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Gratefully, StayLDS fills a major need I have to study the gospel free from the @#$%^ shackles of the correlation committee and other similarly minded folks. For many years I have enjoyed teaching Gospel Principles class and the HP class, but that gig is over. Teaching has given me great satisfaction by allowing me the opportunity to share my understanding of the gospel. I still feel motivated to attend Sacrament Meeting, but primarily for the sake of the sacrament. During the talks, I try to find something worthwhile in what they say. If not I just space out. But for me Sunday School and Priesthood lessons are simplistic if not pedantic. I feel it is time wasted. Yet I feel a need to share the fellowship with believers. To complicate matters, I’m an introver, so my social skills are not a strength. I would like to hear what others at StayLDS do to survive the three hour block, or otherwise deal with the Pablum and still have a meaningful experience.
I don’t go. I go to Sacrament Meeting to be with my daughter, but I had to quite attending Priesthood and Sunday School a couple of years ago for the same reason you mention. I do like Sacrament meeting. If it is boring, I go to my tablet & read a little. For SS & PH, I try to connect with people I know are “like” minded.
The lessons are usually boring. I usually have very little to contribute.
I also like to greet investigators or members that haven’t been to church in a while.
I think one of the issues is that the lessons often give examples that are so far down either end of the moral spectrum that no one has to think about anything. The examples are obvious, do not provoke thought, and are nothing like you would face in the real world. If I’m teaching I try to give examples and ask questions to show how often “it’s not that simple.” That’s where the real discussion begins. If I’m not teaching sometimes class is something that I just need to endure. I’ll either be in a far away place or I might ask a question or give a comment along the lines of “That’s fine and dandy but in the real world it can be hard because of xyz” but softened up a bit of course.
I don’t like laying it at the feet of the teacher though. It’s a hard job and I’m sure that other people are just as bored and critical of my classes as I could be of theirs. It’s hard to teach a class that speaks to everyone. Besides, the material is often:
Cartoonishly evil example – everyone nods at how bad the people in the example behaved.
Cartoonishly good example – everyone nods at how good the people in the example behaved.
It’s really hard to make that interesting.
I like sacrament meeting (for the most part) also. If the speaker is getting too far out I just tune out and read scriptures or something else, or even sometimes look at StayLDS. I find myself doing less of that sort of stuff in SM than in other meetings. In my home ward I usually skip SS – there are a few more liberal members who do the same and we usually have a gab fest. In other wards I look to see of there are any such “lost sheep” and if there aren’t I eventually make my was to SS where I sit in the back and assess the situation. Again, I just tune out if it’s too much. If it’s moderate, I will make comments such as those Nibbler mentioned. I like to use “It is not that simple” as well and I also try to present another point of view whenever possible. An example of this would be last week during a discussion of Eli and his sons where the class in general (those that were mentally there) thought Eli didn’t do enough to reign in his sons. I offered that they were adults and had their agency, which also opened up a discussion about agency and how God will not interfere with it. I think priesthood is easier than SS, and I generally do go and participate to some degree, although I do have tune out moments as well. All of that said, I did go through a stage where I only went to sacrament meeting (I went through a very long stage where I didn’t go at all before that). If SM is all you can handle to keep your sanity, than so be it.
Oh, and thanks for expanding my vocabulary!
Thanks, everyone for your suggestions. It’s great to hear that I’m not alone with feelings of boredom, but have learned to cope. Please keep the ideas coming.
Quote:DarkJedi, you may also enjoy this word: milquetoast. (A word originating from a comic strip character in the 1920’s named Casper Milquetoast. The word has come to define someone unassertive and timid, easily dominated; extremely mild; ineffectual; namby-pamby; wishy-washy)
Remind you of any lessons taught by people with professional and church experience who should know better?My HP class was full of 50 & 60 something lifers who have been lawyers, successful business men, executive salesmen, RM’s, bishops, stake presidencies,and even a mission president, but all they want to discuss is what’s in the manual. They complained when I used anything other than manuals, scriptures, and conference addresses.
When I taught the HP, I frequently told them I had 3 objectives: I would consider the lesson a success if they could learn something new, be motivated to do something they know, and or feel inspired about the subject. I really tried to do that. No one complained to me, but they told the the HP leader they said they said they missed being able to discuss the lesson with their wives when I used supplemental material. Never did they question any doctrine presented. I always cited my sources.
If they really wanted the correlated stuff why not just read it at home with their DW? What’s wrong with expanding your understanding? Why do they need the support of the quorum to review the correlated lesson at home?
I just don’t understand.
I attend every meeting during the three-hour block, and the biggest reasons I do so are to spend time with people I genuinely love and like and to add my own unique instrument to the orchestra (to not leave the piccolos alone to dominate the sound). I love those piccolos, but they don’t represent accurately the full range of sound in a true orchestral performance – and I don’t attend church to listen to solo recitals. I’ve been at it long enough that I know how to do so, generally, without sounding like a kid learning to play the bagpipes (the very definition of Hell, btw) – but every once in a while my notes are jarring as a counter-melody / harmony to the dominant sound. I usually smile when I speak – and I never, ever raise my voice in anything sounding like anger. Sometimes my comments evoke further discussions; sometimes the conversation moves on without additional input about what I’ve said. That’s fine, since my objective is not to create a new, orthodox melody but simply to contribute to making a more full orchestral sound.
