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I am not sure if I’ve mentioned it in my previous posts, but I teach the 11-12 years boys in my ward. Now, it was fine when it started which was back in 2012. But now, I am just unable to keep doing it. For one, it’s hard for me to teach doctrine when I struggle on my own at even living it. I’m not really a bad person, but lets just say I don’t consider my self worthy to go into the temple at the moment. In fact, I haven’t done BFTD since last year. I also tend to avoid situations when someone needs a blessing, so I usually just tell them I’ll just watch and whatnot, and ever that’s hard in itself. I just really don’t see why I have this calling. I’m not even that great of an example to them. I’m sure their parents would be just delighted to find out that a guy who doesn’t have the greatest morals, smokes weed every now and then and isn’t even all that active in the church and not even that great of a priesthood holder teaching them. Heck, I’m sure if they found out I’m more Democratic, politically, they’d probably be upset. lol
If you don’t know already, I haven’t even served a mission, due to medical issues. However, this medical issue is about to clear up, and I’m seriously considering not even going anymore. Just because I’m at a point of no-return with school and whatnot.
I don’t know. Can I even do this? Like just ask the bishop to be released?
I teach the class with 2 other guys. One is actually my former bishop (Who actually helped me out with lots of things and understood my situation when I was a Priest age 16-18. And then this other guy who I’m cool with, we’re actually good friends.)
So I don’t teach every Sunday, more like once a month. And even when I do teach, I am unprepared, the kids don’t listen to me, and talk over me. Heck, sometimes I want to tell them to shut the hell up or something like that. But I obviously can’t. lol
willb1993 wrote:I don’t know. Can I even do this? Like just ask the bishop to be released?
Yes, if that is what you decide you need to do.willb1993 wrote:I teach the class with 2 other guys. One is actually my former bishop (Who actually helped me out with lots of things and understood my situation when I was a Priest age 16-18. And then this other guy who I’m cool with, we’re actually good friends.)
Do you think you could work something out with these other two teachers so that you only teach lessons you feel comfortable teaching?willb1993 wrote:And even when I do teach, I am unprepared, the kids don’t listen to me, and talk over me.
It is my experience that 11-12 year olds can be a tough age group. If you are not prepared, they catch on quickly and any chance of keeping their attention is gone. On the flip side, they are old enough to have an intelligent conversation. If you prepare well and teach by asking a lot of well-thought-out questions, they may surprise you with their wisdom. Just don’t waste their time by showing up unprepared. In my opinion, if you are not willing to prepare a lesson, then you should ask to be released.I’m a career teacher, so I have a few suggestions. I like Leap’s suggestion to coordinate lessons with the other teachers. Do it on the idea that you think you’ll do a better job when the topic is something that you feel you have a lot of offer, or that you feel passionate about, etcetera. That you think it will make for better lessons.
The other suggestion I have with that age group is to MAKE IT FUN. Think of the lesson as an activity period rather than a “lesson”. Of course, it has to be a Sunday type of activity lesson.
Here are a few ideas.
1. Briefly teach the lesson and then indicate there will be a game at the end. Make the lesson short — like 10 minutes tops. Then do a game at the end that reinforces learning such as:
a) Concentration — get some index cards, — write question on one side of a card, and the answer on the other side. Do this for several pairs of cards. Shuffle the deck and place them face down. The class has to try to flip over two cards to get a match. Person with the most matches at the end wins. They will remember and learn what you taught them very well.
b) Nerf Ball: I simply brought a bucket and a spongy nerf ball. Everyone stood in line and had to try to throw the ball in a the bucket across the room. But to throw, you have to answer a question about the lesson you just taught.
c) Ball Zones: Take some masking tape and make three zones (just three parallel strips of tape, with each zone getting smaller as you get further from the doorway. Get a little ball, like a golf ball or a rubber ball like you get in dollar stores. The kids have to answer a question about the lesson, and if they get it right, they can gently roll the ball into the zones. Each zone has a point, with the farthest, smallest zone having the most points. Depending on the size of the class, you can be in teams, or compete individually.
d) Mini-Golf. Same idea as above — each student has to answer a question to play. You have a circle of paper you cut out (maybe a few of them) worth different points written on them. Bring a little putter/hockey stick or anything they can use, plus a ping pong ball as a golf ball, to then take a putt at one of the paper “holes”. Person with the most points wins.
Consider bringing a chocolate bar or something for the winner of any of these games, and everyone gets some little bite size wrapped chocolates like you get for cheap at Wal-Mart.
