- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
nibbler wrote:
I think it’s saying that if a youth ever has a problem they will feel comfortable with taking it to an ecclesiastical leader. It makes more sense in the context of a parent/child relationship than it does in a neighbor with a temporary mantle/child relationship.
Yeah, it was weird as the statement was phrased. If a my kids are needing to “establish a trusting relationship with a priesthood holder” then that priesthood holder should be me.In trying to keep an open mind and figure out what the church leadership could possibly intend by this. I wonder if they are thinking of setting habits early. If the children are already accustomed to regular visits with the bishop long before they have anything really “major” to repent from then maybe the bishops office will seem less daunting, punitive, and authoritarian.
I have shared before how my own 13 year old daughter (who is YW class president) has declined to be interviewed by the bishop. She has elected not to go on temple trips rather than submit to this. Ultimately, my wife convinced her to go with DW present. DD has nothing to repent from – she just doesn’t want to be interigated about her beliefs and behaviors. I wonder if the church is contemplating to start kids out at younger ages to make the youth interviews less intimidating as they age … to take the edge off.
Quote:I wonder if the church is contemplating to start kids out at younger ages to make the youth interviews less intimidating as they age … to take the edge off.
The kid in me would have been scared even more. Too much stress.
mom3 wrote:
Quote:I wonder if the church is contemplating to start kids out at younger ages to make the youth interviews less intimidating as they age … to take the edge off.
The kid in me would have been scared even more. Too much stress.
Me too. I got scared talking to the guidance counselor, who incidentally was supposed to be building a relationship of trust. I never trusted her nor her pervert colleague.
Why have they introduced this at the back of a campaign to get rid of interviews for older children? Is it the church being contrary again? This would be a terrible, terrible idea. As with other things, let’s keep this in the home. That’s where it belongs. Not with a random, untrained, but generally well-intentioned male neighbor.
I never once have shared a worthiness issue with a member of our clergy. I have done a disservice to my children by allowing them to participate in such things. I have allowed my children to be governed by guilt and shame. My heart hurts that I may be too late. I’m going to discuss this with my wife and see if we can get on the same page, so that this practice will stop. At least within my family.
My bishop is a good man. He wears the mantel of bishop well with grace, humility, and the desire to do good. That said, I do not want him conducting worthiness interviews with my children.
Not a fan. Not at all. Rumin8 wrote:
I never once have shared a worthiness issue with a member of our clergy. I have done a disservice to my children by allowing them to participate in such things. I have allowed my children to be governed by guilt and shame. My heart hurts that I may be too late. I’m going to discuss this with my wife and see if we can get on the same page, so that this practice will stop. At least within my family.My bishop is a good man. He wears the mantel of bishop well with grace, humility, and the desire to do good. That said, I do not want him conducting worthiness interviews with my children.
Excellent point, and I feel similarly. My daughter, especially, has been seriously affected by this and it is at least in part my fault for allowing it to happen. It is something that I have found very difficult to “fix” after the fact and I am sincerely sorry about that.
My bishop is also a good man. I spend a fair amount of time avoiding him, especially in social situations (like ward parties). Maybe because of that I was unaware of some things that he says sometimes that a friend of mine finds fairly sketchy. My kids are grown now and not under his influence, and the ones that were in only a slight way are male. FWIW, he never asked them about masturbation, including in missionary interviews. That said, the guy who was bishop when my daughter was in her crucial teen years was not a great man at all and was a poor excuse for a bishop or any other kind of church leader. She also had a very bad experience with a BYU bishop. To be fair, she also had a great experience with a different BYU bishop – but it wasn’t enough.
Assuming this policy change goes through, is anyone notgoing to let their child go through the interview alone? I could be wrong but I didn’t see anyone say “no with my “child”.
I would not allow it if I had kids that age. I am not going to let my daughter be interviewed alone either. Part of it is this thread, and part of it is that my daughter is not always great at having conversations that convey meaningful information with people she barely knows. I am also going to push for an informal family visit like HT was instead of an “interview”.
My husband, younger daughter, and I were in the same room when my oldest daughter was interviewed for her baptism interview. It was quasi-awkward at times, but my husband was able to clarify what my daughter was saying in terms of answers to the questions several times.
My son is now 11. When he was about to turn 8, I had asked about being present for the baptismal interview and the bishop discouraged it as irregular. I did not want to push the issue as my primary goal was for the bishop to allow me to perform the ordinance. I do not think anything inappropriate happened but the bishop did report that my son laid down on the floor and would only give one word, yes or no answers. I imagine that if I were present, I could have helped facilitate and mediate communication styles. Minyan Man wrote:
Assuming this policy change goes through, is anyonenotgoing to let their child go through the interview alone? I could be wrong but I didn’t see anyone say “no with my “child”.
Both of my children are now in the YM & YW programs and therefore may have periodic interviews. The church policy is now that parents are allowed in the interviews if they wish. DW or I will be present in any further worthiness interviews involving our children while they are still minors.
I was present in my son’s priesthood interview and DW was present in DD’s recent limited use temple recommend interview.
This would be a terrible idea! Thankfully our bishop asked my husband and I to be in the room for my daughter’s baptism interview. Kind, spiritual, and well-intentioned man that he is, he had absolutely no idea how to talk to an 8 year old. She looked to me for translations of almost everything he said to her. I can’t imagine how an interview would go or what kind of well-intentioned but non-age appropriate answers she might get if she had to ask him for clarification! Nope. Even with a spiritual giant of a bishop, one on one interviews with my kids would be a no go for me.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.