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I wasn’t sure where to put this discussion. It could of easily been posted on “Book & Media Review”. My Wife & I just watched the movie: “On the basis of sex”. It is the story of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. (What a classy Lady.) I highly recommend it.
It’s all about change. Change in our nation, change in the laws, change in how we look at roles men vs women, etc.
Over the past few weeks or months, we have seen a number of changes as a result of a world pandemic. The changes include:
– General Conference.
– Sacrament Meetings.
– Education.
– Work & Social Contacts.
– Health. (to name a few.)
In our personal lives we experience changes too:
– Join the church & conform to church beliefs & doctrine.
– Conversion to Jesus Christ & try to become more spiritual.
– Conform to civil laws & avoid legal problems.
– Go to school or learn a trade & contribute to society & earn a living.
– Got married, had children and raised them to be moral, loving & productive people.
– Make mistakes & change our behavior to conform or avoid problems.
– There maybe others.
As I go through the lists, I believe that we are either conforming (to an organization or society) or changing our life (our beliefs,
behavior or core being). Both are important depending on the topic at hand. I personally want to address: changes within my life
or core being. I’m curious what changes you’ve made in your life that you consider are the most important to date.
Before I tell you mine, I would like to hear yours. Think about it & give us your thoughts.
I’m going to limit my life changes to (3) for now. I may add to it later. To start I have to give you some background: I joined the church as an adult, in college.
Here are my major changes:
– As a juvenile, I got into a lot of trouble. My life had taken a big left turn & if I wouldn’t of changed, I would of gone to reform
school or adult prison. When I decided I didn’t want to go that direction more positive things happened in my life.
– I started to become more religious (Methodist) & spiritual. I began to explore & question, what does it mean to be a
follower of Jesus Christ? In the process I joined the LDS church.
– I got married after college & we had children. Big changes happen when you have children. My children are adults, through
college, married & have children of their own. In the process, I’ve discovered that my children have become close personal
friends. They help me face & solve some of the decisions I need to make in life. (Big surprise.)
What I’m discovering is: the major changes in my life are not related to church doctrine, going to the temple, wearing garments,
or if I drink coffee (to name a few). They may help in different ways but real change comes from inside us as we explore life.
In many respects, life has been a huge surprise. Your list may & should be different based on your life experiences.
This may all sound silly to some of you.
I’ve noticed as looked back, today life has been constant change. I thought after returning from a mission that I was on the enduring to the end portion and would be there for the remainder of my life. Spiritually I’ve noticed that I had many main faith evolution points/moments. Joining the church, fasting, mission, getting married, having children, and then I felt like i was on a plateau for a very long time. Moments like the start of another faith evolution chapter, when looking back I was forced out of a spiritual comfort zone. Whether or not to serve a mission was one. My faith evolved through it. For a long time there were no instigators to challenge my faith or make me shift. Or I ignored them.
Long winded and rambling a little, but my three would be
I remember praying in my room as a teenager, the first time I had prayed. I had found on of these small ‘born again’ flyer/booklets about how to give your life to Christ. I started praying and felt something start to grow within me, it was not anything I have ever felt before or since, and at the time it scared me.
The death of my sister, which was the impetuous for joining the church, and taking life more seriously.
Whether or not to serve a mission which was more of a wrestle spiritually. But there was peace at the end.
Not just getting married, but the process of feeling towards another nothing I had ever felt for one person before. Making a family, and the birth of my children.
Driving on the freeway, realizing that I may not be able to trust my spiritual decision making… and the changes that followed.
More than three but these are a few of the highlights.
For me, I believe that the decision to serve a mission and the sense of purpose/confidence it gave me is perhaps my first big change. I think I had a very strong idea of being able control my destiny. I made lists of positive traits that I wanted to develop. I made lists of traits that I wanted or did not want in a future spouse. It was a positive motivational change for a young person to have. The organization provided me with lifegoals and a network of likeminded individuals.
I got married and started a family with this same “master of my destiny” mindset.
The stillbirth of our third child really threw me for a loop. It made me confront random chance and luck square in the eye. I did not have as much control as I thought I did. This was the second major change in my worldview.
I’m going to bring this up again. I’m curious, as a result of listening to (or participating) in the April ’20 Conference, what changes have occurred in your life? your personal beliefs?, your commitment to the Church?
They can be positive changes or negative. Before I tell you mine, I want to preference my remarks.
I’m old. I have fewer days in front of me than all of you , I’m sure. I don’t want to waste or squander a moment.
I did that too much of that in the past during my FC (faith crisis) period.
Below are the changes I want to make in my life as a result of General Conference. Yours will probably be different.
1. Live a more Christ (not Church) centered life. Read the scriptures more. Find ways to pray.
2. Participate at Church when I can & when I can’t, say no.
3. Develop closer relationships with my family & friends. Those that spout Church doctrine before trying to understand my opinion or
beliefs are not my friends.
