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I think it’s kind of funny that you posted about this this week. Last Sunday, I arrived at church feeling pretty good. I felt energetic, and I was helping my daughter search for pokemon as we walked around outside the chapel. But, the second I walked into the sacrament room I felt my energy get zapped away. I felt listless, and I had no desire to even move once I sat down. I took a mental note of this, and I’m going to pay attention to see if this will be a continuing occurrence. My energy did not return to me for the rest of the day.
One thing I’m struggling a bit with is putting forth the energy I would normally expend toward my new assignment in the Ward — Teachers’ Council Facilitator. I think it would be good to go around and introduce myself to teachers in the two weeks leading up to our first council, quickly explain the council’s purpose, and ask them to fill out a short questionnaire about issues related to teaching that they would like to discuss. This would drive the agenda. I may also have a checklist of items for people who don’t have ideas, to choose from.
But when I think of putting effort into it, I shrink. I am not sure why. I think part of it is that such effort represents engagement with the church again. And I have dealt with my angst toward the church through indifference. Do I really want to validate the organization with my commitment again? I wonder about that. I don’t WANT to be enthusiastic about it. Not sure why….
And I find THAT draining.
SD – you sound burned out. Sometimes, being bored or drained happens because of what is going on around us. Sometimes, being bored or drained happens because of what is going on inside us.
Sometimes, we create self-fulfilling prophecies.
Always, it is worth examining, at least, why – and not jumping automatically to the same conclusion every time.
DJ – I will take a shot at it. Quote:Would you mind sharing some examples of objectives Mom? I might like to try that.
Point one – I attend for myself. Everyone in my immediate home does not attend. They vary on belief, but I go it alone. This alone makes what ever decision I make very personal. I own it – good or bad.
Objectives – Multiple options before me.
Ritual – love healthy rituals and sacraments.
Humans – it’s a group that I get, neither of us may know it, but the group needs me, even if I am silent.
Matthew 5 – This one is huge for me. I can’t prove any theology but I believe if more of us spent time trying to carry out Matthew 5 the world would be a better place.
Last of all – Train tracks. I believe tracks can only be shifted by attendee’s.
As I head in, those objectives stand paramount. Some weeks are better than others. Some weeks I have to open my kindle and read “Grace is Not God’s Back Up Plan” to keep my heart in check. But I always make myself an active participant, even if I don’t make comments. I observe, I smile, I listen and make myself available.
Most of all – I want to be an Adult with God.
LookingHard wrote:SD – you sound burned out.
Yes. Lots of pressures in my life right now. I lost my love of music last month. That is part of it. I hope it passes. I don’t feel like doing much that I love right now. Normally this happens due to overwork…not depression, just working too hard, and juggling too many priorities. I think there is a church engagement issue here too.
dtrom34 wrote:I think it’s kind of funny that you posted about this this week. Last Sunday, I arrived at church feeling pretty good. I felt energetic, and I was helping my daughter search for pokemon as we walked around outside the chapel. But, the second I walked into the sacrament room I felt my energy get zapped away. I felt listless, and I had no desire to even move once I sat down. I took a mental note of this, and I’m going to pay attention to see if this will be a continuing occurrence.
My energy did not return to me for the rest of the day.
Nice! Playing Pokemon with your daughter…sounds like you were creating good energy with that.I usually joke and play around with my teenagers during church…try to create good feelings so they don’t dread the time. I never know when there is a nugget or two they pick up between our drawing or games we do.
mom3 wrote:Last of all – Train tracks. I believe tracks can only be shifted by attendee’s.
Tell me a little more about what you mean with this? I’m interested how you worded it, but not sure I got it. Please…enlighten me??
Heber asked Quote:Tell me a little more about what you mean with this? I’m interested how you worded it, but not sure I got it. Please…enlighten me??
It’s a historic reference to WWII and rescue’s. My husband uses it in reference to how I am proceeding. I am a member of the “enemy”. I wear the uniform, participate in the activities as if I am fully fledged, but my real goal is to run the train tracks. As the cars pull out, I switch the tracks and hopefully change the course of history. (My husband isn’t trying to be crass or disrespectful but the analogy does fit to some extent.)
I work diligently to spread “The Gospel”. It is inclusive to me. I gently work to soften hard ideas. I don’t want to be an agitator or an aggressor, but I want to effect change.
This past week in SS, I made two observations about judging people. I used the teachers exact words to formulate my comment. I criticized no one. Only offered an idea that I believe every human needs to keep in mind, which is “don’t judge.” It has a myriad applications but we need to repeat it often. I found a slot to do it in. I spoke to a group of people who might need it. If I hadn’t attended or looked for the opening. The train most likely would have sped by with no one the wiser.
I spend most of my Sundays moving tracks like that.
Hmmm….mom3. I like your “evil plan”. love it! Thanks!!
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