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I’ve started attending the local Unity church which is very much in-line with my thinking and reasoning. After taking a nap, there was a knock on the door. A few members of the church that have been fellowshipping my sons showed up to “visit”. It was the usual visit, “How are you doing? We missed you at church” and so forth. Then came the sneaky, would you mind if we shared a little something with you. So of course we allowed it. Anyhow, I still have those feelings of wanting to go and be with the group that I’ve grown up with, but how am I going to manage two churches. I like them both and what I don’t get in the one, I get in the other and vice versa. I could attend services from 9am to 1am. That would allow me to attend the Unity services, Metaphysical bible study, Sacrament, Sunday School and then Relief Society. That’s a lot of church. Does anyone else juggle two churches or more church meetings or activities? I really don’t want to give up the Unity to be a good standing member with the LDS church and I have to attend sacrament to have a temple recommend. I don’t have any experience with juggling churches, but I say give it a try and see how it goes! Welcome to the forum!
A few considerations: 1. If you have two Churches, you’ll have two sets of demands on your time. I think you have to decide if you can handle that.
2. If you have kids, then two Churches will confuse the heck out of them. It’s hard enough when you’re a kid. Personally I think it’s better to give them one philosophy to get the most spirituality out of, so they don’t reject religion in general, or have fleeting commitment to different religions the rest of their life. Get the personal spirituality lessons and orientation out of one religion which represents their springboard. They can choose for themselves when they get older, but at least give them a stable foundation in one philosophy. If kids are even part of your mix.
3. In life in general, I’ve found it’s better to commit to one thing and give it your all (as much as you can give) than to be straddling two horses at the same time.
4. There may be implications for your LDS membership if you join another Church and the LDS Church knows about it. I’d check online and see if you can find the CHI (the first one, there are two, one for SP’s and BP’s and another for Ward leaders) to get the actual wording.
5. If you decide to go to two Churches, decide your major one and your minor one. Let the minor one know what your commitment is to it — that it’s purely social and for Sunday only, for example.
The way the church counts a member as being “active,” I think, is if they attend at least once a month. Ray? Ray can answer this more authoritatively. So what I am getting at is this: Instead of trying to attend both church every week, you could switch off every other week (unless you really like attending that much church on a Sunday, which is fine). If you are there 50% of the time, that would qualify you as “active” in the LDS Church, at least as far as how they count people in the pews.
You might need to be careful about actually joining another church. The new CHI has guidance on this, and it is possible grounds for excommunication I believe (it wasn’t before). The chance of that actually happening depends on your local leadership, I would think. Just something to consider.
You could just attend the other Church for social reasons, however, and not join. It frustrates the heck out of the leaders in the other Church (I surmise) but that is another alternative. Brian Johnston wrote:
You might need to be careful about actually joining another church. The new CHI has guidance on this, and it is possible grounds for excommunication I believe (it wasn’t before). The chance of that actually happening depends on your local leadership, I would think. Just something to consider.What counts as joining BTW?
SamBee wrote:Brian Johnston wrote:What counts as joining BTW?
Meeting the requirements of the other Church for membership, I would surmise. This will vary — some will require baptism, others will recognize prior baptisms and have a meeting to affirm your commitment to the new Church, etcetera.
1) You will be considered active, officially for the stats that are kept, if you attend once a month. You might not preceived to be active by your local membership, but you will be considered to active by “The Church”. 2) “The Church” will count you as joining another church if you are baptized into that church or if you ask that your membership record be cancelled because you have joined another church. Some wards have extrememly aggressive people who want to encourage people to have their names removed from the church rolls, but “The Church” doesn’t encourage that. I think that’s a good thing, personally. Don’t excommunicate unless it’s desired AND initiated by the person.
3) Do what many investigators or non-member spouses do. Alternate – either equally or once a month at one and the rest of the time at the other one.
