Home Page Forums Spiritual Stuff Charity Seeketh Not Her Own: Those Who Hate You

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  • #205027
    Anonymous
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    Thus far this month, I have focused on charity not seeking her own in the sense of being willing to serve others rather than pursue her own desires. I discussed the ultimate example of this by examining the statement of Jesus that says, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

    I want to shift gears slightly and discuss seeking not her own in light of a passage in the Sermon on the Mount – and discuss a paradox when considering that passage and two common statements quoted often in the LDS Church.

    The first passage is Matthew 5:43-47, which says:

    Quote:

    Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?

    This passage talks about loving, blessing and praying for enemies – and those aspects are quoted and discussed often in the Church. However, the part that is not quoted or discussed nearly as much is the part that tells us to “do good to them that hate you”.

    There is an important distinction between the first category and the second command. Loving, blessing and praying for are things that can be done alone, away from those in question – those who are enemies, those who curse you, those who hate you and those who misuse and persecute you. Doing good to someone is different; it cannot be done alone. It must be done WITH those who you would avoid naturally. In other words, you must interact with others to do good to them.

    This flies in the face of two other common statements:

    Quote:

    Be in the world, but not of the world.

    Quote:

    Abstain from all appearance of evil.

    The first quote (which, by the way, is not scriptural as quoted) generally is used as a justification to avoid sinners. My only point is that all of us are sinners, so this usage, in practical terms, is to avoid sinners who are different than we are. Obviously, this has particular application to those who curse, hate, despitefully use and persecute.

    The second quote is perhaps one of the most misunderstood scriptures in the entire Bible. In its original usage, it does not mean to avoid anything that even looks like evil – that appears to be evil. Rather, it means something like the following:

    Quote:

    Abstain from evil no matter its appearance – no matter how it looks.

    I bring this up specifically because I have heard it used to justify all kinds of things that keep us from doing good to our enemies – and even to those who are nowhere near our enemies. The focus is not on avoiding anything that someone else might perceive to be bad, but rather to avoid that which truly is evil.

    If I am a Home Teacher, and if one of the people I Home Teach is only “available” when he is in a bar, should I go into that bar to visit him? If a woman is walking home in the pouring rain and I have the ability to help her, should I refuse to do so simply because someone might see me and jump to an incorrect conclusion? If someone has misused me in some way, should I refuse to interact further with him? Can I really be in the world and not “appear” sometimes to be “of” the world – doing good to my enemies if I never interact physically with them?

    In conclusion, I believe that if we are to internalize charity fully, at some point we must be willing to step out of our comfort zones and interact directly, in some way, with those who fight us, curse us, despitefully use us and persecute us. We can’t become truly charitable in isolation, and we can’t become truly charitable through only an intellectual understanding of it. At some point, we simply must LIVE it.

    #230923
    Anonymous
    Guest

    In the interest of full disclosure, one of the reasons my mind took me in this direction this weekend was a blow-up in which I was involved over on Mormon Matters. Someone who has been taking shots at me for a long, long time did it again, and I swung back at him. Contemplating why I did that started the thought process that led to this post.

    I’m not a “master” at this stuff – or I wouldn’t need to use it as my New Year’s Resolution focus this year. Last week simply proved that I “understand” more than I “live” – and I really want to change that little by little.

    #230924
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Yeah, that kind of got ugly over there. FWIW I was rooting for you :D . It was nice to see you and some other folks stand up for us at StayLDS. Actually, I certainly would not have been as polite as you were — especially after hearing these comments thrown at me.

    Quote:

    …Some of the people leave the path and roam about the foothills finding pleasure there; others continue climbing, drawn by the beautiful vistas before them and the promise of greater opportunity promised in the book.

    The mountain represents the Kingdom of God with its various rewards based on individual commitment. The greater rewards require an ever increasing climb.

    The book of instruction is none other than the Book of Mormon.

    …—leaves me with one answer regarding this post, and I’ll use the Lord’s own words to answer it: And he has translated the book, even that part which I have commanded him, and as your Lord and your God liveth it is true. D&C 17:6

    Makes me want to puke just rereading the post.

    #230925
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I also find it humorous Ray, that over there you are the “apostate liberal” and over here you are the faithful ” conservative”. Location, location location. 😆

    #230926
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Actually, cwald, at MM I am both a conservative, church mouthpiece AND an apostate liberal – depending on who is doing the describing. That’s just what happens when you don’t fit a black-and-white, extreme position on either side.

    #230927
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Remembering Thumper’s mother’s advice and that sticks and stones etc. usually works pretty well to keep things in balance. The other is to remember that when others are spitefully using you and persecuting you, they’re probably not really. I really like the edit function. Too bad there’s not one in real life.

    #230928
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Old-Timer wrote:

    In conclusion, I believe that if we are to internalize charity fully, at some point we must be willing to step out of our comfort zones and interact directly, in some way, with those who fight us, curse us, despitefully use us and persecute us. We can’t become truly charitable in isolation, and we can’t become truly charitable through only an intellectual understanding of it.

    This is particularly timely for me. As I mentioned in another post last week, I, too, like Ray, had a blow up situation but with my in-laws, though I didn’t react. I disengaged and am now facing the exact point of this thread: interacting directly and charitably with those who hate me and despise me. That’s hard for me to write and even harder to internalize as I’ve spent so much of my adult life earnestly seeking to love and be loved by all those who know me. Obviously, I’ve taken a break from any contact with them for a time but fully recognize that this interaction is in my undefined future. And, I hope to be able to approach it with charity.

    This is the ultimate test of charity and, frankly, the ultimate test of emotional health. In the TBM world, family becomes such an integral part of faith, belief, image, worthiness, worth, etc. that there seems to be nothing as powerful. Knowing this, I feel that I can approach the situation with a level of empathy and understanding that must preclude charity. Unfortunately, I’m not going to be pursuing this for some time so I won’t have any immediate insight about the process but I’ll try to check in as it begins to unfold.

    Thanks again Ray for these insights. They’re greatly appreciated and meaningful at so many levels.

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