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Did you all see the new website:
http://www.combatingpornography.orghttp://www.combatingpornography.org” class=”bbcode_url”> The last article on the page is about
Hope, Healing and Dealing with Addictions.I was pleasantly surprised to see the church support this statement from the licensed therapist:
Quote:One word of caution here is to maintain balance in life. Reading the scriptures, praying, and going to the temple can help build spiritual strength and bring peace during these troubled times. However, some people devote so much time and energy to these activities that they neglect other areas of their lives. They may believe that the more time they spend doing religious activities, the more likely it is that the Lord will soften the heart of their spouse. Yet all things, even spiritual things, should be “done in wisdom and order” (Mosiah 4:27).
It sounds like they have realized the “pray, read, go to the temple” answer is not a silver bullet to kill all problems.
The article seems to acknowledge the sad fact that spouses or loved ones will have addictions…but it actually focuses on not trying to “fix” that person, but to have hope and faith to work on one self and doesn’t seem to indicate you can do anything to really change or control someone with an addiction if that person doesn’t want to change.
This seems to be a pretty new approach and direction on advice for such things, don’t ya think? What’s your take on this?
I am all for the church trying to be a counter to the pornography that seems to be so pervasive anymore. I do get concerned however that their constant drumbeat does not help as much as they think. It is known that when you tell someone not to think about something that is exactly what they will think about. When you make something forbidden that is what they want. I can not say exactly what the answer is with this problem but I know when I stopped worrying about this issue in my life the attraction subsided almost completely. It was strange how when I decided I could look at porn if I wanted to I no longer wanted to. Not sure that is the answer for everyone but I do think the amount of attention it gets in the church is out of line with the problem. I think it would be more helpful to have websites such as Combating Poverty, or Combating Anxiety and Depression. I think these are greater ills that drag individuals and families down. Of course sex is a great factor in controlling people. If you can control their sexual behavior you can control other aspects of their lives. I am just not sure our obsession with this topic is so good in the long run. Not sure what the middle ground is, but do not like the anxiety the church casues in the lives of it members over sexual issues.
We already have a thread [“What is porn? (Not a troll)”] that is focused on porn itself. There are almost 90 comments in that thread. Let’s keep this post focused on the quote Heber shared:
Quote:One word of caution here is to maintain balance in life. Reading the scriptures, praying, and going to the temple can help build spiritual strength and bring peace during these troubled times. However, some people devote so much time and energy to these activities that they neglect other areas of their lives. They may believe that the more time they spend doing religious activities, the more likely it is that the Lord will soften the heart of their spouse. Yet all things, even spiritual things, should be “done in wisdom and order” (Mosiah 4:27).
I presonally love this quote. I really appreciate a quote that states bluntly that it is possible to be TOO INVOLVED in the Church. I think we here should be doing cartwheels over that quote.
There was a comment over on MM yesterday on this subject that was interesting. One person asked the other if he thought his wife married him of the the church. I had a girlfriend, briefly, about 40 years ago that told me that she didn’t care who she married as long as he could get her to the celestial kingdom. I was pretty much a believer then but still it struck a cord that we wouldn’t be yolked very evenly together and probably not for very long. Focusing that much on something to the exculsion of everything else not only makes you one sided but if married has the chance of making you single or at least isolated. The only real protection against the things that can hurt you spiritually and emotionally is not just the whole armor of God but trying to be a whole person to fit into the whole armor. IMHO GBSmith wrote:The only real protection against the things that can hurt you spiritually and emotionally is not just the whole armor of God but trying to be a whole person to fit into the whole armor. IMHO
GBSmith…That’s a great way to say it.
The thread started with the quote from the new church combatting porn website, but as Ray pointed out…the heart of the comment to me and my point was that whatever the trial we are facing…I find it interesting the church recognizes and is teaching that Read/Pray/and go to church or the temple is not a realistic cure-all.
If you have a problem in your marriage, the bishop can be a resource to get guidance or spiritual direction…but one should consult a professional counselor if you really need some help (more than a shoulder to cry on). Addictions need be addressed with professionals that are trained to counsel and deal with such things…not just pray the “magic” will change a spouse or someone else (in fact that attitude usually drives a wedge in a relationship). Depression or mental illness may require interventions and medication…not just priesthood blessings and pressure for more faith.
When I have read many ex-mo or anti-mo websites and see the frustrations many people went through…this seems to be a very popular topic. They were told or they felt that with more prayer they would be helped … and that just isn’t enough.
We need realistic help for real life problems. I am grateful the church leaders are strong enough to realize that. I hope it is adopted by more of the membership masses and realize things aren’t as simple as “I have faith, therefore your problems are because you don’t.”
Balance in life really is so important. Sometimes the answer is daily exercise, eating healthy, having intimate time with your spouse, having a night out, hiring a maid, saying NO to that extra thing on your plate, spending more time with your children, seeing a medical doctor, learning a new skill, etc, etc.
If we try something for awhile and don’t see the results we want or need then it is time to experiment with something else.
I have seen both attitudes at church. Some who think you shouldn’t be depressed or your kid shouldn’t have ADD if you are doing all the “right” things. Others who understand that it isn’t that simple and some people truly need medication and many people need more than prayer.
just me wrote:Balance in life really is so important.
Sometimes the answer is daily exercise, eating healthy, having intimate time with your spouse, having a night out, hiring a maid, saying NO to that extra thing on your plate, spending more time with your children, seeing a medical doctor, learning a new skill, etc, etc.
If we try something for awhile and don’t see the results we want or need then it is time to experiment with something else.
I have seen both attitudes at church. Some who think you shouldn’t be depressed or your kid shouldn’t have ADD if you are doing all the “right” things. Others who understand that it isn’t that simple and some people truly need medication and many people need more than prayer.
Exactly!! I really like your practical approach. I also think if the church preaches this a little more…you’d have less cognitive dissonance among followers.
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