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So I wonder how others deal with what I’m experiencing. About a year ago I was called into the bishopric in my ward. I love my bishop – he’s a very humble man, and the other counsellor as well. I even like the calling – it’s a good chance to actually help some people. Here’s my issue, though: I am so damn busy on Sundays that it’s almost impossible to enjoy any of the Sunday meetings. We have bishopric mtg 2 hrs before Sac mtg begins. Then, for reasons that are too long to list I end up conducting about 70% of the time during Sac mtg, so I can’t just sit back and enjoy it. Sunday School is always a blur of interviews, callings, releasings, etc. Priesthood is another blur of poking my head into YM, YW, Primary, etc. to spread the love. Then we count tithing, etc., and then slink home, exhausted. Grab some dinner, and then about 40% of Sundays we’ve got some fireside, BYC, musical production, etc. to attend. By 10 pm Sunday I can’t imagine where the day went. Like I said, I enjoy serving others and believe that’s the primary benefit of even having “The Church” – to give us opportunities to serve. Just wondering how I can possibly wring some spiritual uplift out of that schedule. Been there. Have you talked to you Bishop and the other councilor about you delimma? I would recommend that you be up front with both of them and tell them you are getting a little burned out or tired or unfulfill or whatever you are currently experiencing. It really is important that you take care of yourself and your family. If you need to skip a meeting or activity it won’t be the end of the world or the church wouldn’t fall apart. It’s great that you are serving and that you enjoy serving other. It nice to hear that other see the value of service and can put other’s needs a head of their own at times. Remember to let others serve you too. About 15-220 years back Elder Packer attended our stake conference to give us a new Stake President. When he spoke he warned of this sort of excessive meetings and said something that realy stuck with me (in a good way…I am not really a packer kind of guy usually) He said (trying to remember exactly):
“Remember, the church can survive with dysfunctional stakes
The church can survive with Dysfunctional wards
The Church will not survive with Dysfunctional Families”
So, wether your leaders are understanding or not…keep your priorities straight.
Job 1: You need to be spiritually healthy to handle your 2nd job – Partnering with your wife to lead and care for your family
All other jobs get time after you handle 1 and 2.
Kumahito, I feel your pain. Sundays for me are literally more busy than a regular work day. Just this week my 6 year old taught himself to ride a bike because neither me nor my wife spent the time to teach him. I felt terrible when I found out. One thing that helps me is a set, unalterable time for date night with my wife. For me that’s Saturday night and with few exceptions I say “no” to things that require Saturday night time. People understand that when I say, sorry it’s date night. This is my favorite time of the eeek
My $0.02. I hope it helps.
One more thing that I want to point out separately. My family and I have changed what we do on the Sabbath day. We still don’t do things that make others work, but we go swimming (pool in the back yard), hiking, picnicing, and bike-riding on the afternoons we do have together. Going to the park and throwing the football is a common activity. I don’t hide it and others have commented on my family swimming but I tell them it builds more family unity than sitting in front of the TV. This all has the added benefit of me being less likely of having a ‘big’ calling the next time around.
Thank you all for the thoughts. I’m not at a critical stage right now, but I’m trying to head that off and keep some balance. Roadrunner, I can’t imagine having this job for 4 years – luckily I’ve got a built-in out in 2015, so they’ll have no choice but to release me. Thanks for the advice. I have been very open about the fact that EVERYONE in the ward, even the top leaders, are supposed to attend Sunday School and either PH or RS. Interviews and other things are not supposed to be conducted during other meetings. Thus, I attend Sunday School as the default and don’t attend only as the true exception. I’ve held firm to that rule, and it has made a big difference over the years. I know that means they need to be conducted at other times, but prior to church usually can work – or during the youth activities during the week – or during PPI times – or some other time when you can kill two stones with one bird.
Old-Timer wrote:I have been very open about the fact that EVERYONE in the ward, even the top leaders, are supposed to attend Sunday School and either PH or RS. Interviews and other things are not supposed to be conducted during other meetings. Thus, I attend Sunday School as the default and don’t attend only as the true exception. I’ve held firm to that rule, and it has made a big difference over the years.
I know that means they need to be conducted at other times, but prior to church usually can work – or during the youth activities during the week – or during PPI times – or some other time when you can kill two stones with one bird.
I respectfully disagree with the above but I see the point. Attending a well taught Sunday School lesson can be uplifting for the soul and also shows support for the teachers and programs of the church.
johnh wrote:About 15-220 years back Elder Packer attended our stake conference to give us a new Stake President. When he spoke he warned of this sort of excessive meetings and said something that realy stuck with me (in a good way…I am not really a packer kind of guy usually)
He said (trying to remember exactly):
“Remember, the church can survive with dysfunctional stakes
The church can survive with Dysfunctional wards
The Church will not survive with Dysfunctional Families”
So, wether your leaders are understanding or not…keep your priorities straight.
Job 1: You need to be spiritually healthy to handle your 2nd job – Partnering with your wife to lead and care for your family
All other jobs get time after you handle 1 and 2.
Love this!!!!
Roadrunner, of course there are exceptions and situations that require they be handled during Sunday School and the 3rd hour – but that is not the rule of the Church. Ward leaders are supposed to attend as many of their own learning meetings as possible, even if that number varies from week to week and ward to ward. I don’t have ANY problem with leaders taking care of business that must be done at specific times during those times, but I’m saying it shouldn’t be the rule – the default – for them to miss Sunday School and PH / RS each and every week. It’s not the way the Church itself teaches leaders to schedule their time.