4. Determine if I really want or need a Temple Recommend. Or, participate in other administrative functions as tithing settlement.
5. Look to church leadership as men & women who are trying to do their best to fulfill their callings in life. They are not anymore
entitled to God’s inspiration than anyone else. They are not entitled to special consideration or holy adoration.
6. Forgive more. Get angry less. (This one is going to be difficult especially the angry part.)
During this period of the Corona virus & the shelter in place orders, I am more aware of the need for real leadership on all levels of
our life. The one I have come to realize that really matters is Jesus Christ. I hope that I am prepared on the day of judgement. A lot
changes need occur in my life before I can do that. The days are getting shorter.
ps. And don’t forget to vote!
It’s hard to enumerate things that have changed me. Nearly everything in my life has. Births, deaths, unions, separations, feeling hopeless, finding hope. A part of my faith journey was adapting to accept that there are things about me that I wish were different but will probably never change. It’s helped me to learn to forgive people’s natures in addition to forgiving individual indiscretions.
I had an issue come up this past week that reminded me of this post. I had to get a new computer this past week. It was 10 yrs old & I use it all the time.
Over the yrs, I’ve been able to keep it running. Any problems along the way I could fix them on my own.
When I bought the computer, it came with Windows7. Over the years & a series of upgrades, I had Windows10.
My theory is with so many updates in a 10 yrs period, it became less responsive & slow to operate.
Maybe it’s by design or we won’t buy another computer & software.
It was so gradual, I didn’t realize it until it just refused to go any further.
Can that happen with our spiritual growth too? The answer is obvious: yes it can & often does.
Maybe it’s by design too.
(aka The Parable of the Computer)
Nice parable MM, Perhaps we patch and upgrade the software more and more until it becomes incompatible with the operating system.
I sometimes feel like the version of Mormonism that I live in my head is incompatible with the version that is taught from the pulpit and this results in conflict and system crashes.
Perhaps the hardware does not meet the requirements to run the new update so we get stuck running and older version that no longer has support.
There are some of the older generation that are firmly entrenched on ideas that birth control and interracial marriage are sins. They are running an older version of church teachings that is now obsolete and no longer supported by the manufacturer.
😆 Then there’s the really unorthodox people like me who wipe the operating system and install Linux instead 😆 I find it often gives old, slow computers a second life.Seriously though, many people don’t even know this option exists, thinking they’re stuck with choosing between Microsoft and Apple and accepting updates that slow everything down. Or they think their computer is broken when a change of software could make it run like new. Maybe when we’re unhappy with our options at church we’re missing out on some way to do things that’s lesser known but works just fine. Maybe when we think our religious life is broken we really need to install a lighter-weight operating system that doesn’t overload our resources. It may take a little more effort to set things up, but it gives you the freedom to do things your own way.
I should of talked to you sooner. There is so much I don’t know or understand. Knowledge about computers & software is just a couple. I guess I felt lucky & satisfied that it lasted 10 yrs before it died.
Minyan Man wrote:
As I go through the lists, I believe that we are either conforming (to an organization or society) or changing our life (our beliefs,behavior or core being). Both are important depending on the topic at hand. I personally want to address: changes within my life
or core being. I’m curious what changes you’ve made in your life that you consider are the most important to date.
Intro – It was harder to define 1 season of life, 1 event, or 1 process that really changed me, but I tried.
Life Changing Event– When I was 15-16 years old, I babysat my younger siblings a lot (including my 7 year old sister who had had several heart surgeries at that point). One night I was in charge of giving her her nightly meds as part of the bedtime routine – and I accidently gave her an overdose. She was at the hospital within 15 minutes and it turned out fine. However, I have never gotten over the sobering impact this decision had on my life – though I cannot define a specific instance where it was a deciding factor later on. Moving Cross-Country as the sole breadwinner without family in the area, no ready employment and pregnant– I can do great things! NOTE: When I look back at it now, I shudder thinking about what I didn’t see and the many ways it could have failed. At the time, I attributed it to faith in God’s plan for us. Now, I look at it as myactions making it happen through belief in God and that it was part of the plan – I don’t know that it was or wasn’t. Accepting an Asperger’s Autism description for myself and my daughter– learning more about some traits biologically wired into us and common ways they play out in life has been super helpful in helping us identify ways to have more fulfilling lives. I have also grown into being a better communicator, case manager, and advocate. It was also the catalyst for my faith transition. Working Through Pathways Program and a faith transition at the same time – and then ditching it all to attend a different online school entirely.I had a hard time believing that I could go back to school to get my degree with my family situation, but I graduated last week with my B.S. degree:) I older I get, the more interesting this life of mine becomes. I have a fantasy, that at our final judgement (whatever that is), Jesus will say: “Didn’t I tell
that your experiences on earth were going to be interesting?”
My answer will be: yes it was interesting & some of them I never want to experience again, Thank you.
There is an upside to the worse experiences we had. That is empathy.
