Charity Envieth Not: Epic Fail This Week

[Anonymous]

I don’t have any profound thought about charity envying not from my week – other than that it’s a really hard standard to learn and practice fully. I have to admit I failed miserably this week wtih at least one situation, and I’m still trying to accept everything, let it go and not dwell negatively on it. What I will pass on is simple and probably obvious, but it’s what struck me today as I took time to reflect on the experience in light of my New Year’s Resolution focus this month:

It’s really hard to be charitable and “envy not” when you accept responsibility for your own mistakes and watch others not do so for theirs – especially when their mistakes get blamed on you.

I have fought the frustration that accompanies such situations all week. I have admitted and accepted my own incorrect actions, but I have struggled to not “envy” someone else’s situation – since I am paying for both my own error and those of the other person. Not only did I naturally want to trade places to some degree (envying the other’s lack of accountability), but I also naturally found myself fighting feelings of hoping the other person was exposed for not being willing to admit and accept what was done to influence my situation.

I am coming to the conclusion that the only way I can let go of this and put it totally behind me, knowing the overall issue will not change, is to try to be charitable in my view of others, not have unrealistic expectations (not expect more of someone than they are able to do, just as I hope others don’t hold me to an unrealistic standard) and realize that, in the end, I am as much to blame as anyone else.

In one way, at least, my focus (my resolution) this month helped – since it forced me to be more directly aware of my emotional reaction and gave me a way to work immediately on fighting my natural reaction. In another way, however, it reiterated a great, core principle of the Gospel of Jesus Christ – that every single one of us is a sinner and needs to be redeemed, even those of us who are striving with all our might to become more Christ-like each and every day. In that arena, at least, I am no better than anyone else – even those toward whom I struggle to exercise charity and whom I strive to envy not.

For that reminder, I am grateful.

[Anonymous]

Dear Ray,

You have helped us all out many times. Now here’s our chance to help you. I’m tired and I don’t have any spiritual advice at the moment, but here is the best I can do:

I’m sending you an “electronic stress kit”. Contents:

1) full box of twinkies – minus one(because I ate it). If you do anything rash that ends in your arrest, you will always be able to use the famous “Twinkie Defense”.

Directions: eat one twinkie every hour until the box is gone

2) Preprinted, ready-to-use suicide notes. All you have to do is check the box(s) that apply

I am doing this because my of

my girlfriend drove me to it

my wife drove me to it

my ex-wife drove me it

my WIVES drove me to it

Here’s hoping that this “spiritual” advice helps.

[Anonymous]

Ray, in moments like that, a thought that often has been very helpful to me (but may be non-transferrable) is “That person God may very well be me. I God may very well be that person.” That presupposes some borderland extracurricular metaphysical possibilities (divine incarnation, multiple mortal opportunities, and even concurrent mortal opportunities), but I accept those possibilities, and so it works for me and gives new meaning to the concepts of unity and atonement.

[Author]

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