matter how many times I’ve seen it before. It makes me laugh; it makes me cry; it makes me shake my head; it makes me nod my head; it makes me cringe; it makes my soul expand. I love it for its complexity – especially for the times I hear something for the 98th time and realize I never really understood it until then.
I found this post while searching for posts from my personal blog for another current thread and thought I would bump it up, since it’s been almost three years since I posted it. Thanks for posting things like this. I’m trying to get my husband more comfortable with my being on this site. I asked him to come read over my shoulder and he appreciated it, too. Thank you Ray, for the comment Quote:That’s true, probably, about those with whom I attend church. They don’t get much newness from me, but I hope they get some insight – and I am positive I get more insight from their collective whole than they get from singular me.
. I needed that, as I struggle with my 97th time. Intellectually, I know that it is up to me to glean the truths and reminders from talks or lessons, that I need. But sometimes it’s just easier to skip the meeting and read the scriptures, or StayLDS, or whatever than sit through another pontification on why I should just “follow the prophet”.
I don’t get the same thing out of that as you. To me it sounds like she’s needs a break or she is going to go crazy and leave him altogether. She isn’t trying to find something new in his story for the 97th time, she is removing herself so she doesn’t get annoyed and resentful. I agree, Brown – but the point is that she isn’t letting the boring, frustrating things drive her away. She steps away, takes a breath, does something else while the story is told again – but never severs or steps out of the relationship. I love the quote because it has multiple applications and implications – and it simply resonates with me.
Old-Timer wrote:I agree, Brown – but the point is that she isn’t letting the boring, frustrating things drive her away. She steps away, takes a breath, does something else while the story is told again – but never severs or steps out of the relationship.
Maybe she excuses herself from SM with a fussy child. Maybe she decides to sit in the foyer and chat rather than go to SS. Maybe she asks for a calling in nursery. Maybe she works on Sundays rather than attend church. Maybe she takes the family on a weekend camping trip once a month/quarter. There are lots of ways for her to step away without stepping out.
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