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Here is the email that I sent him. Hi Bishop,
Thank you for the conversation on Sunday. You had asked me how you and your counselors could make people/me more welcome at church. I first wanted to state that I have never felt unwelcome at church, including while I have been in 2nd ward. I thought I would just list out some ideas/comments.
1. I do not want to be a project. I want to be treated just the same as I always have been. I don’t want Brother _________ who has never said more than two words to me to start hunting me down.
2. I have heard what members say about people who don’t go to church. Comments usually range from “People only leave because they were offended, lazy or wanted to sin”- to ” People who leave will burn in Hell”- my mother-in-law. I’ve heard many comments similar to these while teaching the Book of Mormon. I think it would be welcoming of the bishopric to try to curb this kind of of talk. Why would inactive members want to come back and associate with people who talk so negatively about them?
Perhaps more conversation could be similar to a great quote from Pres. Uchtdorf- “Sometimes we assume it is because they have been offended or lazy or sinful. Actually, it is not that simple. In fact, there is not just one reason that applies to the variety of situations. Some of our dear members struggle for years with the question whether they should separate themselves from the Church. In this Church that honors personal agency so strongly, that was restored by a young man who asked questions and sought answers, we respect those who honestly search for truth.”
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/come-join-with-us?lang=eng&_r=1 3. Let people relate to the church at their own speed. Meet them where they are at, and respect their beliefs. Don’t push them to go faster than what they are ready to go.
4. You can make a purposeful effort to have talks & lessons that validate open mindedness & a big tent.
5. You can speak up in meetings in defense of questions & doubters.
6. You can have a Sunday school class that has more open discussion for those who need it without scaring people who are not ready to go there. Maybe by using the church essays on lds.com as the curriculum.
For a church that teaches its people to be honest and to be willing to stand up for what they believe, there is literally no set up to express doubts and concerns.
7. I expressed doubt in Elder’s Quorum a while back, and one brother who recently moved away said, ” Why would anyone even come to church if they don’t believe?” -Talk like this needs to disappear.
8. Have meet and greets for people to get to know each other — so they don’t just show up for church and that’s it.
9. Do, as well as encourage other to do, service outside of systemized service. It feels more genuine when someone takes an interest in you outside of church obligations.
Ultimately, however, my problems with church come from higher up than the local ward. Thank you for respecting my decision.
Take care,
dtrom
And this was his response. Hi dtrom,
Thank you very much for your email! There are some wonderful ideas and thoughts for us to improve. Do you mind if I share these ideas with others? I will leave your name out if you would like for me to. Also, wanted to let you know that I felt impressed yesterday to challenge all of the ward to read the entire Book of Mormon between now and the end of the year. If you read around 5 pages a day, you can finish the Book of Mormon by the end of 2016. Just wanted to invite you and DW to join us, as well.
Let me know if you have other thoughts and ideas. Thank you!
Sincerely,
Bishop (He actually used his real name with no title)
He sounds like a really good man – like so many Bishops around the world. Old Timer wrote:He sounds like a really good man – like so many Bishops around the world.
Agreed. He probably can’t make everything “right” in the church, but he can take the steps you suggest and improve things in your ward. That is a good thing.I would sent him the following link and ask him to read it.
http://rationalfaiths.com/you-belong/http://rationalfaiths.com/you-belong/” class=”bbcode_url”> The following is my $0.02, if this were my bishop – I would try to find some kind of commitment to read some of the BOM. My thinking is this. He seems to be willing to try and make the ward a better place for those that are not TBM’s. That is a good thing, but the proof is in the pudding (the doing). I think he will continue longer to put more effort into implementing some of what you have said. I wouldn’t be dishonest, but I would try to meet him part of the way in hopes that he would be doing the same. I would do something that I even felt was useless for me if I thought it would help others. If you don’t feel you could do that, then don’t – and don’t feel guilty for not doing so. I am just saying what I would be willing to do and why.
I agree your bishop sounds like a good man and it appears he is trying. I’s share this link with him too – it’s got lots of cred because the guy is a bishop: http://religionnews.com/2016/09/09/what-one-bishop-offers-mormons-who-dont-know-the-church-is-true/ ” class=”bbcode_url”> http://religionnews.com/2016/09/09/what-one-bishop-offers-mormons-who-dont-know-the-church-is-true/ This is a good topic. I’m starting to understand why it’s so hard for many members and leaders alike to get past certain black-and-white thinking because the church often teaches that going to church is about making covenants, so the Lord truly appreciates fully committed members, not barely committed members. Although great ideal, but often too messy in reality. My bishop is a great man, who I grew up around. I believe he means well and does the best he can. Unfortunately, with too many of the issues you all mentioned, he comes back to black-and-white teachings. Sigh. Ilovechrist77 wrote:My bishop is a great man, who I grew up around. I believe he means well and does the best he can. Unfortunately, with too many of the issues you all mentioned, he comes back to black-and-white teachings. Sigh.
My bishop also is a great man. He can readily agree that we members in the church too often erroneously expect temporal blessings in exchange for our church service. This was and is the heart of my FC. However when I pointed out in a recent church publication where it says God will bless us spiritually and temporally for our tithes, he backpedaled and said that God CAN bless us. I could have misunderstood the gospel and had unrealistic expectations. The membership around me might misunderstand the gospel and have unrealistic expectations. But that a church publication might propagate this misunderstanding of the gospel and breed unrealistic expectations was just a thought bridge that he, as my bishop, was unable to cross with me.
I agree, Roy. Church publications can easily do that.
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