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AP, great post. I think people naturally just put boxes around people without even realizing it. I’m in the same boat as you, similar to what DJ was describing. My wife has never enjoyed cooking or child care. I do 95% of the cooking, and the kids usually groan when my wife cooks. I also do my daughter’s hair on a regular basis, and have fun sitting with her in the evening looking up YouTube videos of how to do different hairstyles, so she can pick one that we’ll do for her the next morning. My daughter and I also have a standing date every Sunday afternoon to cook some kind of dessert, which we then deliver to two or three people in the ward or neighborhood. People always assume that my wife made it, and that my wife does my daughter’s hair. So, my daughter and I make the deliveries, and then my wife gets a text about how much they enjoyed the dessert. And, my wife never corrects them and tells them that I made it, or that I did my daughter’s hair. She worries that people will think she’s not doing ‘her job’ if she’s not the one doing the cooking and childcare. Having people put a box around you with their expectations is definitely annoying. But, it sounds like you’ve got a crowd waiting for your recipe now!! 
Can I send you my address for a Sunday desert? [emoji3] LookingHard wrote:Can I send you my address for a Sunday desert? [emoji3]
Ha! We typically deliver as soon as the dessert comes out of the oven, while it’s still warm. Your batch may be a little on the cool side if you’re not in the immediate Las Vegas area!😆 Holy Cow wrote:And, my wife never corrects them and tells them that I made it, or that I did my daughter’s hair. She worries that people will think she’s not doing ‘her job’ if she’s not the one doing the cooking and childcare.
Bummer! Maybe she’ll get comfortable down the road. Then other women will tell their “secrets,” too. Good all around.Holy Cow wrote:She worries that people will think she’s not doing ‘her job’ if she’s not the one doing the cooking and childcare.
My wife majored in finance and accounting. She is now a stay at home Mom and does our budget and taxes. She feels guilty that she does not know how to can. I do not see this as being a particularly useful skill with our lifestyle. She still feels like she “should” know how to do it as part of “her job.”
Roy: I know how to can. In our neck of the woods, it is cheaper to buy canned goods when they go on sale. Tell your wife that canning is highly over-rated. If she still feel inferior for not canning, she can take a Saturday and learn how. She can then go buy bulk canned goods guilt-free — like the rest of us.
After following this post I realized I am so stubborn, if something is culturally vogue, I decidedly don’t get involved. I don’t can. My husband does.
I don’t sew. Never could, never will.
Started piano after I turned 50. And I do it only for me.
I never owned a glue gun, did crafts, embossed, baked or anything.
With all that I was a SAHM. I loved it.
I was also a team member of a Fortune 500 company.
I reveled the juxtaposition of wearing Nordstrom clothes, driving a car direct from the factory, and being a Mormon. –
I am just one defiant snob.
Mom3: I had a mom who (literally) dragged me out of my tree fort and made me learn household skills. As an adult, it is nice to have the option to decide whether I want to do something or hire it out. I know how to do a lot .. But that doesn’t mean I choose to do those things all the time.
Gut the bathroom? I’m your girl. WeaselGirl sounds like she is into that too. I just like to know how to do stuff .. But none of it is “my identity”. You know how there is always that one sister in the ward who is “the quilter”. Another is “the crafter”. One is “the musical one”.
It makes my skin itch when someone wants to attach a label.
Team member of a Fortune 500 Corp??? — That’s an excellent label. You go girl!
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