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OK, so I get a phone call from a woman who said her daughter just moved into the Ward, and that she, the mother has moved into a Ward several counties away. Could I tell her when church starts in her (the mother’s) new Ward several counties away? She said she received a letter indicating i was available to help as needed. Talk about an obligation ambush. It’s not a big deal to look it up for her, but the lack of respect it shows from our priesthood leaders is spectacular.
Also, I then checked my home teaching list, and I now have 20 home teaching families, plus, apparently, they sent out letters to everyone on my list, without asking me, indicating I was available to help as needed. I never agreed to have 20 home teaching families (up from 18 a few weeks ago). I never agreed to have a letter sent saying I’m available to help 18-20 people as needed, along with my cell number. No one asked me or even copied me on the letters they sent.
Forgive me, am I off my rocker feeling absolutely INCENSED with such behavior on the part of our priesthood leaders?
Is this the way things work in God’s kingdom? Disrespect for agency, taking people’s service hours for granted, and no thought for existing commitments people have, or their own expressions of volition after such commitments are forced on them without their consent??
SD, that sucks! I’m sorry that happened. I would hope agency in Heavenly Father’s eyes isn’t set up like that. I don’t get some leaders’ actions at all. As a leader I wouldn’t ever do that. It’s just inconsiderate. 20 home teaching families seems like an awfully lot to me. In my ward, we don’t get that many. A few at the most. I understand why you are incensed, SD, and I would be too. You are being treated unfairly and without respect. You need to nip this in the bud, a frank (but calm) talk with your leader is overdue. DarkJedi wrote:
I understand why you are incensed, SD, and I would be too. You are being treated unfairly and without respect. You need to nip this in the bud, a frank (but calm) talk with your leader is overdue.
I think it’s time to go to my Bishop and tell him my story. One of weariness, not doubt. I am getting fed up with this expectation that I be Hercules with all the high pressure callings & assignments they keep asking me to take, and then call me stubborn when I won’t accept them.
Don’t they get that it’s the experience that past leaders have consistently created over the years that has led me to this position? That contrary to the promises of past leaders, activity in the LDS church is NOT a source of happiness? I need to also share the impact my church experience has had on my health, which led me to my current way of serving others.
The 20 home teaching families — I’ve adapted to that.
What’s got me now is that they wrote to these families and told them I am available to help them, giving my personal cell number, without even informing me or asking my permission.I just called a member of the SP who is one of my friends. I asked if there is a stakewide program that involves assigning all families to brethren, regardless of the reasonability of the load, with letters sent to the families telling them assigned brethren were available to help them — without those brethren’s knowledge or permission. He said “no”, it must be a ward specific program.
Again, why would anyone in their right mind join a church that operates like this!!???????
😯 😯 😯 😯 So, it’s time to take matters into my own hands, in the most professional, kind, and option-preserving manner possible. I’ve had it with this!!
I think it’s time to also boycott HP meeting now. Not in a broadcasted way, just to not attend.
Agreed, the letter informing people that they could depend on you without seeking your blessing first was… wrong. I’ll add my “me too” to the thread. Make a lot of noise about this. Respectful noise, but noise nevertheless. I was going to write something about how you’re being treated like an employee, but I realized that you’re being treated worse. There’s no excuse.
SD you said, Quote:I think it’s time to go to my Bishop and tell him my story. One of weariness, not doubt. I am getting fed up with this expectation that I be Hercules with all the high pressure callings & assignments they keep asking me to take, and then call me stubborn when I won’t accept them.
Don’t they get that it’s the experience that past leaders have consistently created over the years that has led me to this position, and that contrary to the promises of past leaders and even the gospel full activity in the LDS church is NOT a source of happiness? I need to also share the impact my church experience has had on my health, which led me to my current way of serving others.
The 20 home teaching families — I’ve adapted to that.
First, I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s not fair. You have every right to be angry. That is always my reaction in situations like this.
My only advice is: before you talk to your Bishop:
– Stay calm.
– Organize what you want to accomplish.
– Organize what you want to say.
– Ask him how he would feel if this happened to him.
It keeps running through my mind: you didn’t make any commitments to your Bishop or anyone else. This is not your problem to accept or solve.
Good luck. Keep us informed. You deserve better.
You are right. That is wrong.
End of story. Period. Full stop.
Talk with your bishop. Tell him your story. Tell him you could never be a bishop. Tell him why you are upset. Tell him you are trying hard to stay actively involved. Tell him this sort of thing has to stop. Tell him about Elder Packer’s statement in the 2012 Worldwide Leadership Training that the Church is meant to serve members, and that the members aren’t meant to serve the Church. Tell him you are doing your best, but that you simply can’t do this.
Stay calm. Stay gentle. Stay respectful. Be firm.
This is wrong.
I would be pretty upset too. I’m pretty sure those letters violate the Household Visibility and Privacy Agreement; if not, your personal information was being very misused. Not to mention, no one should be given 20 families to teach. If resources are stretched that thin, the quorum should focus on giving home teachers to those most in need, and avoid giving assignments of more than 5+. Otherwise, folks will be overwhelmed, and the chances of it getting done (let alone done right) is nil. Kudos to you, SD, for thinking this through.
I’m interested to hear how it goes. Best of luck, Brother.
