Blaming Parents for Wayward Kids

[Anonymous]

Love the skit!! 😆

But, wouldn’t that be like a University reserving some scholarships to straight C students? ….actually, that could be a good way to give some people opportunities. Why does that not happen?

[Anonymous]

mom3 wrote:

Thanks –

Quote:

I think the families that have the most staying power are the ones that have the most LDS kitsch in their homes on display.

:clap:

Just baptized my laptop with my caffeinated beverage.

Oh come on. You just did a “sprinkle” baptism. That does not count. But my advice is that you don’t truly baptize any of your electronic devices. They don’t come up very “clean”

[Anonymous]

hawkgrrrl wrote:

Some elders did a very astute skit at a mission conference in my mission. It was poking fun at the “sales” nature of our role as missionaries. They had given their sales pitch to the investigator who then balked at some of the requirements. In response they countered with, “Hey, that’s our Celestial Kingdom package. We have another package that might suit you better. It’s our Terrestrial Kingdom package, and you can also get that package with baptism. Here’s what that entails. . .” I think we need a few more Terrestrial Kingdom package members or to make it at least OK to be one.

I’d be in favor of trying with the terrestrial starter package. If that goes well, upgrade to the Celestial package. The terrestrial package is far less expensive, and a good fit for people who don’t need the benefits of the celestial package. IT’s not clear if you ever get to collect on the benefits of the celestial package.

As someone said, discipline pays off in the future, but procrastination pays off right now.

[Anonymous]

Ann wrote:

hawkgrrrl wrote:

One thought I keep having is that at some point in our growth we have to embrace the lukewarm members more than we do.

Maybe the LDS church just isn’t set up for this. Lukewarm members usually don’t pay a regulation tithe or have temple recommends. i can’t off-hand think of another mainstream religion that has this kind of “all in” status that is beyond regular attendance, service, participation. But I think we need to adjust pretty quickly to a new reality.

To me it looks like a certain amount of apathy or lack of attention to details regarding the Church’s teachings actually helps members stay in the Church as long as they accept a few major points like temple marriage and the WoW and if anything taking everything the Church teaches too seriously actually increases the chances that members will eventually lose their testimony and/or get burned out by the Church. Many people that fall away from the Church already had the same “gospel teaching and modeling in the home” as their siblings that remain active members.

That’s one reason why it looks like Church leaders are blaming a false cause for members leaving instead of facing the real reasons apparently because they don’t want to consider the possibility that anything could be wrong with the Church itself so instead they blame the members for doing it wrong and basically tell them to try harder to apply the same old ideas that have already failed to deliver the expected results for many of them. Personally I think a better solution to retain more members even from a TBM perspective would be to at least try to make the Church experience better overall and less of a pain and hassle than it currently is (I.E. make changes to home teaching, callings, meetings, etc.) instead of doubling down on the repeated guilt-trips and expecting people to believe and do what they are told to this extent simply because they said so.

[Anonymous]

DA, taking your idea that a superficial knowledge of things and a willingness to stay on the surface leads to success (lets not knock that too much – there’s something to be said for breadth over depth at times), then I’m going to double down on my kitsch comment. “Come for the gospel; stay for the tchotchkes!” Another way to say that is “Come for the gospel; stay for the culture.” People who don’t like the culture have to find a way to make it work despite the culture. People who like the culture are untroubled to try to manufacture reasons to stay.

[Anonymous]

Quote:

People who don’t like the culture have to find a way to make it work despite the culture. People who like the culture are untroubled to try to manufacture reasons to stay.

This. People can be converted to the theology (spiritually and/or intellectually) or to the Church (socially). If the culture works well (globally, but especially locally), theological differences can be handled much more easily than if there are cultural issues.

[Anonymous]

hawkgrrrl wrote:

DA, taking your idea that a superficial knowledge of things and a willingness to stay on the surface leads to success (lets not knock that too much – there’s something to be said for breadth over depth at times), then I’m going to double down on my kitsch comment. “Come for the gospel; stay for the tchotchkes!” Another way to say that is “Come for the gospel; stay for the culture.” People who don’t like the culture have to find a way to make it work despite the culture. People who like the culture are untroubled to try to manufacture reasons to stay.

One strategy — minimization. Hawk made a comment some time ago that lined up with a seemingly unrelated (but related, as I shall masterfully show) book I was reading called “Winning with the Boss from Hell”. She commented that when you have a bad boss, you have to minimize their impact on you. the book I was reading made the comment that the first strategy of anyone with a boss from hell is to “Fly under the radar” and not get on their critical list. If they never see you, but keep hearing only positive things you leak to them through others, the results can be astounding.

So, how does this apply to the church culture? I find that minimizing the influence of church culture is one way to happiness. Fly under the radar. Let people hear about the good things you do for others, but don’t get too near the leaders, don’t be too visible at church if you can help it (come a bit late, or right on the bell, and leave as fast as you possibly can). Let the gossips know about the good things you do for others, or through your spouse or leaking it in meetings. Have great excuses for not doing certain things, and smart ways of brushing off requests for too much integration. Give vague hope of greater involvement when pressed. Has been working fine with us now for some time.

I find that telling others you attend a different ward helps. You appear active but no one knows for sure. When missionaries and members come over to my home, I’m very comfortable with them now (had one such incident a few days ago, and was “challenged” to find the missionaries people to teach). I could do without them looking up my shorts to see if I’m wearing garments, but beyond that, the culture hasn’t bothered me in a while. Fly under the radar, strategically leak information, and the the church be what it wants to be. You can be in it, but not of it. Make your own fun outside the church. The world needs you on a number of counts and it doesn’t have to be about the church all the time!!

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