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We recently had a leadership council style discussion on dealing with those who are struggling or those who might be in faith crisis. Here are some of the bullet points of the discussion (which I thought was very good considering the number of orthodox leaders present): Be a friend
“I don’t know why” is acceptable
Listen, don’t argue or tell them they’re wrong
Don’t try to solve the problem
Don’t judge
Focus on the core, foundational doctrines of the Gospel
Prayerfully read Pres. Uchtdorf’s October 2013 General Conference Talk “Come, Join With Us.”
Units could consider how to promote non-judgmental responses in class, quorums, and interviews
Express sympathy – “I’m sorry this is happening to you”
Ensure that individuals feel needed/wanted
Help people feel comfortable expressing questions and doubts
Encourage a culture that understands that questions are normal and part of building faith
People can fall away when they stop feeling that they belong; help them feel that they belong
Recognize that all phases of building faith are important: desire to believe, hope, and know (see Alma 32; see also “Tasting the Light” by Elder Lynn G. Robbins, Young Adult Worldwide Devotional, May 3, 2015)
Help foster a culture devoid of judgment
Embrace those who are struggling with doubts; they belong
Ensure that we teach and focus on the core doctrines in all our meetings avoiding teaching culture and life’s antidotes over gospel principles and testimony
Help individuals put what they don’t know in context of what they do know
Excellent. Glad to hear. I just had a good lesson given in my priesthood class talking about how when people ask questions we should be careful to worry more about not offending them (making them feel they are not welcome) than making sure we correct their (allegedly) incorrect statement. It was good. I saw several members tell the teacher they liked the lesson. A good day today. DJ – Your little corner of the world gives me hope. Help them find ways of being involved, and serving, that don’t make them confront their doubts or require them to be inauthentic in their beliefs. That is a big one for me. It will help them feel part of the community, without necessarily having the same belief system. SD – That is a great one. I like these suggestions. I was sitting in Church yesterday thinking about my ward and the range of beliefs that must be present. And yet, even with those varying degrees of commitment and faith, we can still sit together and worship…each in our own way. I look forward to the day when such differences can be openly acknowledged, discussed, and even supported (as appropriate). Discussions like the one DJ describes are a step in the right direction. I don’t foresee another council discussion like this in the near future, but if we have one I’ll bring that up, SD. Some of these were my own input – I’m sure you all picked out Uchtdorf! 
Gerald someone did mention that there were probably far more that don’t believe everything than we know and that they probably keep it to themselves. It didn’t make it into the notes.
Reading this just made me do a Happy Dance I think these are absolutely excellent ideas. I guess I am just struggling with the disconnect that comes between talk and action. If these notes were given in my ward council, I don’t think anyone would disagree. When it comes to actually not judging, actually not trying to solve the problem, actually allowing a place for those with struggles and doubts… I’m not quite as optimistic. Then again, maybe that’s me being judgmental. Interestingly, NTM, that was part of the discussion – a stark realization that we’re not really going to change the culture. I’m glad that you were able to have that discussion. I feel like this has come up in our stake a lot, and yesterday in HPG we discussed Sister Wixom’s talk. There were a few of us monopolizing the conversation but it basically came down to, got to love people, can’t judge them, and people will need space to process, there’s not a whole lot that we can do.
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