I clicked not knowing what I might have to agree to NEVER do. Thanks for making it so easy! This is nuts. Either just distance yourself:
Quote:So, it’s time to take matters into my own hands, in the most professional, kind, and option-preserving manner possible. I’ve had it with this!!
Or, if you’re curious, and I know I am, find out what on earth is going on here. (It could even be something organic like a tumor.) Maybe he’s under his own false impression of what his duties are.
dande48 wrote:
I would be pretty upset too. I’m pretty sure those letters violate theHousehold Visibility and Privacy Agreement; if not, your personal information was being very misused. Not to mention, no one should be given 20 families to teach. If resources are stretched that thin, the quorum should focus on giving home teachers to those most in need, and avoid giving assignments of more than 5+. Otherwise, folks will be overwhelmed, and the chances of it getting done (let alone done right) is nil. Kudos to you, SD, for thinking this through.
I’m interested to hear how it goes. Best of luck, Brother.
Here is the agreement:
Quote:
Household Visibility and Privacy AgreementREAD
Print
Last Updated: 31 October 2016 at 13:15
Policy and Principles
Your Personal Information
Note: References to stakes also apply to districts and references to wards also apply to branches.
By opting in, you are agreeing to allow your name and personal contact information from your Church membership record to be used and displayed in your ward and stake online directory listing, in the LDS Tools mobile application, in mapping features showing your personal residence, in calendars about Church events, and in other similar features related to approved Church purposes.
You may also voluntarily include additional personal information in your personal profile on the online directory and in LDS Tools (including your email address, cell phone number, individual or family photos, or other similar information).
According to Church policy, this site and these features will only be accessible to Church members living in your ward or stake, who log on to the directory or features using their LDS Account username and password. By selecting Ward Visibility or Stake Visibility, you have opted in for your entire household and specifically agree and acknowledge that you have the specific informed consent of each member of the household listed in the Church membership records to share their personal information as described herein. Personal contact information is not accessible to the public. After giving your consent by selecting Ward Visibility or Stake Visibility, only Church members in your ward or stake can view it. Your personal information and the personal information included in ward and stake applications are only to be used for approved Church purposes. Local Church leaders will help ensure that such data is not used for personal, political, or commercial purposes. If you become aware that your personal information has been misused in any way, please inform your local Church leaders immediately.We may use third parties to provide services such as hosting, providing security, gathering statistical data, and so forth, but they are contractually required to keep all personal information confidential and not use it for any other purpose. Except as provided above, your personal information is not authorized to be shared with any other third parties. You may opt out of participation in the online directory, mapping, calendaring, and other related features provided for Church members at any time by selecting the appropriate privacy levels in your household profile. Restricting visibility to Private – Leadership Only on an element of your personal information will prevent it from being displayed to other Church members living in your ward or stake. Access to that element will be limited to Church leaders, including your ward quorum and auxiliary leaders. To correct the information included in the directory, you may change or update the personal data in your household profile that can be revised. For other changes to your membership information, contact your ward clerk, and ask him to correct the information on your Church membership record.
I think in this case they’d say that home teaching falls under “approved Church purposes.” To me it’s not about the name and phone number, it’s about creating an expectation for those 20 families. The leaders volunteered SD’s services, something they weren’t in a position to give because they never ran things past SD.
nibbler wrote:
I think in this case they’d say that home teaching falls under “approved Church purposes.”To me it’s not about the name and phone number, it’s about creating an expectation for those 20 families. The leaders volunteered SD’s services, something they weren’t in a position to give because they never ran things past SD.
Yes, but remember — these people live with non-members, and people who are not friendly to the church. They used to call me, these non-member types to tell me to stop letters when I sent them a personal letter each month as HPGL. One called threatening legal action if I didn’t take them off the mailing list. So, in sharing these letters, they are sharing personal information with all members of the household, conceivably.
Further, the policy clearly states that only members WHO LOG IN should have the personal information, AND that the information should only be used for church purposes. In sending my personal information to 20 families without my consent, they have used the information for church purposes, but violated the “who log in” clause. These families did not log in to LDS.org to get my information.
Add to the fact that the Bishopric member who sent me the 18 families (now 20), didn’t even have the courtesy to respond to me when I objected, and there’s another whammy.
Yes, the main issue is lack of respect in not respecting my agency, not the personal information. But anyone whose been in management or leadership knows that legal arguments often have far more persuasion than ethical and moral arguments alone. And even if moral arguments carry weight, backing them up with legal arguments is a powerful combination.
What do others think, have they violated the privacy agreement for members who sign up on LDS.org?
SilentDawning wrote:
What do others think, have they violated the privacy agreement for members who sign up on LDS.org?
Maybe, maybe not. Anybody who has the LDS Tools app has “logged in.” I think this is a red herring. The real issue is assigning you the families then informing them that you are at the beck and call without consulting you.
The whole thing is ridiculous. If I were you I would just toss my hands up in the air and say forget it. And I would be pissed. Really really pissed that they offered your services and gave your personal cell phone number without asking you first. It’s almost like they are forcing home teaching by going around you to go directly to the families and giving them your information.
All I can say is wow.
And thanks – as a current EQP, I can be sure NOT to do this in my quorum!
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