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Agree Ray…with all that. It is frustrating being cast in inaccurate light. But it just doesn’t matter, frankly. NOM is what it is.
Can I start a thread called “NOM refugee thread”?
:lolno: …I would never.Yeah, that is the real irony. How would the people at NOM react, including cwald, if one of us started that thread over there – with the explicit statement that we were recruiting people there to join us if they were sick of the negativity and wanted a place that actually tried to stick to its stated mission? Part of me would love to see it happen, just to see the response – but then that child in me goes to sleep or sees the light and walks away.
I actually think they would love it, and all join in on the food fight just to throw stuff because it is fun, regardless what it is about. It’s just stupid to do it. So we won’t.
I just wanted to say hi to cwald on the board so he’d know I was reading what he said…when people post anonymously, they sometimes feel they can twist a story any way to make it sound bad…until they realize someone who really knows how it happens in reality keeps them a little accountable.
But still…I don’t think it will matter. SBR’s response sends a message that not everyone is agreement with cwald. Anyone with a brain would know SBR is not the only one that thinks that.
Bottom line…some people want the mudslinging because that is their personality and want it. That is why there are different forums.
Not everyone loves you Ray, but you know that. I just think more people respect you than they do others who just bitch and moan. And I mean that sincerely
:wave: I am going to confess this has really upset me. Partly because I was mentioned by name, and I felt like he wrote it with a slant. I don’t mind being mentioned, like or dislike, but I felt like he used me as bait. I met he and his wife at a couple of events. He and my husband sometimes used to chat, especially when his family story was a big event. To me that put some implicit respect in our relationship – as of last night it’s gone. I am not trying to be a martyr or taking away from the Ray is getting (cause he’s even more popular) but the entire episode hurt. I am rather attached to our group here, our eccentricities and pain. I guess I feel like our group was violated. It may take awhile for me to process. Oh, dear. mom3 wrote:To me that put some implicit respect in our relationship – as of last night it’s gone. I am not trying to be a martyr or taking away from the Ray is getting (cause he’s even more popular) but the entire episode hurt. I am rather attached to our group here, our eccentricities and pain. I guess I feel like our group was violated. It may take awhile for me to process.
Give it time, mom3. I understand your feelings. He is making it out to say Ray is the puppet master and we are all the minions, and have no backbone to speak up but are all thinking the same as cwald. He is just angry and throwing a tantrum, as Ray depicted accurately, he is just confirming and validating Ray. Process it all through that. It is about him…not you or me or the others. And seeing SBR’s response…you can tell not everyone agrees with him.And I take it as a reminder to humbly remember I’m not right about everything I post here…I just share what I believe and think about, and others will never see it my way. It is what I post a lot about on the site…different points of view (hence, my prism avatar). So I can walk the talk of accepting others and realize they won’t see it like me. But that also doesn’t mean we allow people to violate the rules going against the mission of the site.
…but I understand, and it decreases the respect I have for him, regardless if he is pissed or not…it reveals something of his character.
We all know your character. Your contributions have been great. I learn from you lots, and am glad you and all the others are here.
I have been told that his latest statement is that I called NOM an anti-Mormon site, that I moderated my own comments and am not calling NOM anti-Mormon anymore. It takes a lot to get me mad, but distorting truth intentionally does it. I don’t know if he is doing that, but I (and we) have NEVER called NOM anti-Mormon here. All I said was that it is not a soft place for those looking for another site like StayLDS and that it has much more unmoderated venting and complaining.
I also wrote the post sharing the NOM link and stating explicitly that NOM is not an anti-site shortly BEFORE cwald said goodbye. I don’t know if he saw it then, but it wasn’t backtracking on anything I said. It simply was posting the info in an appropriate place and not in bear’s thread. I honestly thought cwald had seen it and that helped him say goodbye in a respectful way.
I don’t care about the pettiness of it all, but blatant distortions and untruths get to me.
I have no intention of posting there, even though I have an account from long ago. (I am positive cwald has no idea I used to participate there and, technically, have been registered there longer than he has.) If the moderation has changed since I left over its incessant negativity, I will admit I am wrong now – but distortions and twisted justifications are exactly what cwald comdemns most forcefully in others. I have had it with such blatant hypocrisy.
