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My kids know I don’t wear garments. I am discrete as possible, but sometimes they walk in on me. Plus they see non-garment underclothing in the wash. I made the decision about a year ago not to wear them because I live in a hot climate and realized that after 30 years I was tired of them hanging below my shorts — my legs are shorter than average, and so they hang down and I look stupid. And you aren’t allowed to alter them, so…… My true feelings are that in my heart, I feel the church has extracted huge amounts of commitment and resources from me, but in dire times of need (an adoption, a release from a calling, support serving a mission), organizational interests have always prevailed — and the leaders have been crass about their delivery — uncaring is the best word. I personally feel that the church is about the church, and not about even its most dedicated members when they have legitimate needs and are serving wholeheartedly. Achieve dedication, and they take you for granted. That has been my experience, over and over again.
So, I started listening to my own clock about what I really felt about my church experience. Realized I don’t really enjoy the temple, and never really liked wearing garments, and tried regular underclothing once, and felt liberated. I don’t feel strongly about attending the temple at all.
The other day, my daughter came in to my room and said “Dad, why don’t you wear your garments?”. I put off the question and didn’t give an answer.
But I don’t want to discourage my daughter from pursuing the temple and the TBM way (she is TBM, and quite good at it, and fully engaging with the LDS experience). Her question brings the whole question of the temple, commitment and testimony to a head — and will have a big impact on the next generation.
How would you answer this question if you were in my position?
I would tell them the truth. I do not believe god cares what underwear I have on That is a tough question in some ways because you Covenanted to do so at one time and that makes it a little tricky to answer. I think that if you feel strongly about now wearing garments then I would be up front with her. I feel for you because I have no idea how I would respond. I feel the same way about many of the ” commandments” given by the church, like tithing, WoW and some others that I don’t know if I believe any more but am still trying to comply. Garments are not a big deal for me but just last night I bought some new shirts ( tee shirt) that are just more comfortable without garments and look strange with them. I wondered if I should just wear them without my Gs but I don’t know if I want to start down that slippery slop. I was simply thinking of telling her “my garments don’t fit me, and we are not allowed to alter them. After 30 years of them hanging below my reasonable-length shorts, I decided it was not reverent , dignified or practical to wear them. When sizes become available that fit me, I will wear them again”. I’m not sure if it’s a slippery slope, though….my commitment crisis stopped after making a few adjustments, and I am still “in” with the church in terms of attendance. And would probably serve in certain capacities if asked.
Truthfully. Having said that, I like your last answer.
I’ve thought (too much) about this. If someone told me that I was supposed to drive to church and take the sacrament three times a day, and that by doing so I was showing my commitment to God, I would say, “I don’t think so.” I don’t believe that that is how I would prove my devotion. It’s MY devotion, after all! There are other things in my life that make that an unreasonable demand. There are other things in my life that make wearing garments – 24/7, 365, rain or shine, hygiene/health/sexual/body image issues disregarded – unreasonable for me. I do value wearing them, but not above allother considerations. I have been pretty cautious about how I proceed in this area, but I am proceeding and finding some peace and balance. When I said that it might lead down a slippery slope I was think about keeping a TR. I liked iced tea a great deal as a kid and I have been wanting to drink it lately and if I do I think that I could justify it in my mind to still get a TR, like I have with other things that involves getting a TR. But if all the little things keeping adding up and I can see that happening then I wouldn’t want to even go to the TR interview. I might be OK without a TR but my wife wouldn’t like that and I am still hoping I can be part of the change I hope the church needs to make IMO. I think I can do more on the inside then the outside. Maybe that is only wishful thinking on my part. Quote:you Covenanted to do so at one time and that makes it a little tricky to answer.
Not correct. We do not covenant to wear the garment. You are instructed to wear it “throughout your life.” There is no specific covenant with it. Additionally, we are not specifically instructed to wear it “day and night,” just “throughout your life.” Not trying to get all technical, but the TR interview questions are not a direct match of what we are instructed, and nowhere did we covenant.
Personally, I like the concept of the garment. The reality of it sometimes falls short, but the concept totally works for me.
Hawkgrrrl, you are probably right but in the TR interview we are asked if we wear them day and night. Do I say that is not what we are instructed or answer the question? I don’t know the answer but I would like to hear what others have to say. I literally just had my TR interview on Sunday. The question as they read it said “day & night as instructed in the temple,” which isn’t accurate. My view? Most people focus on “day & night” but I distinctly heard “as instructed in the temple,” and my TR interview was actually a rather spiritual meeting. I was definitely feeling it. I DO wear them regularly, so I am fine to answer on both scores. I was glad to hear that they didn’t say “covenanted” which is not accurate, although “day & night” isn’t either. I would guess even Silent Dawning is OK on the actual temple instruction if he interprets “throughout your life” to mean periodically throughout your life. Weirdly, they didn’t read the garment instruction sheet this time (the one about yard work). Maybe that paper has been yanked. Anyone else do a recent TR interview?
Not me…haven’t had one in a while, so I don’t know if they still do the reading about the garment. When in the Bishopric, I always felt strange reading that. Sort of uncomfortable or wrong about it. As far as the slippery slope goes, I think most people know here that I have decided not to hold a TR for the time being but it didnt’ start with the garment… it was a conscious choice.
Also, if the wording is to wear it night and day, I suppose I comply because there are times I do wear it at night and during the day. Just not all nights and not all days. I’m sure that is not the interpretation the church uses, though.
Quote:I’m sure that is not the interpretation the church uses, though.
So?
I assume you are asking “Why does that matter?”. I suppose if they asked point blank if you wear garments continuously, and one responded truthfully — no, not continuously, simply at night now and then and during the day now and then, they would say you weren’t in compliance and withhold priviledges.
Do you see an ethical issue with saying one thing that you know people will interpret as “X”, when you really mean “Y” and you know they would disagree with “Y”? Or if you knew they would withold priviledges if you said interpretation “Y” explicitly?
Example, one of my supervisors at work asked me to take a new assignment at a new location. As part of the process he said “Your schedule can change”. This is always true, session to session, so I thought very little of it. But then, after I agreed, he slowly released what he meant over a period of a few days — he meant I would be teaching Saturdays from now until whenever (no end in sight). That is not the norm at our school, and clearly has some big liabilities associated with it. I may not have accepted the assignment had I know what he was really saying. I found that no only unethical, but untrustworthy and offensive behavior on is his part to steer me into that position on the basis of a watered down reference to what he REALLY meant..
So, I see a parallel there with answering the night and day question affirmatively on a watered down interpretation of that question– do you?
2 thoughts… 1) Ask questions to find out her concerns. “Why do you think I don’t wear garments? What do you think it means?” Her answers may range from idle curiosity to apostasy to divorce and alcoholism. This will give you a better idea of how to respond that better addresses her true concern.
2) This might be a perfect opportunity to teach “individual adaptation” and “according to the dictates of your conscience” spirituality and religious practice. Your particular body type may make wearing them all the time a burden – but you can sometimes put them on as a symbol of devotion (when attending church, temple, etc). Perhaps wearing them all the time makes them less special (like having your birthday everyday) and you are developing a personal meaning to when and where you wear the garment.
There are lots of personal interpretations with the garment. I know a good woman who hand washes them out of extra respect. I know some who never let them touch the ground. I have heard that some always put the right leg in first in imitation of the initiatory ceremony. Personal “ritual” and personal meaning can be a good thing.
Just to be sure, do you know about “short” garments?
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