Do you have a lot for which to repent?

[Anonymous]

As I have been praying more lately, I have been structuring my prayers in thanksgiving, intercession for others, repentance, and petition (asking for things I need).

I am finding it really hard to find anything in the repentance section of my prayers. I hope I don’t sound self-righteous when I say that. But now that I have put the church in a better place in my life, most of the shoulds the church puts on us no longer act as repentance-worthy shoulds. I find that the mistakes for which I need to repent tend to be based on lack of personal judgment, bona fide, uncontemplated mistakes, or sins of ommission (like I forgot to vacuum my pool and now I have black algae which will be tough to get rid of without great expense to my family). And after taking calming meds now for anxiety and depression, I find that I am very even-tempered with my family. I have a hard time thinking of things for which I need to repent. There is a very even-tempered feeling of being OK in the eyes of God.

Do you feel you have a lot for which to repent? How do you feel before God? What role do the shoulds of our religion play in your felt need to repent in your prayers?

[Anonymous]

I used to feel like the most unworthy sinner in the world when I actually believed the claims from the church and took it into my heart. I begged god for forgiveness when I discovered private time, I begged God to forgive me when I accidentally said words like beaver dam. I thought I was horrible and not worthy of being clean and recovering.

Now that I’ve left, I realize the church owes ME. they have hundreds of years of mistakes and offensive behaviors to repent to god for before they even have the RIGHT to tell me to repent to be worthy. Now I challenge the church to take Oak’s claim that they offer no apologies and ask if they don’t have to, can I skip mine too?

I feel a lot more clean and open now that I have decided that if there IS a god, he is more angry at organizations that abuse power and hurt people than little me discovering private time. Once I became reassured by others not of the faith and by my own logical conclusion, I just simply allowed myself to be happier and less critical of myself.

Plus now that I’ve decided that swearing, drinking coffee and not paying tithing is normal and healthy, there’s a lot less to “repent” for anyway. :thumbup: :angel:

[Anonymous]

grobert93 wrote:

Plus now that I’ve decided that swearing, drinking coffee and not paying tithing is normal and healthy, there’s a lot less to “repent” for anyway. :thumbup: :angel:

I think this is the key, along with letting go of the associated guilt/fear.

And again, let us not confuse or conflate repentance and penance.

[Anonymous]

DarkJedi wrote:

grobert93 wrote:

Plus now that I’ve decided that swearing, drinking coffee and not paying tithing is normal and healthy, there’s a lot less to “repent” for anyway. :thumbup: :angel:

I think this is the key, along with letting go of the associated guilt/fear.

And again, let us not confuse or conflate repentance and penance.

Exactly. I still do not tolerate stealing or murder for example. I believe in being honest and kind. But you don’t need religion to tell you that. I think you inherit those traits and standards as you live life and realize what makes life a whole lot easier and what doesn’t.

[Anonymous]

I’ve found that it’s not the big items that I need to repent of.

It is the items that can lead us to the big items.

Such as:

. Anger. (One of the biggest for me)

. Envy.

. Self Righteous.

. Covetous.

You get the idea.

If I do regular preventative maintenance, I will avoid the big ones.

In my prayers, I ask God to reveal anything I may have missed. Sometimes it works.

I do have a hard time praying.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of ways I am trying to change.

Since I define “repent” based only on its original meaning (“change”), yes, I do. I stopped attaching “guilt” to it a while ago, since, in the end, from a theological viewpoint, I believe the Atonement covers what I do because of temporary insanity.

Not all of those ways would be seen as “repentance” by a lot of people, and lots of people would say I need to repent for things I feel don’t need to be changed, but I am fine with that. “According to the dictates of (my) own conscience,” works for me.

[Anonymous]

DarkJedi wrote:

grobert93 wrote:

Plus now that I’ve decided that swearing, drinking coffee and not paying tithing is normal and healthy, there’s a lot less to “repent” for anyway. :thumbup: :angel:

I think this is the key, along with letting go of the associated guilt/fear.

And again, let us not confuse or conflate repentance and penance.

I agree with DJ. Letting go is important so we don’t dwell in the past and live with regret, but as Old-Timer said, “Change” by recognizing what I didn’t like and learn from it.

I’m not sure I believe God is keeping track of it, but I am. I need to trust with hope, and let go of the past.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been thinking about this myself lately. Funny that there is a thread about it..

My repentance list is long but I don’t let it bother me. I know I am not perfect, my long term spot in the Kingdom is not certain but I know I am good enough. Let’s just think about the world of coin collecting as an example. Coin collectors can’t always get that perfectly graded and verified coin for their collections. The ones that look too good to be true are usually fakes. In my case, I am that lesser grade, one looks like it spent time being passed around for 100 years.. it is authentic, but dirty/worn.. Good enough for most collectors.

I’m good enough, I’m trying to live good but it doesn’t always work out. I have undesirable traits, but I think many people do because we are human. I’m a product of my environment and experience. I wouldn’t change a thing. I wouldn’t be me if my experiences were different. Once we quit comparing ourselves to that most righteous neighbor in the pew over, we actually start living and improving. God is patient with me, God is excited when I finally do something right. God is patient with you too.. live your life without regrets and never stop trying. Repent in your own way if that helps you move on.

[Anonymous]

I view repentance a lot like CurtSunshine does – it’s all about what is changing and what should be changing. It also comes down to authority because you have to decide which parties have authority to request/insist/demand changes in your behavior and why.

For example, in my life, my husband has the greater right to request changes in my behavior than the church, because he is more impacted by my actions and I trust my husband to have a better understanding of my circumstances and what (and to what degree) I can and cannot change things.

It could be that the “repentance” part of your prayers becomes a personal check-in point to see what you are focused on changing and how that is going – I don’t know.

SIDE NOTE: Right now, I am working on “repenting” (changing) in the areas of setting and keeping thoughtful boundaries, very perfecting when to step back and let my family members handle their own care-taking, keeping the principle of Charity in my life when we are now in a more individual-centric world, daily practicing setting up “win-win” situations with my 10.75 year old daughter when she wants to set up “win-lose” situations with me (where she wins and and I lose OR if I win, she loses), and figuring out “what I really want” here. I am also working on teaching myself how to cook (with my husband’s help).

[Anonymous]

AmyJ wrote:

I view repentance a lot like CurtSunshine does – it’s all about what is changing and what should be changing. It also comes down to authority because you have to decide which parties have authority to request/insist/demand changes in your behavior and why.

It could be a matter of semantics on what you’re view of authority is vs my view of authority. I would maintain no one has the authority to request/insist/demand someone else to change (especially not church leaders). Of course, I also understand that a spouse desiring one to change is much different animal than a bishop and a boss is yet another different story. A person convinced against their will is of the same opinion still. I believe real repentance/change can only come intrinsically because the individual wants to change.

[Anonymous]

Hi DJ, I think it is a matter of semantics.

I tend to view authority as giving personal authorization/personal validation for thinking/acting something differently/or acting at all then one intended to originally do so based on the cost of the initial request/demand (in any form), the amount of trust and connection between the parties involved, and the divergence of the request/demand from the expectations of the person.

In my family, we use “you are authorized for” activities a lot. For example, my oldest daughter is authorized to wander into the kitchen at well because she has been trained in safe kitchen behavior and has the degree of judgement (most of the time) necessary to be safe in that room unsupervised. However, my 4 year old is not authorized or trained in kitchen wandering (much to her dismay). Her reaction if that authorization is revoked depends on a) how much she wanted to be in the kitchen at the time she was not authorized for passage, b) how much of a connection she has with me at the time, and c) how much she expected to be able to go into that kitchen.

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