Home Page Forums Support Doubting my Patriarchal Blessing

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  • #211679
    Anonymous
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    This has been weighing on me for a few weeks now. I don’t know where to begin.

    I’m not going to share much of it in detail because I do not consider my current state of faith final and respect its potential sacredness.

    It’s generic. It follows the same basic structure I would expect any TBM life to follow: get the MP, serve a mission, get sealed, have children in the covenant, live a long life, come in the morning of the first resurrection, etc… Pretty standard stuff. Doesn’t seem to mean much in the end.

    It mentions multiple times that I have the gift of healing- and in rich abundance, no less. I have not have very many opportunities to give blessings of healing. I have not seen anything out of the ordinary occur as a result of blessings of healing. This does not seem to line up with what is promised in my PB.

    OTOH, it also says I have the gift of mercy. That is something I can truly see in my personality. I will help those in need almost without hesitation. I believe the Lord is far more merciful than is taught in broader Mormonism. I am happy to listen to the struggles of others. I try so very hard not to judge and succeed on most topics. (I blame Primary for making it so hard when it comes to modesty)

    One part of my PB in particular (I will not share details on this one) seems extraordinarily unlikely to happen to me, coming from my perspective now. Like, almost impossible. As in, immediately after getting the blessing, I was already moving the goalposts, suggesting that it would perhaps not happen until the next life.

    OTOH, I’m already starting to see another part of it begin to be fulfilled. It basically says I will be very wealthy, and I’m already making way more money than I even hoped for for my first year out of college.

    Wait… I guess I pretty much shared the whole thing, minus one detail which I consider especially sacred. Just shows how vague they are… :-/

    #324334
    Anonymous
    Guest

    It sounds like your PB is way more specific than mine. Mine only has the stuff you listed in your generic paragraph. In fact, shortly after receiving it I went through several years where I hoped that I could somehow receive another PB because mine didn’t really say anything but I was bummed because I knew that I had used my one allotted lifeline.

    But…

    Why would a stranger (the patriarch) be more entitled to receive revelations from god about my life than I myself was entitled to? Is it because I had more faith in his ability to communicate with god than the faith that I had in myself to do the same?

    #324335
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I know people who put a great deal of stock in their PB. I don’t. To me it’s very much like a visit to a psychic. They probably get all the generic stuff pretty much right if only because it can be self fulfilling (eg it says you’re supposed to go on a mission so you do). Like yours Beefster there are things in mine which have not come to pass and at this point in my life are very unlikely to happen. From a very orthodox point of view it would probably be pointed out that this is because I haven’t done my part, but from my point of view I have (and the TBMs don’t know what they’re talking about).

    I have not read mine in several years. My wife reads hers all the time. Mine has some good general advice (eg stay out of debt), some stuff that just “meh” and some stuff that’s apparently horse hockey pucks. Good advice is good advice no matter where it comes from. I can accept that and take the rest with a grain of salt. Sometimes it’s even a little amusing.

    #324336
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Ditto. Mine is so vague there is nothing that I can say “yep, that happened” (other than you are going to get married and have kids). It did say technology would be changing.

    Bill Reel had an interesting podcast on this and his unique situation. His girlfriend was a member and converted him. So they both got their PB about the same time. After they were married they compared them and noticed they were basically the same thing.

    #324337
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I desire very much for my son to receive the priesthood from me. I want him to be included in my priesthood line of authority that includes my father and grandfather. What does it mean for me to put my hands over his head and say some words. It could mean nothing. It could be quite significant. For me it is relationship binding and is significant. My son will have something that will never leave him that the men in his family have passed down to him. A form of birthright.

    A PB can be similar. There are parts of it that I find meaningful. There are parts of it that do not seem to fit me. I tend to skip over those parts.

    Originally the church patriarch gave blessings to those members who did not have a father that was a member of the church. It was the right of the father (as the natural patriarch) to give these blessings to his offspring. I feel that it is important for me to give father’s blessings every year before school starts. It is relationship binding and that is significant to me.

    I also feel that the father’s blessings help to allay fears and bolster courage for the unknown. PB’s also have this benefit. Can it be a Dumbo’s feather? Sometimes, but maybe we all need a little help to take that first step out into the darkness.