Old-Timer wrote:Ward leaders are supposed to attend as many of their own learning meetings as possible, even if that number varies from week to week and ward to ward…
… It’s not the way the Church itself teaches leaders to schedule their time.
It seems that if a leader is struggling with time, delegation, or other challenges that telling them to attend Sunday School isn’t helpful. The rule for me is sometimes to do what it takes to maintain sanity and a healthy family, if it means having to skip meetings. There are other meetings that bishopric members are supposed to attend that don’t add much value in my opinion or that are more of nice to do if possible. I was recently trained to have premeetings to train YM about how the meeting itself should go. I just don’t think that doing it the church’s way is always the best way.
Spend time with the youth, get to know them, understand their frustrations. Visit the widows and the sick. Call every primary kid on their birthday for 60 seconds on your way home from work to say happy birthday. Hike with the scouts. Know the name of everuone in the ward. But for heavens sake don’t feel guilty about skipping Sunday school every single Sunday if its a better use of time. Skip the occasional bishopric training where you will talk about food storage. Tell the pack master he/she can plan the next pack meeting without you even though you should attend. Don’t think twice about skipping monthly roundtables or the Easter weekend overnight scout training even though they are required. Spend the week with the family on vacation instead of at Woodbadge training.
Climbing down from the soapbox. I don’t really intend to take this out on Ray. I just feel very strongly that leaders should do what makes sense for them.
For a separate thread, if it were up to me I’d make church two hours and skip Sunday School. I get what I need in Priesthood and Sacrament and my kids get enough in YM/YW and primary and 5 hours of seminary per week plus 1.5 hours every Wed night.
Whew!
Amen my brother! Do I hear Amen? Amen! Especially to the two hour church! I have been asking for this for years…I have always disliked Sunday school as an adult. was good a youth Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I727 using Tapatalk 2
2 hour church! 2 hour church! 2 hour church! I had to speak at church on Mothers Day, and one of my employees was visiting, separated from her own kids that day. We had invited her to brunch after church, and I would have really enjoyed inviting her to sacrament meeting. I think she wanted somerhing to do. But a 3 hour commitment? She would have felt obligated to stay and then as if she were being held hostage. It would have ended up a negative.
Quote:The rule for me is sometimes to do what it takes to maintain sanity and a healthy family, if it means having to skip meetings. There are other meetings that bishopric members are supposed to attend that don’t add much value in my opinion or that are more of nice to do if possible.
I agree totally.
I’m not suggesting attending every single meeting possible, and I and my family have skipped lots of meetings and gatherings that others consider to be important or even mandatory over the years. I’m not talking about being hyper-active in the Church; I’m talking about prioritizing some meetings and eliminating, consolidating or shortening so many others. I’m talking about good, better, best – and we ought to be eliminating so much of what we do that is good (and, in too many cases, not even good) for things that are better.
In terms of our meetings, I think Sunday School actually can be a better thing, at least, and even a best thing, in some wards. I know I don’t want the teenagers in my ward to miss the Sunday School class I teach, and I don’t want our leadership to miss the Gospel Doctrine class being taught by a wonderful teacher. I understand that experiences in different wards and branches vary in quality and impact, so I understand it’s much easier for me to say that in a ward in which Sunday School instruction generally is excellent, but that’s an issue that needs to be considered, imo. Seriously, eliminating Sunday School for many members would eliminate the only chance they have to “study the Gospel with the Saints” – and that opportunity to learn from each other is important to me, especially when it comes to new converts and the youth.
I hear a lot of people complain that the Church doesn’t do enough to teach everything it could possibly teach about the scriptures and its own history and that it needs to do a better job of inoculating the youth, but eliminating Sunday School
literally would reduce the available time significantly to do that. For new converts and youth who are the only members in the families and have no support at home, that’s a very significant change – and not a good one, imo.
I understand that callings can get in the way of life in negative ways, but I’m saying eliminating the only meeting in the Church that is designed as a communal study opportunity for adults isn’t the way I would approach the issue. I would eliminate so many others things, instead – and, ironically, Elder Packer and Elder Holland, of all people, have said the same thing numerous times over the years. (and they’re not the only ones)
Since time commitment is one of my major issues with the church I wanted to express my views on making/missing meetings. About Sunday School, for some it may be insignificant but for others, myself for sure, it is invaluable. This is because I was inactive from the age of 14 thru 35 and I not only have a lot to learn about the Gospel and scriptures but about how individuals in the church, men and women together, think as well. Sunday School is where I get that and where a path can be worn over the years for scripture and doctrine familiarity. I have not been able to attend Priesthood for a couple of years because I am YM counselor. Three hour block is tough but wouldn’t be so tough if it didn’t so often turn into six. Add to that, church is seldom the place where we can come to find peace of mind. It is bustling and busy with interviews, rushing to and preparing for meetings, checking out materials and CD players in the library, socializing in hallways mixed with 20 minutes each hour of Gospel instruction.
Doesn’t matter how you arrange time or prioritize meetings and family, if we need to double up or miss meetings to make another there is too much that is being asked. I was told by our (now) current bishop that once you get to the bishopric level or stake leadership level, not to mention GA, your family must make sacrifices that include your time. No way around it. I see many who have no problem with that and that’s fine. There are also many I hear now that I am in my current calling who quietly chastise others for not accepting callings making it necessary for others to fill in. Bottom line is there is too much demand on our time as active members, at least that’s how I feel personally.
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