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Gosh, I feel like I’m a teenager again. Back when I was a Junior in high school I went through a bit of a rebellious period and didn’t enjoy church. Almost every Sunday my dad would gently rock my shoulder and say, “Get up son, time to get ready for church.”
Every Sunday, my response was,
“Dad, do I have to go to Church???”After all these years, and now with my own family, I recognize that staying home just because I’m lazy and want to sleep is no reason to skip church.
But now, I ask myself every Sunday,
“Do I need to go to Church?”Mostly the answer is, Yes…the kids need it.
I really wish I could keep the family home and we study some things and have FHE and build spiritual thoughts together. I think it would be time well spent as a family.
So, I’ll ask the group: “Do you think I need to go to Church?” What benefit will I get from going that I could not get by staying home?
What are some good things to consider in the “Yes” category, and what are things to consider in the “No” category? What do you all think about it.
Can I just say really quickly that if I had it all to do over again, YES, I would go to church, and YES, I would teach my kids to go to church, but NO, not necessarily on any given Sunday. NO, not 100%. NO, not to the point of habit. NO, not to the exclusion of a) other churches, b) a day journalling on a mountain saddle. In our church, we are getting pretty good at having at least two-deep on many demanding callings. There should be no calling that you can’t be gone from 10% of the time, in my extremely preliminary and uninformed opinion. Have a calling. But don’t be indispensable in it. “The Spirit of the Lord hath called me another way.” Let’s be confident in that.
On the “Yes’ side: The church gives you opportunities to grow, like giving talks, having callings. LDS youth are often leaders in school, work etc. because they have been given public speaking opportunities and to overcome your shyness (like on missions). It gives you opportunties to serve and be unselfish. You study and learn the gospel through social interaction. Something another person may say can help you or you them. It’s kind of like working out at home or at a gym. I swim every morning at the Y and part of my enjoyment is the social interations with people who become my friends. My closest friendships of people who have really helped me are from the church. Jesus established a church for all these reasons. On the other hand, I too thought church was often boring as a teen. I used to hate Sundays because my parents fought over religion all day and we weren’t allowed to do anything that might break the Sabbath. My youngest son went through the stage too where he told me his teacher was boring. So, we talked about the purpose of life and the purpose of the church. We ended up agreeing that it is the responsiblity of the student to help the teacher and let them know what you would like from them.
I personally have always really liked Moroni 6 especially verses 5 and 6. In my opinion, this describes the main purpose for going to church.
Quote:5 And the church did meet together oft, to fast and to pray, and to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls.
6 And they did meet together oft to partake of bread and wine, in remembrance of the Lord Jesus.
When I think about why I go to church, the two reasons for me are the sacrament and the other people. If you don’t believe in the power of the sacrament, there are still benefits to the hopefully quiet reflection time. And, of course, the people are still there.
Tom Haws wrote:Can I just say really quickly that if I had it all to do over again, YES, I would go to church, and YES, I would teach my kids to go to church, but NO, not necessarily on any given Sunday. NO, not 100%. NO, not to the point of habit. NO, not to the exclusion of a) other churches, b) a day journalling on a mountain saddle.
Yes I agree. Going to church often is good for you and your family. It is your culture and your people so to speak. The support structure of the church can be great, but like Tom Haws says not to the exclusion of other things that are important to you. I fear we have made church attendance another checkmark of our righteousness and obedience. And when it becomes mandatory it loses some of its effectiveness at least as far as spirituality goes.
Tom, I really liked your answer. I think you should go to church if it isn’t harming you on a regular basis – and I think if it is you need to find a way to make it not harm you regularly. Stepping away a week here and a week there can be good – if whatever is substituted is of great worth. Stepping away longer can be be good, as well – but it also can become habitual. Controlled, conscious, intentional participation is what I advice – and for me, right now, that means two trips each week into the town where we meet. I can’t afford any more than that currently, so we miss a lot of possible meetings and gatherings and events. That’s fine; I’m as active as I personally can be – and that’s all that can be asked fairly. Again, I’m not saying everyone has to attend church every week, every possible meeting, the more the merrier. I believe in balance and in moderation in ALL things. However, I also believe in community and selfless service and loving participation and strengthening the feeble knees – and I believe in doing so NOT ALWAYS in settings of our own ideal choosing. That last part is important to me.