I might actually end up doing that alternating thing later this year. My wife and kids don’t attend. DW and one of my sons expressed some interest in looking for an alternate church when we move (to make friends and be social). That’s actually a pretty big step for my mostly-atheist DW. If she finds a church she is comfortable at, enough so she wants to attend on some regular basis, I would want to support her and go with her sometimes. Brian Johnston wrote:I might actually end up doing that alternating thing later this year. My wife and kids don’t attend. DW and one of my sons expressed some interest in looking for an alternate church when we move (to make friends and be social). That’s actually a pretty big step for my mostly-atheist DW. If she finds a church she is comfortable at, enough so she wants to attend on some regular basis, I would want to support her and go with her sometimes.
What place would the LDS Church have in your life if that happens?
SilentDawning wrote:2. If you have kids, then two Churches will confuse the heck out of them.
I’m not sure I agree with this. (The alternate weeks idea proposed by the others makes the dual church thing a lot more workable, but nobody has responded really to your concern about the kiddies.) Personally, I think that a two churches family might be more healthy for kids than a one-church family. Monopoly of source has always been a concern for me. I’m not comfortable with keeping kids away from friends, away from cousins, or away from other adults. And by extension, I’m not comfortable with the idea of keeping them away from a variety of faithful expression. Some confusion may result, but as Ray can attest, that’s going to happen anyway when the kids see the inconsistencies in their culture. I think having a diversity of cultures as a reference can be a stabilizing and reassuring thing.
SamBee wrote:Brian Johnston wrote:
What counts as joining BTW?It’s just a meeting as far as I know right now. I haven’t heard of any baptisms. It’s a church where all religious faiths are welcome so I don’t believe it’s much more than that.
SilentDawning wrote:A few considerations:
2. If you have kids, then two Churches will confuse the heck out of them. It’s hard enough when you’re a kid. Personally I think it’s better to give them one philosophy to get the most spirituality out of, so they don’t reject religion in general, or have fleeting commitment to different religions the rest of their life. Get the personal spirituality lessons and orientation out of one religion which represents their springboard. They can choose for themselves when they get older, but at least give them a stable foundation in one philosophy. If kids are even part of your mix.
I have raised my children free souls to choose a religion of their choice or to not choose at all. After a certain age, I did not force or coerce them to do anything they didn’t want to in regards to religion. When the youth directors from the church visit or ask them to go to a function, it is their choice. If they say yes out of guilt or pressure then they will have to learn to do otherwise.
SilentDawning wrote:Brian Johnston wrote:
What place would the LDS Church have in your life if that happens?I don’t know. I’m so conflicted as to staying or going mostly because the ‘What If’ factor. You know the one where you do this.. What if I choose the wrong church? What if I make a mistake? What if it is the right church and I’m just being stubborn? What if it’s like the prophecy said that in the last days even the elect will be led astray? What if i’m one of those people? and on and on…
I’ve had some of the same experiences in other settings that I’ve had while being in the LDS church so it gets very confusing.
For instance:
This past Sunday, it felt as though the talks were geared directly toward my current situation-Like they were talking to me. I’ve had that happen in the LDS church.
The speaker told of how she felt she was teaching a topic that was needed by her the most at that time. I’ve heard that by speakers in the LDS church.
These two things alone made it seem like I was supposed to be there which leads me to believe that God works through every religion for the good of all people. That where people are on their spiritual path is exactly where they are supposed to be or what’s perfect for their situation and it’s not some miracle extended only to mormons.
Yet still in the back of mind, there’s that fear of letting go to what has been ingrained my cell structure. Then again I’ve been told that fear is of the devil. Ack!!!
SilentDawning wrote:What place would the LDS Church have in your life if that happens?
I’m looking at it in more of a relative cost / benefit perspective. I would rather members of my family engage in some form of religious and spiritual pursuit than nothing at all. I guess I don’t perceive the possibility of sometimes attending another church with my family as some great disconnection or rejection of Mormonism.
There are a great many split-faith families out there. They make it work all the time. It’s actually quite normal.
It would be nifty if God waved a magic wand and the world turned into the perfect ideal, a reality modeled after vision through rose-colored glasses. Since this being doesn’t seem to be doing that for me, i’m gonna have to wing it the best I can.
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