Also, it helps tremendously that I have the type of personality that doesn’t mind listening to things with which I disagree – or that it’s been an unavoidable and consciously-recognized part of my life since before I was baptized at eight. I’ve accepted that I am not a piccolo, but I also have embraced that my own saxophone is just as important. It also helps that I’ve been involved in music long enough to understand that contributing doesn’t mean being heard over the other instruments; rather, it simply means making sure each instrument / part can be heard – even if that is only as part of a rotation while other instruments rest briefly.
Frankly, sometimes I comment too much in classes – but I know if I don’t others who feel similarly generally won’t pick up the slack. They are more comfortable not speaking, and they know that I will speak for them.
Having said all of that, if someone isn’t as comfortable participating actively as I am, hand-held electronic devices can be wonderful.
Quote:I’ve been at it long enough that I know how to do so, generally, without sounding like a kid learning to play the bagpipes (the very definition of Hell, btw) – but every once in a while my notes are jarring as a counter-melody / harmony to the dominant sound. I usually smile when I speak – and I never, ever raise my voice in anything sounding like anger. Sometimes my comments evoke further discussions; sometimes the conversation moves on without additional input about what I’ve said. That’s fine, since my objective is not to create a new, orthodox melody but simply to contribute to making a more full orchestral sound.
Don’t suppose you offer lessons?Quote:Also, it helps tremendously that I have the type of personality that doesn’t mind listening to things with which I disagree
I don’t mind listening to the piccolos, but I get annoyed when they won’t let me play my xylophone.oops 😳 I go to sacrament and use it to read my kindle. A book seems to be a no-no, but a kindle seems more socially acceptable. I do listen to the good parts of the talks, but like you, I have an incredible problem with boredom. I go primarily to support my TBM wife and daughter. For Sunday School, I go if my wife isn’t on some kind of assignment, and again, read my kindle. Sometimes, I develop theses for the next paper I have to write, or the contents of a talk or lesson I must give in non-church context. I sometimes make up to do lists and also clean out my wallet discreetly.
During priesthood — that’ is tough. I used to go, but the priesthood manual and discussion is so scripted and unimaginative, I get very bored. Once, I tried to lighten things up by sharing something I had learned about personality theory, and all the old timers put their head down and stopped Listening. Since then, I go out to the car during priesthood, grab a fold up chair from the trunk, and read in a park next to the church building, I set my phone alarm that has me back in the building by the time my family emerges from their respective meetings.
I also try to play family trips regularly that take us away from church as a legitimate break. And I don’t expect anyone to go on Stake Conference and General Conference days, or holidays like Christmas Day if it falls on a Sunday.
I realize this problem is mine I have a severe problem with boredom. My mind must be active or I get really agitated and can barely sit still and so nothing — ever.
I attend the full block every week unless I am travelling (although even then I do sometimes unless I’m literally travelling on Sunday). I used to read my Kindle when the discussion made me want to perform an auto-lobotomy. Our bishop a few months ago asked that all members put their phones on airplane mode and only use their phones and iPads to follow along in lessons (e.g. as scriptures) so that we aren’t distracting others (including the teachers I suppose). This was hard advice at first, but I have found that I’m getting more out of it now that I follow that advice, and the ward is hearing me chime in a whole lot more with my unique perspectives, some of which are doubtless needed to add diversity. It’s been really good advice. I have five kids age 8 and under. So yeah. I don’t think I’ve heard more than 10% of a SM talk for several years. I go to SS with my wife. If the baby is fussy or noisy it’s always me who takes the baby out. It’s often a handy excuse. If not, I daydream about the novel I’m sometimes working on–running through potential scenes of dialogue, brainstorming plot ideas, and so forth. For a long time I skipped EQ, but recently I started going again. It’s extremely boring at times, but I don’t have a big problem with it. There’s always my novel to think about. Lately I’ve also gotten a kick out if pretending I’m an observing anthropologist. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Daeruin said: Quote:Lately I’ve also gotten a kick out if pretending I’m an observing anthropologist.
Love this!
😆 :clap: I must try this out today.We just got a new SS teacher. Today will be her first day and it should be interesting. She’s TBM, but open minded too and a very animated person. At the very least it won’t be boring. BTW, she’ll be gone next week and asked me to sub. I couldn’t think of a good excuse not to, so I am. Last time I subbed, it went pretty well. I use the institute teacher manuals to plan my lessons. The lessons have way more interesting material and they’re “approved” so no one can complain.
DH teaches youth SS, so I often find a way to ditch GD, but that might change with the new teacher. People usually think I’m subbing for someone or something when I’m not in class, so no one questions me. RS is much more tolerable because we have a few unconventional teachers and you never know what they’re going to say. We have some pretty lively discussions sometimes.
SM in our ward can be incredibly boring sometimes. It’s rare for us to have a really engaging speaker. I keep my phone handy.
I really dislike SS or PH because I am one that naturally comments/participates in class discussions. Because I know my perspective is unorthodox there always seems to be the tension between being true to myself/moderating some extreme church ideas and wearing out the collective tolerance for such liberal comments.
I am now in the primary team teaching the 4 year olds. If anything the pablum is intensified but it is different because I am not in a position to respond. Plus I have a job to do – I am contributing and feel valued.
I have given feedback twice. Once in a meeting with all the teachers where I said I was hoping for less emphasis on memorization (new songs, A of F, names of Q of 15, etc.) and more on providing a good church experience for the kids. The second was when the primary song we are learning became so rigid in gender roles/family structure (A father’s place is… A mother’s role is). I asked the PP privately to reference at some point other family situations (Single parents, working mothers, living with grandparents, etc.)
I’ve been writing a novel in SS*, people think I’m taking notes. Sometimes I go to a cafe, get breakfast. * Can’t we think of an abbreviation which doesn’t sound like the militant Nazi wing?
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