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I love the taste of coffee. I love the way it smells. I love the social elements of going out for coffee with colleagues. That being stated, I do not drink it. I order herbal tea and work very hard to look like I am enjoying it.
Why? Because I don’t want anyone to say I left the church because I had problems with the WoW.
For me and my journey, distancing myself from the church needs to be about the history and tenets of the belief. I don’t want anyone to look at my life and come up with an easy excuse for way I left. ( And yes .. I know they will anyway.)
A second reason .. Even more important than the first .. Is that while I am slowly (at a snails pace) leaving the church, my husband is a devote apologist. We are very supportive of one another, and I wouldn’t want to do anything that made him uncomfortable. Having people come ask him about his wife swilling coffee — and I would want margaritas too — would definitely cause him some discomfort.
Be honest with yourself .. Honest in your relationships .. And kind. That is all any of us can do. . Whether that includes coffee, no one but you has that answer.
amateurparent wrote:Be honest with yourself .. Honest in your relationships .. And kind. That is all any of us can do. . Whether that includes coffee, no one but you has that answer.
Well for some of us we can’t even do that. That does bother me as my marriage already had enough issues.Coffee – proper bean stuff – smells gorgeous. But so do cigars and pipe tobacco.
amateurparent wrote:I love the taste of coffee. I love the way it smells. I love the social elements of going out for coffee with colleagues.
…
Why? Because I don’t want anyone to say I left the church because I had problems with the WoW.
I like how you shared your thoughts about your journey, amateurparent. And the reasons you don’t drink it. I respect those. And yes…being honest with yourself helps bring peace.I don’t think it is a big deal to people outside the church, just to people in the church.
I have colleagues at work who don’t drink coffee…I’ve heard others ask why and they just say they never have been a drinker of it, don’t care for it, trying to cut down on caffeine…and the discussion moves on. No one seems to think much about those who do or don’t.
Except mormons. We see someone else in the church sipping the high octane rocket fuel, and think they’re obviously not faithful to God or are slipping into darkness into the grips of the Adversary. We see others not members of the church and think they are missing blessings from God and would be healthier if they were only taught truth. There are such dramatic stories about it.
We put such grand eternal perspectives on a little cup of hot liquid.
I have my view of the Word of Wisdom. I’m honest with myself. I don’t think I need to drink it, or will be affected if I do. What I do think is important are the relationships I have with those around me. I’m in a mormon culture and family and I’m mormon.
ThinkingHard: Quote:“Well for some of us we can’t even do that. That does bother me as my marriage already had enough issues.”
As newlyweds, my husband came home from work and offered to take me out. He didn’t tell me that he was exhausted –he wanted to please me. I was worn out from work too .. but felt an obligation to go along with his suggestion. Through a process of trying to please one another, and not being honest, we ended seeing a movie neither one of us wanted to see. Going home, we had a discussion about doing the right thing to take care of a spouse. Each of us felt that we had sacrificed more. It turned into our first fight. We realized that neither one of us had wanted to go out, neither one of us wanted to see the movie … But both of us was hiding our real wants/needs in an attempt to take care of the other.
As time has gone on, we have learned that having honest conversations is important. We give honesty and kindness. The other person gets to chose their own emotional response. As I am getting further from the church, those conversations haven’t always been comfortable, but that’s okay.
amateurparent wrote:As time has gone on, we have learned that having honest conversations is important. We give honesty and kindness. The other person gets to chose their own emotional response. As I am getting further from the church, those conversations haven’t always been comfortable, but that’s okay.
I apply the milk before meat principle to this. I realized I had been falling away for a long time when my fc finally surfaced. If I had dumped it on my wife then and there it would have been cruel. She seems to be nearing a FC too, and I want to help her through it, but I don’t want to push her into it and end up having it drive in a wedge where there should be love.
I tell her bits and pieces of what I have found when she seems receptive, and I bare testimony of what I still believe as I go so she knows where I stand.
