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I did have anxiety and depression a number of years ago when many people I knew were battling cancer. I also suffered from anxiety in dealing with very difficult family members. In those instances talking with a counselor helped me immensely, and gave me tools to deal with my issues and with the people who were creating stress. I then went about 10 years not needing my counselor, but this year with stresses regarding church and my children I had to get back to my counselor and talk things out again. My anxiety was over the top. I was projecting way down the road worse case scenarios on about everything dealing with kids and church. The counseling helped again. I have also been taking a mild anti-depressant for several years. That seems to have done the trick for me at this time. I recommend finding a
goodcounselor if you have anxiety or depression. I also recommend following the WOW, because if I happened to be a drinker, this year could have gotten very ugly for me. It would be very easy for me to want to self medicate when in a high stress situation. I don’t think there is any person alive on earth that can say they never struggle with anxiety or depression. We all do – some more than others. Probably is more correct to say that some days are worse than others. I used to think that the church was the cause for a lot of my “problems”. In reality, I think the church was just slightly more adept at uncovering them. And I’m coming to realize that being exposed isn’t entirely bad. People who never are exposed and/or have to hurt very rarely change. As much as I claim at times to hate the bad parts of the church, it’s definitely been the thing that’s put a gun to my head and is beginning to force me to realize that my identity is beyond a member of the church. There are lots of good members of the church who don’t know the church is true any more than I do. They just haven’t happened to have something come along yet that’s forced them to realize that they’re not quite as sure of it as they think they are. Or, for the purposes of this thread, some people just aren’t going through something right now that’s hard enough drag them into severe anxiety/depression. I don’t think I struggle with it, I think I manage it like intothelight described. But I have seen people close to me who need help to deal with it. From what I see, their bodies and brain are
totally different than my struggles with it. I can’t completely relate to what they go through. It seems each individual is on a sliding scale of the intensity of these emotions, and some respond to counseling, some to medication, some to church/spirituality, some to exercise/diet, or any combination of a ton of things.
It is highly individual. All I know is that when some people suffer deeply, they often need assistance from someone to get through it…it is not simply a choice to be happy. And even the “experts” or “professionals” in this field never know exactly how to help individuals, they just do trial and error stuff until they find something that works, and sometimes, they fail.
It is also sometimes very hard on the people around the person who suffers from it. Because it is hard to know how to help, and the person suffering has to accept and want help.
I have been riddled with anxiety and depression for 18 years, which is over half of my life. Here’s a short version of my story: I was born and raised in Utah. I am now in the mid-thirties. We went to church as a family but I became a rebellious teenager. I started smoking pot in ninth grade and dropped out of school the following year. I drank and used other drugs.
I had a “bad trip” on LSD when I was 16. I also realized that what I had learned in Primary and all that my parents had taught me about the Gospel is true.
Despite struggling with depression, I graduated from high school and prepared for the temple and a mission.
Though I experienced depression and anxiety, I had some good times and completed my mission. I had a very solid testimony.
I got married a few months after getting home. Within a few months after that, I was severely depressed. I have visited doctors, psychiatrists, and psychologists and tried many medications since then. I was told that I don’t have OCD and the issues are depression and anxiety.
Eventually, I lost some faith because I had tried for so long to live the Gospel and I was not happy.
There was a reason for including information regarding my drug use and struggles with mental illness. Just last year, I was diagnosed with ADD (I don’t include the H because I’m not hyperactive). A lot of things suddenly made more sense. It partially explains why I dropped out of high school,
lovedsmoking pot (it relaxed my brain), completed only one year of college during a period of five years despite getting awesome grades and test scores, and was sub-par in job performance despite high knowledge and ability. Due to those and other things, life has been incredibly frustrating, disappointing, and depressing.
I have suffered from anxiety and depression for the past 20 years. I was actually severely depressed the year before my mission (my freshman year in college), but I didn’t recognize it, so I didn’t think of it being an issue for me going out on my mission. I was depressed from the second month in the MTC until nine or 10 months in the field. (Almost all of this depression was related to feelings of self-loathing related to very occasional masturbation, and feelings of inferiority and regard to the numbers game in the field). I began to develop feelings of severe anxiety during finding activities. Street contacting was the most anxiety producing activity, and I simply could not do it without shutting down. I continue to struggle with depression through my second year of college, but did okay the next three years. (With the exception of seasonal depression during the months of winter when weather inversions cap the Salt Lake Valley for weeks on end. Then I started teaching high school. It was extremely stressful, especially the second high school at which I taught. To top things off, I was rear-ended while stopped at a stoplight, and began having severe back and neck pain. I felt that I had no control over my own life, and sank back into an awful depression. Twice during that time I had panic attack episodes that I thought were cardiac symptoms, and after two negative EKGs, I was told by a doctor that I was simply having panic attacks, and that I should try an antidepressant. I have been taking one every day for the past 10 years, and I added an additional antidepressant during the winter months. I also have done quite a bit of talk therapy.
I do believe that I have a genetic predisposition for serotonin problems, but there are very good explanations for my anxiety depression otherwise. My good intentions and perfectionistic tendencies did not mesh well with the high expectation and severe judgmentalism of Wasatch front Mormon culture, to say nothing of the crushing feelings of self-loathing that I developed in relation to my same-sex attractions. So yes, I definitely suffer from anxiety and depression.
The discussion regarding chemical imbalances and external factors is interesting. I believe there are all sorts of external factors contributing to anxiety/depression (lousy food, lack of exercise, family issues, media, etc.) I also believe someone can just have a chemical imbalance in the brain. If the imbalance is the only cause of the anxiety/depression, external factors can make things worse. I have been told to “snap out of it.” The truth is that I could do a lot more than what I am doing to improve my situation. I could have a more nutritious diet, exercise regularly, take supplements, and other things. On the other hand, it is true that I can’t make anxiety/depression go away, even if I do all those things.
It is important to be compassionate toward those who have any kind of mental illness. While it doesn’t help when one tells me to “snap out of it” or “get off your butt,” encouraging me to participate in some good activities can help.
From what you’ve told me, Shawn, you had some childhood experiences which can’t have done you any good. A lot of my problems stem partly from certain aspects of my history and life over which I had little or no control, and which were most definitely external. Amen, brother. Remember whatever our pasts, or indeed our present, we can help each other now. I think the fact that some awful things happened to me in my childhood has hardly helped my mental health, nor did bereavement. But I’ve got to move forward, and life has got better in some ways anyway. Your posts are a help to me and many others, and that’s what really matters.
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