Also, focus on the things in the lesson you can teach without feeling uncomfortable and scrap the rest.
I’d keep trying…it’s good to have a positive impact on others, makes you feel good, and you can still contribute a lot in spite of feeling the way you do about your political beliefs, etcetera.
First, I don’t think you should ask to be released because of concerns about whether or not you are “worthy” enough. None of us or all of us are “worthy enough” (depending on which view a person takes), but we do what we can, anyway. Second, it sounds like your Bishop has given you a regular calling that is structured in such a way as to give you a chance to serve in the Church without extensive time commitment. I would hesitate to ask to be released from such a situation, generally.
Third, don’t beat yourself up over not serving a mission. From what you’ve shared with us, I think that probably is the best choice right now – and it actually is in line with the Church’s position currently. There might be some kind of service mission that is available, but a traditional mission probably isn’t the best option for you.
Quote:Do you think you could work something out with these other two teachers so that you only teach lessons you feel comfortable teaching?
I like that suggestion, a lot. If the other teachers know you and understand, I hope they would understand such a request.
Quote:It is my experience that 11-12 year olds can be a tough age group.
The most difficult in any setting. I loved teaching that age group, but it was tough even for me as a life-long educator by training and nature.
Quote:In my opinion, if you are not willing to prepare a lesson, then you should ask to be released
.
This is the heart of it all, imo. If you can change your focus and try to prepare (NOT “perfect” lessons with “perfect” outcomes, but just simple preparation and effort), I would suggest you do so; if not, I would suggest you ask to be released.
On a personal note, have you been able to continue with professional counseling? I hope so, since that can help with the underlying issues.
willb, before asking to be released, ask yourself, where would you be willing to serve? What kind of callings do you like? What kind of callings do you dislike?
I think it would be easier for a Bishop to release you if he had options of where else he could use you.
I am beginning to understand that it is important to serve at any level of the organization.
It gives you a feeling of belonging to the group. Even if it is a one hour commitment during the week.
People get to meet & know you better over time.
Quote:Can I even do this? Like just ask the bishop to be released?
Yes. You’re a
volunteer. You actually don’t need to askanything. When my two callings were both causing me grief and felt more bureaucratic than filled with any kind of Spirit, I sent a polite email to my bishop letting him know that I was resigning on a certain date (two weeks from then) and that my work would be completed for the upcoming month. I also added that when I felt available for another calling, I would let him know. He was very gracious about it all and now I feel much lighter and much happier.
Again, you don’t have to ask to be released. That’s the verbiage that’s common in the church but you’re a volunteer giving of your time and energy. You can reset your boundaries and re-evaluate your own needs at any point. Maybe you might find volunteer opportunities outside of the church that feel more genuine and useful to you. Or maybe you might find opportunities to serve within the church that aren’t “official” callings. You can still be part of the community.
Good luck!
Excellent point, AM – and it’s easy to overlook that simple, basic foundation. I have over 10 years experience with boy scouts in a large non-LDS troop of 50 to 70 boys and that age is my favorite. Which is unusual. Here are a few additional suggestions. Boys that age are listening even when they are not listening. Which is most of the time. They multi task well but don’t focus well. There might be something biological going on like neurons disconnecting and reconnecting. So don’t take it personally if they seem to ignore you. I can’t tell you how many times older boys have thanked me for something I said to them years before when I thought they were not really listening. It is usually something simple like “you can do this” or “why not try it (something hard)? “
Boys that age learn better by doing than listening. Anything active will be better than having them sit there.
Most of us have conveniently forgotten that boys that age can be astonishing rude and nasty when adults are not around. What they dish out to you is probably pretty mild in comparison to what they are capable. I don’t know what to do about this except pray (and keep them away from actual young girls until they mature more).
Think of it as a party and join in the fun. More than doctrine, these kids need to belong. It sounds like your team teachers are more than able to take care of teaching doctrine. Socialization at church is probably as important as teaching concepts. If these boys feel part of an open and inclusive LDS peer group (not clannish and exclusive) and the majority of those boys are generally doing the right things in the big picture (drugs, sex, etc ; not the laughing and goofing around), then belonging will help lift all of them.
Watch for the boys who are a little different and maybe are being excluded. Then figure out how to get them included better.
Think about, instead of being released, maybe changing what you are doing to make this calling work for you and that will probably be the path to making it work for them. Release yourself and then call yourself to a new and better (more realistic) version of teaching/coaching/mentoring these boys.
Wonderful advice, Porter – truly wonderful.
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