/end of vent
😳 Having said that, I feel like I am beating a dead horse and that I need to stop complaining about it here. I am going to let this go and hope I can stay away. Thank you, everyone, for your support. It means a lot to me.
I went ahead and went back to NOM a little today as a result of cwald’s post. I was pleasantly surprised that several were defending StayLDS, although another comment that intrigued me was that some said that they didn’t go to StayLDS as much because we are more academic or scholarly or something. Anyway, IMO that’s a good thing. I think cwald looks petty. Not to those who are bitter, but to those who know StayLDS. I do visit NOM from time to time but I rarely post, and I’m not going to post on that thread I’m just going to let it go (no singing of Frozen permitted, thanks). I agree Hawkgrrrl, I think cwald does look petty and some of the posters there look ignorant. When I visited last night there was some discussion of a “board war” but the thing is it’s pretty one sided – the only discussion we’ve had here is on this thread. Unless cwald intends to stage a long campaign against StayLDS, this will all blow over in a few days and I don’t see any harm done anyway. Like those who oppose the church, this could be a good thing for us in creating curiosity about what we do. I’m kind of bummed by the whole thing but I understand the reasoning. 
I’ve PM’ed cwald here a few times in the past just to show support. I PM’ed him over at NOM with the intent of maybe making the landing a little softer.
I’ve never received a reply from any of those. I guess we never made a connection. I don’t take it personally or anything. I may have come around after he was already beginning the process of shutting staylds out. That or my personality.
I think my personality is the challenge here. I took a Strength Finders test and class a couple of years ago (Gee I sound like SD here) and bridge building was a strength. In most of my life that’s what I try to do. When a bridge collapses, even if it’s someone else’s choice it’s hard for me. cwald, didn’t surprise me, I get his personality, what surprised me was how much I cared for him, his pain, and for us over here. I don’t think I realized how much my heart grows attached to our stories over here. I vent here, but more often I come here to learn, to see, to discover. I think watching him throw us under a bus after we had given hours online and privately to his pain touched a nerve of sorrow and ingratitude. Then I get super Momma Bear over here.
It’s been a good reflection. I take on too much in other’s lives. This will blow over, it probably already is. I just need to let it blow over me.
mom3, you’re a great bridge builder. Ray, I guess I could go back and comb through it all, but I don’t recall you evercharacterizing NOM as an “anti-Mormon” site. Ann wrote:mom3, you’re a great bridge builder. Ray, I guess I could go back and comb through it all, but I don’t recall you
evercharacterizing NOM as an “anti-Mormon” site. I don’t, either, nor do I remember anyone else here doing that. Cwald sure managed to fire them up with that, though, and I think that’s his intent. He really does seem to be very much like a disgruntled ex who wanted to be ex’ed – he can’t leave us alone, even though he’s out. Sooner or later he’ll run out of stuff (probably sooner) and they’ll stop playing his game at NOM. Since I am letting it go (OK, I’m trying to), I’m not going to look at the thread over there any more – but I will predict that it will soon be at the bottom of the page.
Fun times. A few quick cut/pastes from the NOM thread. Me:
Quote:1 – You’ve said StayLDS is a bad fit for you. Do you really want to be reinstated? If so, why? Don’t you disagree with the site mission?
2 – From what I can see, you weren’t banned. You quit and your profile was deleted as a result of your statement of quitting. Maybe that’s not how you see it, but it’s the sequence of events.
3 – You deliberately trashed the mods on our own site and then again here (well, maybe not everyone here, primarily Ray I guess). Even so, feelings are mixed because of your long-standing history in the forum and your contributions. I see you as part of the Overton Window we would like to maintain, but moving the ball forward on the topics is helpful rather than degenerating into personal squabbles.
cwald:
Quote:My biggest gripe is staylds culture has become an idol or splitting image of the church corporation… they talk and act just like it. Stop it. Here is a chance for someone to prove me wrong. Someone just be honest and disclose what happens behind those closed doors in the stayLDS corporate office building.
Hell’s bells.
Alas’s feelbads are clearly hurt as indicated in her remarks. Anyhoo . . .
One thing cwald says that does seem legit is that because his IP address is banned, jwald (his wife) can no longer see or post. Can we change that? cwald says (for now anyway) that he’s not asking to be reinstated. I do think it’s a loss, but he needs to get his head together if you ask me.
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