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Bruce Lee was one of my childhood heros…watching him do martial arts on TV and running around the yard with my brother to reenact it. He was awesome. I came across a quote this week from him:
Quote:“Absorb what is useful, discard what is not, add what is uniquely your own.”
I like this approach to church, because much of our experience at church is what we make it, and where our faith is. Many times we feel pressure to absorb EVERYTHING, and if it doesn’t feel right, we just don’t know what to do, and sometimes over react to just reject everything. But this is wisdom to approach things like Bruce Lee.
1. Absorb what is useful.This requires first defining what is useful in our lives. OUR lives, not what others tell us should be useful. If we want community and support so we don’t go at things alone…that is useful. If we want truth in the scriptures that is going to guide our lives so we can make decisions day to day, that is useful. If we want spiritual experiences to uplift us through our trials in life, that is useful. I can sacrifice things like my time on Sunday, or not drinking tea, when I am focused on the useful stuff. What do you find is most useful about church that keeps you wanting to StayLDS?2. Discard what is not.Discarding things not useful is important, because we can’t do everything. Even with beliefs…I am not sure I can understand everything. So, to give me more capacity to absorb the useful, I can make room by discarding what is not. There is much about the LDS faith I have not found useful to me. Perhaps I could spend more time to understand more so it becomes useful. But for many things, I have tried for long enough…no use pounding my head against the wall. I simply don’t find some things useful to me, and that is OK. Some teachings are ok to let go of, and even if others disagree, I don’t need to put it on a shelf that hangs over me, but in the waste basket below so it doesn’t fall on me later. It is simply gone. Not useful. What do you find not useful you feel better when discarding it? Or do you find it hard to let go of parts of church?3. Add what is uniquely your own.I would say this most profoundly struck me. In the past, I think I stopped at #1 and #2. But…this is really an important lesson for me. Make mormonism MY faith. Practice it how I practice it, what works for me, what i believe in, what I want to do, what I can add to the experience with the community and with others. This is not to ignore prophets and leaders, but find ways to take the lessons and direction from leaders and make it uniquely mine. Perhaps I can help add to the community and even change things. Perhaps I can not change things but show others I can be firmly inside even with uniqueness. Or…maybe it has nothing to do with others. But as I make it uniquely mine, I own it and take responsibility for my faith and my religion. As I do that…more things become clear on what is useful and what is not. I think it is important to get to the point that we allow ourselves to believe and do what we want to believe and feel in the church, even if others believe differently. I think perhaps that is the difference between Fowler’s stage 4 and 5. In stage 5, you let others believe what they may, but you aren’t there to follow others or borrow their light, you are their to make your own and let it shine. You’re unique. Let your faith be unique.
How have you made mormonism your unique faith? What things make it hard to do so in a community of faith like ours?Heber, great advice. That’s what I strive to do after my faith transition. Heber13 wrote:What do you find is most useful about church that keeps you wanting to StayLDS?
I love some of the concepts, but the community is what keeps me wanting to StayLDS.
Heber13 wrote:What do you find not useful you feel better when discarding it? Or do you find it hard to let go of parts of church?…How have you made mormonism your unique faith? What things make it hard to do so in a community of faith like ours?
I have discarded guilt, judgment, and perfectionism. I had a spiritual experience where I felt something akin to, “You are my child. I know you. I accept you. I love you.” I felt a love that was without expectation. It was just so different than the “well done my good and faithful servant” message that we are taught to seek after. Letting go of these has changed my entire outlook. However, people at church see my letting go of these as my being deceived. The community seeks uniformity and seems to be distrusting of differences.
Quote:What is useful?
Structure and clean living for youth. Investment in youth and helping them get through the teenage years effectively. Generally good people with good moral values. Certain pithy principles such as the object of our existence being happiness and joy.Quote:What should be discarded
Drudgerous, repetitive, systemized service. Trying to achieve success in HT in a reporting system that makes success, as defined by our measurement systems and leaders, as impossible. Egocentrism, conscription into callings, lackadaisical leaders who will not release people on feasible timelines, judgmentalism toward people who are unorthodox. Expectations of reciprocity for service given, even when there are legitimate, non-financial at the heart of the churches fourfold mission. Expectations of unconditional acceptance by the community, or a feeling of community and belonging for who you are, particularly when this runs counter to orthodox culture.Quote:What is uniquely yours
An approach to Mormonism that compensates for its failures without abandoning it completely. This is in the form of self-directed community service, maintaining good relationships with local leaders, contributions to the organization in callings that I truly want and feel passionate about, while rejecting pressure to engage in callings and service opportuntiies that don’t bring happiness.Heber13 wrote:I think perhaps that is the difference between Fowler’s stage 4 and 5. In stage 5, you let others believe what they may, but you aren’t there to follow others or borrow their light, you are their to make your own and let it shine. You’re unique. Let your faith be unique.
Bruce Lee had another quote (he had many):
Quote:Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.
I just wanted to add… what you absorb, what you discard, and what you add are fluid; it changes with time, even from moment to moment. It’s okay to discard what was once absorbed and to absorb what was once discarded, circumstances can dictate.
Heber13 wrote:Bruce Lee was one of my childhood heros…watching him do martial arts on TV and running around the yard with my brother to reenact it.
He was awesome. Bruce Lee or your brother? Could your brother take on Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?
My big problem with this is identifying what is and isn’t useful. In the case of the church, it has taken me years to identify one or the other. SamBee wrote:My big problem with this is identifying what is and isn’t useful. In the case of the church, it has taken me years to identify one or the other.
you know, Sambee…I think there is kind of a risk involved with that too, not just time…but also risk you start to know how to identify the stuff to keep. If you just take everything the church says at face value, believing prophets won’t lead us astray, and just submit your will to that…it is easier. Like…don’t date until you’re 16…ok…a rule I can follow, not sure why, no biggie…I have faith and believe it to be true and it will help me feel better about myself. Then tithing…I can do that…have faith…it will bless.
As long as it is working and the sacrifice is do-able…well…it builds with lots of rules and a lifestyle that you grow up in the church with.
Then…it happens…something that doesn’t make sense or doesn’t seem do-able.
Church stance on LGBT, teachings on marriage or how the church treats women, or life crisis that the church has no answer for it.
You start to deal with it by following Bruce Lee’s advice…and shedding things without throwing out the baby with the bathwater, holding on to the good (church service and loving others) but starting to let go of the stuff that doesn’t help you (attending 3 hrs of church, holding a TR, etc).
It is harder to start making it your own religion instead of just obeying everything. But you can’t help it…you don’t see it the same way anymore and you don’t see it black and white.
The challenge, I think…is to not just start seeing everything the church teaches as not necessary. Start seeing you can let go of it all and be fine.
I think the 3rd point from Bruce Lee is an important one…adding to it. Not just picking apart all the rules…but starting to learn how to add to things yourself…this is me…this is my religion…this is what I want others to know about me, and it is OK if I’m different.
That is harder.
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