That said, I want coffee and have told her so, but that I won’t drink it unless she feels comfortable, and I won’t go behind her back.
amateurparent wrote:As newlyweds, my husband came home from work and offered to take me out. He didn’t tell me that he was exhausted –he wanted to please me. I was worn out from work too .. but felt an obligation to go along with his suggestion. Through a process of trying to please one another, and not being honest, we ended seeing a movie neither one of us wanted to see. Going home, we had a discussion about doing the right thing to take care of a spouse. Each of us felt that we had sacrificed more.
It turned into our first fight.We realized that neither one of us had wanted to go out, neither one of us wanted to see the movie … But both of us was hiding our real wants/needs in an attempt to take care of the other.
Great story!
Some of my siblings left the church and started drinking coffee. For various reasons most have stopped. I try to content myself with coffee ice cream, which is heaven on earth.
Quote:Coffee – proper bean stuff – smells gorgeous.
But so do cigars and pipe tobacco.
:thumbup: Coffee hardens your stool and can rip your guts to shreds as a result… this is putting it delicately. Piles and rectal bleeding (blood in poop) are not something most people desire. SamBee wrote:Coffee hardens your stool and can rip your guts to shreds as a result… this is putting it delicately. Piles and rectal bleeding (blood in poop) are not something most people desire.
That’s something you’ll never see in a Starbuck’s ad.
SamBee wrote:Coffee hardens your stool and can rip your guts to shreds as a result… this is putting it delicately. Piles and rectal bleeding (blood in poop) are not something most people desire.
I’m not saying it is good for people…but about 80% of adults in the US drink it…like 3 cups a day on average for 150 Million Americans, and then there is the worldwide consumption. Not everyone is walking around with rectal bleeding. I don’t think it is that bad.And over fifty percent have piles in the States. They can be caused by other things, such as pregnancy but I’m sure a good proportion of that’s down to coffee consumption. The figure’s probaby higher due to people not reporting an embarrassing complaint. I think if the church pointed out it can rot your backside and provoke migraines, epilepsy, heart trouble etc fewer investigators would stick with it.
Seriously, giving up coffee’s one of the best lifestyle choices I’ve made.
SamBee wrote:Seriously, giving up coffee’s one of the best lifestyle choices I’ve made.
:thumbup: Seriously…that’s awesome!Sambee, coffee is not “bad” for you. The worst thing about it is the sugar and cream. It has been shown to significantly reduce certain types of cancer, can help migraines and is strongly associated with decreased mortality. However, for some it causes heart arrhythmias, gi upset, and headaches. I’ve never heard of it causing GI bleeding. If it was bad for you, then I’m glad you were able to give it up.
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startpoor wrote:Sambee, coffee is not “bad” for you.
Yes, it certainly was “bad” for me.
My father’s side has had big problems with cardio-vascular problems. Many of them have taken fatal heart attacks in middle age (fifties, sixties), and
strong coffees (even one or two of them) were giving me heart palpitations. A few months after giving up coffee, the heart palpitations were gone, and I’ve never had them since. This was one of several reasons it was good to give it up (I gave up taurine too, by the way) – another being lack of sleep. if I’d continued drinking the stuff, I’ve no doubt I’d be setting myself up for the big one. I drank that crap for decades, dread to think the damage it’s done.
Quote:how about we focus on all the fat and sugar people consume?
I agree, that IS a major problem. I’m not a great fan of certain artificial additives either such as monosodium glutamate (MSG – often found in Chinese takeaways), aspartame (artificial sweetener found in diet drinks), taurine (Red Bull, energy drinks) and various others. Aspartame, as found in Diet Coke/Pepsi etc, is arguably worse for you than sugar – although there is great controversy about it. (I just don’t like the taste of it.)
I would also add salt, starchy foods and carbs to fat and sugar. All of these are things our bodies actually need, but not in the quantities many people eat them in, in the west. And that’s the difference – certain types of fat, sugar, salt, carbs are all things we need, but coffee isn’t one. We can live fine without coffee.
Quote:There is just as much or more caffeine in a mt dew compared to a cup of coffee and its loaded with sodium and sugar…but yet that is more acceptable to drink?
Mountain Dew isn’t widely drunk around here (although one can buy it in some outlets). Our ward doesn’t tend to serve caffienated drinks at socials – it would have the children flying around the room…
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