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It’s not what you might presume. I was pleasantly surprised: The sign-off was particularly appreciated: Quote:
As for your sons, help them learn to control their thoughts and eyes both inside and outside of church — because if we’re lucky, every Sunday the pews will be filled with anyone and everyone who felt inspired to attend — “appropriately” dressed,or not.
Love that last paragraph, especially. Thanks for sharing the article.
hah hah hah… This is great! So, I’ve been 2nd counselor in the YM before. When I would see a YM dressed inappropriately at church, I would look at the Deacons. If their eyes drifted, I knew what to do at priesthood. I would hit the subject head on. There was only one way to take on the subject of where they eyes are to go. I would explain how hard it is, how hard it will always be, and what to do about it. I never talked about the actual girl and I explained that if they did see someone dressed inappropriately to not point it out. Just keep their eyes up and move on. I have no idea of it really helped …. but that is what I did.
My Bishop gave some really good advice when I was a youth: “It’s totally natural to look once. Just don’t look again.”
He’d pause and smile and then say “so make sure it’s a really looooong first look.”
Just to be clear. It seems that immodesty is a women only issue. I have never in my life been told that I’m dressing immodestly. Leering at women appears to be the male side of the coin. So… women are asked to help control the problem by covering up and men are counseled to control their eyes and their minds. Does that sound about right? Roy wrote:Just to be clear. It seems that immodesty is a women only issue. I have never in my life been told that I’m dressing immodestly. Leering at women appears to be the male side of the coin. So… women are asked to help control the problem by covering up and men are counseled to control their eyes and their minds. Does that sound about right?
That is the general idea……That I disagree with…….
I think men have to dress modestly as well. I’ve seen the leers from YM to the YM when they come with their t-tops or are playing basketball with their shirts off. It isn’t addressed as much with YM, but it still needs to be addressed.
Jazernorth wrote:Roy wrote:Just to be clear. It seems that immodesty is a women only issue. I have never in my life been told that I’m dressing immodestly. Leering at women appears to be the male side of the coin. So… women are asked to help control the problem by covering up and men are counseled to control their eyes and their minds. Does that sound about right?
That is the general idea……That I disagree with…….
I think men have to dress modestly as well. I’ve seen the leers from YM to the YM when they come with their t-tops or are playing basketball with their shirts off. It isn’t addressed as much with YM, but it still needs to be addressed.
Guessing you mean “…leers from YW to the YM…”
But still recognise the point you’re making is valid. What’s good for goose is good for gander.
Yup… YW to YM. Roy wrote:Just to be clear. It seems that immodesty is a women only issue. I have never in my life been told that I’m dressing immodestly. Leering at women appears to be the male side of the coin. So… women are asked to help control the problem by covering up and men are counseled to control their eyes and their minds. Does that sound about right?
So then the root problem is men’s sexual desire/lusts for women. I think what really contrasted it for me was one of the commenters of the article talking about how some of the men in the church may be recovering porn addicts and that an immodestly dressed woman may be a “trigger” for some sort of relapse. (I know commenters are crazy!!!)
I’ve been trying to make the case that modesty is about respecting ourselves and our bodies but that is becoming less tenable. I could see that there are some extremes that might be disrespectful depending on the intent and the heart of the woman. Is she debasing herself in her form of dress or is she dressing herself in a way that makes her feel comfortable, positive, and attractive. If the issue is about respecting ourselves and our bodies then it becomes very difficult to draw a line in the sand around what is “modest.” I could see it done for ourselves as a personal standard/guardrail but not something that could be projected on others.
If, on the other hand, we are simply out to cover up things that excite men’s passions then it becomes an entirely different proposition. I understand that table legs and piano legs were once covered because it was thought that they too would stir men’s sexual imaginations. I suppose if you are a recovering porn addict there may be any host of “triggers.”
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