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Well, as someone who has been offended….I have this to say about LDS attitudes about being offended.. 1. Because if you are offended, the sin appears to rest more on you than the offender in our culture. I feel this component of the LDS culture is somewhat of a “license to kil;” (that’s a bit strong, but the best way I can say it). It means the LDS leadership and staunch members can make whatever errors they want, with no perceived accountability for what they did. I have seen it so often that they don’t really care.
2. We tend to write off people’s concerns as “he got offended and left the Church” — a blanket statement which does not acknowlege or obligation of Christians to care about whether we have offended others and to make amends.
Does the offended one have responsibility to deal with the offence in a positive way? Yes, they do, but I won’t harp on that as the Church talks etcetera seem to emphasize that far more than the responsibilities leaders in God’s own Church, and the followers of Christ to care deeply about who is offended and why — and to make amends.
D&C 42:88 Quote:And if thy brother and sister offend thee, Thou shalt take him or her between him or her and thee alone; and if he or she confess thou shalt be reconciled.
I like the teaching that people should try to work things out between themselves, without the leaders having to get involved or be the problem solver.
I have on a couple occasions gone to someone’s house to ask how I might have offended, to apologize, and to try to understand them. Some are still friends to me this day. But some do not want to work it out, and there is nothing one person can do in a situation between two people.sometimes, all we can do is try, but choose to part ways and let it go so we don’t hold grudges.
But it is just reality that people will get offended. It is a learning experience what to do about it, and sometimes staying away from church is an option for a time.
Exactly Heber — the phrase “conflicts should be resolved at the lowest level possible in the organization” has helped me decide how to proceed on many an occasion. I tend to overapologize, I think. If I feel I am abrupt or say something that might come across as offensive, I always approach the person and indicate I “didn’t mean to be..[insert possible negative, insensitive behavior] here….half the time people say “Oh no…” and then indicate they weren’t offended, but I always feel better that at least I was sensitive to how my behavior might have impacted the other person. Of course, there are times when I’m sure I miss and offend people without meaning to, and never even realize it or apologize for it… please delete SilentDawning wrote:Well, as someone who has been offended….I have this to say about LDS attitudes about being offended..
1. Because if you are offended, the sin appears to rest more on you than the offender in our culture. I feel this component of the LDS culture is somewhat of a “license to kil;” (that’s a bit strong, but the best way I can say it). It means the LDS leadership and staunch members can make whatever errors they want, with no perceived accountability for what they did. I have seen it so often that they don’t really care.
2. We tend to write off people’s concerns as “he got offended and left the Church” — a blanket statement which does not acknowlege or obligation of Christians to care about whether we have offended others and to make amends.
Does the offended one have responsibility to deal with the offence in a positive way? Yes, they do, but I won’t harp on that as the Church talks etcetera seem to emphasize that far more than the responsibilities leaders in God’s own Church, and the followers of Christ to care deeply about who is offended and why — and to make amends.
I’ve noticed this trend too… to punish the “squeeky wheel” & encourage some denial & irresponsibility on some parts.
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