bridget

[Anonymous]

Brian, I agree that the better option is to move it to this forum. Can I do that without moving the entire thread? Can I copy it here and just “hide” it in the thread, so it retains her name but just can’t be seen by anyone else? I didn’t want to move the entire thread, but I didn’t want to leave the comment up as it was.

Sorry I don’t know the answers to those questions yet. You’d think I would, but I’ve never thought about it.

I will send her a PM and explain my reason.

[Anonymous]

Heber, it hadn’t hit me consciously until I read your comment, but that’s exactly why this had been nagging at me for a while. It’s not just the content; it’s the way she targets that particular message to the new participants in the intro posts. She writes it in other places, also, but it seems like she writes that specific, almost scripted comment in multiple intro posts – whenever there is any inkling of “inactivity”. I don’t want one of the things new participants read right when they join to be a subtle, scripted recruitment message for another church. (I’m not saying she does it intentionally. I don’t if that is accurate or not.)

For example, there is no hint whatsoever of it in her latest comment in the missionary son post by “afterall”. Her comment there mentions her gay son (identifying his homosexuality directly, as always), but there is no mention of the Nazarene Church in it – because there’s no way to “work it into the conversation” in that thread.

it’s the quasi-scripted nature of the comment and the use of it in intro posts that has bothered me the most.

Thanks for that epiphany, although I still probably was wrong to delete it if there was an option to hide it or move only it to this forum.

[Anonymous]

She’s a broken record, skipping over the same part of her song, ad nauseum: How happy she is out of the Church, and her GAY son.

Did you know she has a gay son? She wrote a book about it actually… 😈

[Anonymous]

Wow, I didn’t realize that. Don’t tell anyone else. :shh:

[Anonymous]

Here’s what I wrote to her and her response:

Quote:

Bridget, I want to let you know I deleted your comment in the good days, bad days thread. I wanted to talk with the admins about it and didn’t know how to do so without deleting it, since I didn’t want to hide the thread while we talked.

Frankly, I was concerned about the constant mention in many of your comments of the specific denomination you attend now – the Church of the Nazarene. There is NOTHING wrong with them, and I’m glad you are happy there (sincerely), but we can’t be seen in any way as appearing to “promote” or “approve of” particular denominations as “good choices” for our participants. We have general discussions sometimes about specific denominations in threads dedicated to that type of discussion, but we have hundreds and hundreds of readers every day who lurk but don’t comment (many of them who aren’t struggling with their own testimonies or activity but are married or related or working with someone who is) – and we don’t want them to think that we are promoting or encouraging or favoring any particular group (or even that we are encouraging people to leave the LDS Church, since we aren’t).

This is true especially in introduction posts. The mission of this site is to help people find a way to “Stay LDS”. We support fully those who choose to leave, but we can’t tout leaving as the answer to new participants who are still in the “discovery stage” of their crises and remain true to our mission.

That’s why I deleted your comment and started a discussion with the other admins. We all are happy you are happy where you are attending right now (and we appreciate much of what you contribute here), but we just can’t keep having comments that read like invitations to leave the LDS Church and highlight one specific denomination posted here – even though we believe it’s unintentional.

Do you understand what I mean?

Quote:

Dear Ray,

Thank you so much for your reply and explanation. I totally understand where you are coming from. You are correct that it was not intentional, so I am glad you made me aware of this. I am sorry, I did not catch this early because I clearly see your point. I should have realized this myself earlier. So, I humbly apologize and will not do that again.

You all have been very fair and are very tolerant. StayLDS is a wonderful forum that I enjoy being a part of. Even though I have found a lot of happiness and peace in the Nazerene church, I still struggle with my beliefs. So many of my husband and I’s beliefs and hopes still coincide with the lds faith. I am still so confused as to what is from God and what is not anymore. Many times I hope many of the lds teachings are true because they make more sense than what I find in the Nazerene or evangelical churches. Sometimes, I wish the 2nd coming would come so that all good people in all churches could finally become of one faith and gospel. In the mean time, I like reading the discussions on this forum and learning from others. I also enjoy contributing.

Please know that I will be much more sensitive to the goals of this forum and reply more appropriately.

Sincerely,

Bridget

[Anonymous]

I liked her response. I believe she is sincere.

We’ve talked before about some emotional imbalance issues with her, and I think she might be one of those “eternal spiritual welfare cases”, if you will.

I’m fine with that, as long as we understand that upfront.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for sharing the exchange, Ray. It is good to hear her response in her own words. I do think she is sincere, but unaware how much her insecurity and doubts prompt her to get validation while she is searching still.

[Anonymous]

I’m glad we try to be patient with people. Thanks for communicating with her Ray.

[Anonymous]

I remember talking about Bridget in the past, and her current post still has me thinking the same things about her.

Her post about her son doesn’t really have anything to do with our mission in stayingLDS…just kind of is sharing how her son is being treated by another pastor of another faith and how wonderful they are…and that’s it. NOthing really about her and how she navigates mormonism or anything.

Just an observation, I guess. Not sure we have to do anything, except keep an eye on her as usual that she isn’t going on about bashing the church as not handling things right, and finding things outside church that work for her.

Why she comes to this group to talk about that…I’m not sure???

But keep an eye on her.

[Anonymous]

I just read it, commented on it (including an Admin Note), and then saw this bumped up post.

I hope I wasn’t too harsh, but we have had this exact conversation with her in the past – as evidenced by this thread.

[Anonymous]

I personally am fond of Bridget. She was more active here when I first discovered Staylds and at the time seemed to live the closest to me in the Midwest.

I understand that she has essentially left Mormonism behind (except perhaps for the parts of Mormonism that will always be a part of her).

At the same time I welcome her to stop by and share as long as she is not being critical.

[Anonymous]

I sense she is hurting. Deeply right now. I am not sure what troubled her waters. I find myself getting easily irritated with her so I need to be careful. If anyone catches me over stepping, please let me know.

[Anonymous]

I think she comes here for two conflicting reasons: emotional support when she feels alone and venting about the Church’s stance on homosexuality. I get the sense that, deep down, she wishes she could still be active in the Church – that she still would be if it wasn’t for her experiences with her son and how he and others are viewed and treated. I think her husband probably has left it behind completely, but she still “has a testimony” to a degree of lots of stuff.

That is just a sense, so I might be wrong.

I also like her and hurt for her.

[Anonymous]

I just would honestly love to have conversations about the topic of how families would navigate with homosexuality in the family and dealing with church…and also do like Bridget, and I like people coming to get a sense of community they can vent on things.

I just wish it wasn’t always a view of how much better everyone outside of mormonism deals with the LGBT thing than mormons, which is what I take her angle is.

I can let it go…just think we do moderate it to the mission purpose…but I like her coming by too. One thing for sure…it hasn’t changed in years and it doesn’t really escalate to really being damaging to our discussions here. Predictable is less concerning for me.

[Author]

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