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I am facing a situation where I am subject to considerable injustice. It’s akin to being convicted of something you did not do (It’s not legal or anything, I am simply drawing an analogy with a wrongly convicted person, subject to a sentence and suffering for something of which he is not guilty). If I try to clear my name, it will only reinforce the thing of which I’m accused. Kind of like when you try to defend yourself against an accusation and people say “Sure, sure”.
So, proceeding on the premise there has been injustice, and therefore, undeserved suffering, how do you cope with injustice as the person who was wronged? I am not at peace about the injustice, in fact, losing sleep over it.
Christ had injustice, but his was unusual. He had a paradox of a mission — live a perfect life, but get convicted at the same time so he could atone for the sins of the world. So, his in justice had a noble purpose. Mine does not.
This is simply a mistake. Can you describe some coping strategies? I cannot clear the injustice. I will have to live with it. I am not finding strength in Christ’s example. Most of all, I just want peace as I learn to live with this.
Oh that I knew the answer, SD, as I have been trying to deal with this for many a year. An injustice was a major factor in my crisis of faith. Hopefully some of our friends here will have good responses. This much I do know: God does not seem interested in righting most of these injustices, at least not now. What is sad, is that when you try to right the injustice, the world often does not care. The world does not care about your justice. There is a presumption that people are guilty if charged — particularly when the indictment is by someone who has all the power (judge, jury, executioner). And that attempts to clear one’s name are attempts to avoid responsibility for their alleged actions. One lawyer said that even if a person is acquitted of a crime, they can count on having their reputation ruined. One has to learn to forgive people for what they did. But here are some coping strategies (writing this post has helped me unearth these ideas from my years or reading and thinking).
1. I know that forgiveness is part of the coping mechanism. You may not be able to change the injustice, or the natural penalty. But you can lessen the self-inflicted suffering that comes from not forgiving.
2. So, I know there is a forgiveness part to it. There is also a “message nullification” part to it. When unjustly accused and conflicted, it’s easy to adopt the penalty and label you get as a result of your own actions. To blame yourself, or to adopt a self-image that is consistent with the erroneous judgment. It as if the hurtful arrow is wrapped in a nasty message.
One must exert oneself mentally to make sure you don’t adopt the label — that damages one’s self-esteem. This is another source of suffering that the unjustly convicted person can control.
3. Another strategy is to act in ways that are in direct contrast to the wrongful conviction. For example, if you are accused of being unkind, expand your kind tendencies to the point anyone who meets you can’t believe you could ever be considered unkind.
I am only brainstorming here — other ideas are welcome.
I went through a divorce many moons ago and my ex-wife got the kids and lied through her teeth to them and most everyone else but with time and living my life differently then she said most people came around in time and my kids really found out most of the truth. It is never perfect and it hurts but trying to fight the lies and pointing to the real reason only made me a smaller person in almost everyone’s eyes. It took me a few years to learn that and as soon as I agreed to not discuss the issues, things got better and in the end I think I have been justified. It is hard to say without knowing all the details. Here’s one thing to consider: forgiving does not equal right. So when we forgive, some tend to think that we also mean the actions were ok. Most often they were not. But we need to forgive none the less, for our self. Well I am sorry I am so late responding but thought I would comment. What Silentdawning said is right. No one cares about injustice done to you. I don’t know if that is right though. I wonder if others could stick up for you or help you? I am not sure what is happening to you exactly but I have learned a few things from some kind of injustice in the past. I hope that maybe you can take something good from what is happening and learn from it. Also, maybe you can help others going thru the same thing or that might be having problems in the church and let them know they are not alone. What I learned is.. -No one and no person can take the spirit from me or try to tell me that I don’t have the spirit.
-I have learned not to ever judge others
-Learned to have more boundaries and to be careful what I tell other people
-I have learned who at church is judgmental (and many didn’t even know me or talk to me much) and who at church is nice and not judgmental. Now I know the nice ones are good friends
-I learned when you go to a bishop to repent and because you feel sorry he may not help you at all or care except to punish you (now I know for future reference)
Also, you have to remember that God knows all and sees all to act justly. I just don’t think bishops and other people know enough sometimes or even when they do they can still choose to act wrongly. Is there a way you can be honest and upfront in a loving way and tell others what they are doing is wrong?
Even though we can’t control what happens or what others think about us we can control our reaction and our feelings. It is very hard though sometimes and I still feel angry sometimes myself about what has happened to me.
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