Thanks for all your posts. I decided to take the family to the mountains instead of going to church. We had a wonderful gospel discussion and my kids got to ask lots and lots of questions of things they had on their mind. We even talked about some things around Joseph Smith using peep stones and I quoted Elder Nelson’s talk about how we don’t know how the revelation process worked, even if some accounts suggest the Plates were not in the room when “translating”. They should know certain things about history and feel it is safe to talk about as a family.
We had a great time hiking and taking pictures of the beautiful view, and it made us think of how wonderful God’s creations are.
My son said, “Man, this is great, we should do this every Sunday!” I was glad he felt that way.
I do not think I will do this too often (maybe just every other fast sunday or maybe not that often), because I know my primary age kids still need the primary lessons that really benefit them in basic gospel principles. However, it was a great experience and makes me glad I was creative enough to do something that benefits my family…something they’ll remember and know we can learn about spirituality in many ways, even outside of church. There is something about being in nature that is holy to me.
I will just reiterate…I agree with a lot of your posts…and am committed to continue going to church for all the benefits you all pointed out. But sometimes a little creativity is needed in our family’s situation to promote positive thinking.
What a wonderful experience, Heber. Thanks for sharing it with us. Great thread, Heber! A deliberate activity to substitute for church feels like the correct thing for you, where you are. You may want to explore further why you feel “obligated” to go to church. I understand the intense pressure of setting an example for your children and I’m not insinuating that you take any particular action. I just think that it could be fascinating to discover where these feelings are coming from; and why you feel so “bound” by them.
Thanks again for sharing!!
I loved that reminder quote from Moroni, Nightwalden. Thanks for that. It put things into words I can relate to. I go to connect with others while discussing the welfare of our souls. It sounds like you did EXACTLY that with your family. That is nice to do. It is also nice, IMO, to share from yourself with the larger community of your ward (and other communities for that matter). So yes, you *should* go to church on a regular basis (“gather oft”), consciously deciding what that church will be: a spiritual walk in nature with your family, talking about God; and also in a building with a steeple, talking about God with our extended “family.”
Can you sometimes just go off on your own to “gather” with just you and God? Sure. Do that when led by the Spirit.
My way of doing Church on my terms plays out in a couple of ways. I have come to the point where I really enjoy teaching. I’m now teaching the HP class 2-3 Sundays a month. I decided I didn’t want a weekly commitment for 2 reasons. First, I spend considerable time preparing the lesson, trying to give them something that either informs, inspires or motivates. I can’t do a good job of that if it is every week. Second reason is that I want to play hooky, especially from PR mtg. Usually it is a waste of time imo, and I would rather be doing something else more worth while. I have no qualms about skipping out of all meetings, especially if it is to hiking or backpacking. I love to get into nature and recharge my batteries in a way that the 3 hour block just can’t. But then when I come back, I do appreciate and value what I do get from Church. So I guess absence makes the heart fonder.
I think going to church because you have to is the wrong reason. I do not believe not going is really going to hurt you. If you go because you want to, because you feel up lifted, or because it is fun to see your friends I think any of these reasons are great reasons to go to church. Likely there are more good reasons, but if you are making decisions because of guilt or fear I think it can really have a detrimental effect on you. One day I went to stake conference and I realized that most of my life I went to church because I “had to” or that is what I was suppose to do. I realized that I could walk out that day and never come back and be OK and not feel guilty or bad for it. I stayed. I continued to go every week for a long time. I now choose to work on Sunday, but I still choose to go when my schedule permits. I must admit I only go to see my friends. I do not go for any spiritual reason. I do feel I have a very spiritual life. I think probably one of the most spiritual times of my life, but sadly I do not get any of it from attendance at the LDS church. I also think that if you can make a choice that would give you more spiritual up lift go for it. The question reminds me of a joke, On Sunday morning, Johnny tells his mother, “I don’t want to go to church. People don’t like me, I don’t like them very much either, and the meetings are boring. Just let me sleep.
The mother responds, “Johnny, that doesn’t matter. You’ve got to go anyway, you’re the bishop.
😆 dash1730 wrote:The question reminds me of a joke,
On Sunday morning, Johnny tells his mother, “I don’t want to go to church. People don’t like me, I don’t like them very much either, and the meetings are boring. Just let me sleep.
The mother responds, “Johnny, that doesn’t matter. You’ve got to go anyway, you’re the bishop.
😆
Nice, dash! That’s a good one.The funny thing about it also is how much truth there is behind it…there have been tons of times the only reason I’m going is the calling I’m in and if I have to show up for it.
But thanks for the laugh!
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