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I just want to open a thread among only us about CandleLight25 and the implications for us here when someone is FAR less than open about their situation. I don’t mean this to be about “blame” in any way whatsoever, but I do think we ought to talk about it, at least. I understand the reasoning he gave, both prior to his mission and afterward (and I also understand why he didn’t share the full story with us publicly), but I also understand that the advice we gave prior to his mission was “tainted” in a very real way by not knowing such a HUGE part of the story. I also have some questions about how honest he’s being with us still – some serious questions, frankly.
At the most fundamental level, I just want to get everyone else’s input on anything we can do in situations like this (people talking about serving a mission, missionaries commenting, people like JeffWalshGen who don’t really fit in at all, people who seem to have serious emotional issues, etc) – situations that might ping our radars, so to speak, and be trickier than they appear automatically.
I’m wondering if perhaps we need to so some more active private screening of initial requests to become active commenters, perhaps asking each person to introduce themselves to the admins and moderators prior to commenting or posting anything at first. I’m wondering if perhaps we need to add some kind of official disclaimer / qualifier / whatever that displays prominently that this community functions best when everyone is open and honest with everyone else and/or that any advice or comfort we give only can be as effective as fullness of the information that is shared.
Maybe that’s over-the-top and unnecessary (and an immediate reaction to my disappointment over this particular situation). I don’t know, but I wish deeply that we had known even a little bit more about CandleLight25’s actual situation than we did – and I’d appreciate input for all of you.
I also wonder how honest he is being, I don’t know how we can tell, all we have are the words we can read. He seems to appreciate being able to post and get advice. I feel we are doing good by supporting him, and others, who may not trust us enough to be completely open and forthright at first.
Personally, I don’t know if we can do much more than try to screen the registration, monitor and watch out for trolls, and make sure the posts don’t violate rules. But aninimty is one tool that was helpful for me in my crisis, but there is a risk with it also that some can use it to exaggerate or even outright lie, and I don’t know if we can have one without the other.
He sounds like he is trying to work through a very tough situation, and if it is accurate and real, he is sure to fumble along the way. I can be more tolerant of someone like that which prompts such loving and supportive responses from the forum, much more so than I can tolerate Jeff Walsh and his tone.
Aroo? He really threw a curve ball there. Is he for real or is he using a made up persona and situation to make a point? I am scratching my head on this one. Having said that, I was friends with 3 elders in my mission who were gay. One came out while on his mission and left the mission to be with his boyfriend, a member in one of the small branches on an outlying island. 32 members in that branch reneged on their membership in support of them. He was there and sometimes came to church with his boyfriend when I was serving in that branch. There were only 2 members who came after that. The other 2 elders I was friends with who were gay did not come out until years after being home. I’m still friends with them. They both completed their missions and while they are clearly not practicing LDS, they are believing LDS.
Everyone’s got a different story.
Just so everyone knows, GB Smith just sent me the following PM: Quote:RE: CandleLight25. Is it just me or does this not sound even remotely like a 19 year old kid? Just wondering.
Bruce Smith (GB)
Frankly, I had similar concerns before I got GB’s message, so I searched Facebook for the e-mail address he provided. That e-mail address connects to an account that shows a teenage boy and (I assume) his mother, but it is a by-invitation only site, so I couldn’t see anything else about him. The picture looks stereotypically Mormon, fwiw – so I think he probably is what he claims and is just very intelligent and articulate.
Thanks for checking into it Ray.
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