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All the new people that registered over the weekend have been approved. I deleted a main page blog comment that was just an angry rant. We should be all set through the time I post this message. Let’s keep vigilant about all the new users. We need to make sure and keep the content matched to our mission. Lets be patient and work with those people we think can be helped and coached.
This is really cool getting some press/PR.
Thanks for all your work, Valoel. I was floored by the response, and it was nice to not be the one doing the heavy lifting. 
Wow, so much has happened as I’m away! Great job on the article guys! I just wanted to say I’m sorry to be the slacker lately. My schedule may lighten up in the months ahead. Keep up the great work! Just a quick note – I was a bit tough with George on his “One Last Ditch” note. I wanted to set a tone that differs from NOM. If people are coming here to be enlightened and to “stay LDS,” I think the types of questions I am asking (in a somewhat tough and direct manner) are important for people to consider. Please let me know if you think I’m out of line.
Not at all. I thought it was perfect. It was a little on the rough side. I think that was fine with George though. If that is what you were prompted to say to him, I support you 100%. I thought at the time that it would be a helpful way to see if he really wants to stay, or if he just wants an audience to listen to his rantings. I am still not sure. Did all of you see John’s e-mail about Eric Davis from the ex-mo boards? Apparently, he tried to register as “The End”. We need to be careful, but I don’t want to go overboard.
I think those RFM and Ex-Mo guys are going to end up looking like tools if they do come by pretending to be interested in StayLDS but really trying to spike the punch. On the George thing, I would say I did feel “prompted” to respond that way to him, largely for the reason you mentioned. It may have been very “tough love,” but I don’t want the site to become another NOM or OM. We’re here to help people stay, not to help them feel smug in their hurt feelings and judgment of others (like at both NOM and OM). This is the place you come to do some of the hard work it takes to heal. Anyone who demands apologies, even if apologies are owed, is stuck as a person.
Here’s kind of how I see these sites functioning:
RFM/Ex-Mo– left the church, can’t leave it alone, want to bring everyone else down; they see the church as the great deceiver that must be exposed NOM– a place to leave the church quietly with some peace (this differs from its stated aims, but that is what the site has become) OM– a place to be in the church but not of the church. For some it’s NOM with real names. For others, it’s a place to be themselves when they feel they don’t fit in. Bloggernacle– a place to pick scabs StayLDS– a place to heal from your wounds and resume your spiritual journey within the church that you were disillusioned with. A self-help discussion group toward these ends. hawkgrrrl wrote:Bloggernacle– a place to pick scabs Lol, that was excellent. Very insightful, as usual.
hawkgrrrl wrote:I don’t want the site to become another NOM or OM. We’re here to help people stay, not to help them feel smug in their hurt feelings and judgment of others (like at both NOM and OM). This is the place you come to do some of the hard work it takes to heal.
Amen.
Personally I really value the purpose of this site and I’m glad we have the common vision to keep it what it is.
I am going to be slightly more aggressive than normal with new posts – and I think locking the ones that raise red flags while we have a chance to discuss them might be a good first option. I think we might have driven off Brother Carter by locking his post, and I think that’s a good thing – and a quiet way to handle it. mwallace’s new post fits that category for me. Is that an overreaction, or does anyone else feel uncomfortable with the tone? He has contributed some good comments, but he also slips in things that appear almost to be “covert” – much like my unease with george. Feel free to unlock it, anyone – I am rushed, and it might be no big deal.
Along with a lock or significant moderator action, I encourage a quick PM to the user to explain why. The softer the tone, the better in those messages. Let’s try to coach people some if we have time. I have honestly been a little overwhelmed trying to keep up with all the new traffic.
I’m cool w/ the patient, longsuffering approach too — with one HUGE caveat. If the choices are:
1) Lose Brian/Ray/Ang because things get too overwhelming/time consuming
vs.
2) Moderate w/ a heavy hand…
I’ll move towards the 2nd w/ light speed every time.
So I know we don’t live in a binary world….I’ll just say….you guys take care of yourselves first, ok?
johndehlin wrote:So I know we don’t live in a binary world….I’ll just say….you guys take care of yourselves first, ok?
Agreed and understood. I just may not be able to write a thoughtful response to every single topic. That’s fine. It looks like we have nurtured a lot of great people before the recent spike. They are doing a wonderful job of jumping in and providing support.
I am very impressed with the crowd of regulars. It gives me great hope.
Amen, valoel. One of the things that hit me recently is that I don’t have to comment on every thread anymore – or contribute a long comment. I love that realization – that we’ve done a good thing and the regulars are fine without us being as visible and active.
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