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I have a question. Our HPGL has been diagnosed with cancer. He’s having chemotherapy and of course, can’t function. I have seen this over and over and over over again. Auxiliaries limp along with people who are sick for long periods of time, relying on uncommitted counselors, often, or having it bubble up to the leadership above the sick president. That whole area ends up being a back hole for the longest time until the person dies or in some cases, makes a recovery. And even then, their life is so different they have to be released anyway.
In your experience, do they approach the sick person and find out what they want to do with the calling? I can understand being sensitive to the message it sends about the person’s worth, or prognosis if you go to a summary release, without discussing it with the sick president. But am I so naive to think that every sick person says “don’t release me” as a show of faith? If I was sick, I’d want out of the calling so I can focus on getting better again, the Ward can progress with someone healthy in my place, and then figure out what I can contribute when I am over the sickness.
I understand this happens with the prophet and apostles, but their’s are lifetime callings (something else we could debate). But can you help me understand why this happens all the time in non-lifetime callings?
I’m not sure but during the recent Relief Society broadcast one of the sisters talked about a lady who served as Relief Society president in her ward while dealing with cancer. Can’t remember if she chose to serve, but your question reminded me of that recent talk In my experience they do not release people in this situation. We had a SP die of cancer while in office, and prior to that a counselor did the same. You can bet if I were diagnosed with incurable cancer, as was the case with these two brethren, that first thing I’d do is tell them I’m done. I’ve actually given this some thought (I used to work for a neurosurgeon) and I would want to have as much enjoyment as I could in the little time I have left, spending time with my family and friends doing things I want to do. Always Thinking wrote:
I’m not sure but during the recent Relief Society broadcast one of the sisters talked about a lady who served as Relief Society president in her ward while dealing with cancer. Can’t remember if she chose to serve, but your question reminded me of that recent talk
This reminds me of something I recently ran across. It was a screen grab from social media with the following text:
Quote:LDS men are always like, “well at least you don’t get yelled at during the Women’s Broadcast like we do in the Priesthood Session.” No, we don’t. It’s worse. They just tell stories of women with super hard lives so we’re guilted into not complaining and then start following the commandments out of gratitude. It’s crafty manipulation. Now I’m like, “GREAT. I’m not married and I can’t even be sad about it because at least I’M NOT JENNY. BRB gotta repent. Pray. Go to church. Read my scriptures twice a day instead of once. Host a refugee family. Go to the temple every day. Clean highways. Give homeless people haircuts. CONVERT 17 FAMILIES A YEAR TO THE GOSPEL. Donate to animal shelters. Stop online shopping on Sundays. Give up sugar. Wink at boys. Enjoy the Old Testament. Kiss babies. AND WEAR NYLONS, IDK?And be nice. ALL RIGHT NOW. NOW. NOW. AND SMILE BECAUSE JENNY SMILES.”
It works, Sister Burton. It works. So keep doing it.
😯 There’s a fine line between inspiring people with stories and having those same stories set impossibly high expectations of people.
Back on subject… I’d like to think that the leaders in my ward would release a person that has cancer. In fact I’m fairly certain they would.
It depends on the situation and the person/family. I have seen it done both ways. I have no problem with that, as long as the option is there to be released.
@nibbler I find it ironic in that screen grab you quoted that the woman is talking about feeling as if she shouldn’t complain because these other women (in conference stories) have it worse than her, even though at the very beginning of her statement, she’s telling the men that women have it worse. Basically doing the same thing to the men that she’s complaining about the women’s conference doing to women, telling them to not complain because someone else has it worse. I totally agree though, that sometimes inspiring stories can make people feel like they should compare themselves to others.
When my dad was dying of cancer, he served as Branch President. Our family had mixed emotions…watching him become weaker and spending his energy going to church meetings and visiting with people, and then coming home to sleep with no energy for family (it seemed at times). They didn’t release him. That bothered my mom some…but we all sustained him. We found overall that there were many blessings for him having something good to do and keep his mind engaged in church and serving others. I think it kept his mind off his inevitable situation. He was happier when serving others, right up until the end.
He inspired many. He is my hero.
In my situation…I was grateful leaders allowed him to offer his service…even though I’m sure he was slower and weaker than many others could be as Branch President.
I still talk to my dad sometimes up in the mountains on my hikes. I try to be like he was. I don’t know what I would do in his situation…and if I would stay serving in church or ask for a release. I just don’t know what I’d do. But for him…it was the right thing. Miss you dad!
I think it goes back to what DJ was saying. People generally want to spend their last days doing what they love. For some people that’s going to be visiting people and blessing the lives of others. Good on your dad. You’ll have to give me his number.
:thumbup: I liked Ray’s comment that as long as there is agency — the person feels they have a choice, then it’s fine. Also, some people want to do such things so they go out of this life with a bang. Perhaps to make up for time lost, to repent, to at least feel they have done what they think God expects in their final days.
But I think that’s a personal choice.
In the specific situation we are in, in our Ward, the person is not able to function. I hope he had a choice.
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