Some of the most rewarding experiences I’ve had is to say to someone: I know exactly what you are saying or
experiencing. In the process you may make a connection.
Amy said:
AmyJ wrote:
… It was harder to define 1 season of life, 1 event, or 1 process that really changed me, but I tried.Life Changing Event– When I was 15-16 years old, I babysat my younger siblings a lot (including my 7 year old sister who had had several heart surgeries at that point). One night I was in charge of giving her her nightly meds as part of the bedtime routine – and I accidently gave her an overdose. She was at the hospital within 15 minutes and it turned out fine. However, I have never gotten over the sobering impact this decision had on my life – though I cannot define a specific instance where it was a deciding factor later on. Moving Cross-Country as the sole breadwinner without family in the area, ready employment and pregnant– I can do great things! NOTE: When I look back at it now, I shudder thinking about what I didn’t see and the many ways it could have failed. At the time, I attributed it to faith in God’s plan for us. Now, I look at it as myactions making it happen through belief in God and that it was part of the plan – I don’t know that it was or wasn’t. Accepting an Asperger’s Autism description for myself and my daughter– learning more about some traits biologically wired into us and common ways they play out in life has been super helpful in helping us identify ways to have more fulfilling lives. I have also grown into being a better communicator, case manager, and advocate. It was also the catalyst for my faith transition. Working Through Pathways Program and a faith transition at the same time – and then ditching it all to attend a different online school entirely.I had a hard time believing that I could go back to school to get my degree with my family situation, but I graduated last week with my B.S. degree:)
Thank you.
AmyJ wrote:
When I look back at it now, I shudder thinking about what I didn’t see and the many ways it could have failed. At the time, I attributed it to faith in God’s plan for us. Now, I look at it asmyactions making it happen through belief in God and that it was part of the plan – I don’t know that it was or wasn’t.
A homeschool class I have been working on with my kids refers to the concept of the self-fulfilling prophecy. There are many facets to this but one big one is achieving something because you believe that you can. In the church I think that we would call this faith.It reminds me of a talk given (by GBH?) in my youth about self reliance and the pitfalls of debt. It described a man that owned a car dealership with many shiny cars on the lot. The man’s aged father asked his son with concern what would happen if the economy softened and the cars could not be sold. How quickly would the debt owed (by the dealership to the manufacturer) on those unsold cars drag the dealership into bankruptcy? The son rebuffed his dad’s concern and the father realized that his son never lived through the great depression and has no concept of austerity measures.
The story was told as a cautionary tale on avoiding debt but it could just as easily been told as a faith promoting tale.
The son has faith that the economy will continue and he decides to act in faith. It could be said that he plants a seed in faith (and by taking on debt) believing that he will be there to enjoy a bounteous harvest.
It is certainly fascinating how the same situation can mean different things and lead to different life lessons depending on the lens we use to interpret it.
P.S. Amy, Congratulations on your degree! That too is a journey of sacrifice and faith!
Thinking about this thread reminded me of how much is changing in my life right now. I’m young, single, not quite “menace to society” but getting there, and in the middle of the so-called “quarter-life crisis.” Everything I was and believed is now changing. My mission was a major turning point. Up to that point I was the one who always trusted the system and followed the rules. Then I discovered how dangerous it can be to blindly follow the system. And I learned I need to stand up for myself and solve my own problems. I went from being the obedient, unquestioning, loyal follower to somewhat of a rebel.
Since then, I’ve been in a stage of disillusionment towards many things in life. The mission was not the best two years. The church is not the one true church I thought it was. America is not really the perfect bastion of freedom and shining city on a hill I was taught about as a child. College is not a sure ticket to a stable career and paycheck.
All of my beliefs and my very identity are constantly changing. I’m gaining new experiences and moving on from old ones. I’ve often thought about change in relation to the “Ship of Theseus” thought experiment. What does it mean to be me? As I gain new experiences and beliefs and leave behind the old ones, am I still the same person? What happens when all of the old me is gone and has been replaced?
There are changes that have come to me in a very short period of time. These have been the hardest to accept or understand. Examples of quick or least anticipated (for me) are:
– a phone calls at 3am. Someone is sick or dying.
– a meeting with your boss to announce your layoff or firing.
– a call from your Doctor to come in for a talk regarding your last set of lab tests.
– a wife (or husband) that announces they want a divorce or separation with no prior warning.
All of these have occurred to me personally or to family or close friends. This type is the hardest to accept.
Since I joined the church, I’ve tried my best to be “faithful”. In the process, I developed certain expectations.
They include:
– God would protect me & my family physically & spiritually.
– If God didn’t protect us, He would answer our prayers.
– If He didn’t answer our prayers, He would give us peace or understanding why it occurred.
– If He didn’t give me peace or understanding, He would provide the Leadership of my Ward or Stake to give me understanding.
As I look at my life I see that this view or expectation is very arrogant.
To work through my FC has taken a lot of time. My view of the church & the gospel has changed considerably.
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