    #324338
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I don’t read mine anymore. I have brought it to pass essentially. Did the mission, the wedding, the children. It does tell me to pay tithing and pray regularly, but that was because the patriarch asked me which commandments I have the most trouble with, and I told him those two things. So that doesn’t count 😆 It wasn’t prophetic — it was kind of false prophetic if the guy had to ask.

    When he asked, I should have said “I have a problem with being too orthodox, judgmental and traditional in my thinking, and not open-minded enough. Plus I have a tendency to pay way too much tithing at the expense of basic necessities/; Then he would have counseled me to be more open minded and less orthodox in my thinking. Also not to go nuts with tithing. And now I’d be living the dream as a StayLDSer… 😆 😆 😆

    #324339
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I had one of those patriarchal blessings. There were a number of specifics, none of which came true (for example, I would be given the gift of tounges and learn several new languages while serving my mission). Also, parts about my struggles and challenges, things that I’m good at… From the start, I felt it was completely off. When speaking to my mission president, several bishops, and a stake president, they mostly all told me “you don’t understand it,” and then proceeded to reframe the prophecy until it came true. The alternative I’ve had mentioned, is that it is because of my lack of faith, or sinfulness that it didn’t come true. There is an excellent book I read some time ago, called “When Prophecy Fails”. It covers a study of a small doomsday cult, and what happened when their prophetess’ prophecy on the end of the world did not come true. I think one out of the 30 members left; the rest were even more committed, because it was through their faithfulness the earth was spared. It’s a good read, and I find it applying to just about any religion that believes in prophecy (JWs, Presbyterians, AJ Miller, Jim Jones, and even the LDS Church).

    I also recall a seminar given by Dr. Robert Caldini, when he spoke on his skills as a palm reader (as a side job, he’s a world renouned social psychologist). He first took up the skill during college, and it was a hit at parties. He could literally divinate people’s personality, history, and future by reading the lines on the hand. Then, one day, he decided to toss out all he had learned, and purposefully misinterpret the lines. When the lines said “generous”, he said “selfish”. When the lines said “stubborn”, he said “easy going”. The funny thing is, it still worked perfectly in the eyes of the recipent. Caldini knew things about them, no one else could possibly know!

    He went into more explaination as to why this works, but my main point is this: Prophecy NEVER fails. Never ever. It’s the nature of prophecy; whether you’re LDS, a Wiccan, or a Haruspex. I did have a particularly wise bishop, at one point, who gave me the first solid advice I ever recieved on my PB. He told me his hadn’t come true either. So what did he decide to do? “I wrote my own.” It’s advice I’d give to anyone. Choose your own path. Pick your own destiny.

    #324340
    Anonymous
    Guest

    dande48 wrote:


    He went into more explaination as to why this works, but my main point is this: Prophecy NEVER fails. Never ever. It’s the nature of prophecy; whether you’re LDS, a Wiccan, or a Haruspex.

    To refine this a bit: prophecies from the authorities in your own group never fail. Other groups’ prophecies are subject to standard critique and evaluation.

    Actually, the book you mention – When Prophecy Fails – points out that the Millerite movement mostly disbanded after 3-4 fairly specific prophecies failed. Most people seem to have an incredulity limit that religions and fortune tellers tend to stay below.

    dande48 wrote:


    I did have a particularly wise bishop, at one point, who gave me the first solid advice I ever recieved on my PB. He told me his hadn’t come true either. So what did he decide to do? “I wrote my own.” It’s advice I’d give to anyone. Choose your own path. Pick your own destiny.

    I love this. It’s a great way to deal with answering “he isn’t” to nibbler’s question:

    nibbler wrote:


    Why would a stranger (the patriarch) be more entitled to receive revelations from god about my life than I myself was entitled to?

    Replace “the patriarch” with anyone at all, and “receive revelations from god about my life” with anything in the sphere of religion, and my answer is the same.

    #324341
    Anonymous
    Guest

    According to Mormon theology/practice, I am the patriarch of our home. Can I give a patriarchal blessing?

    #324342
    Anonymous
    Guest

    SilentDawning wrote:


    According to Mormon theology/practice, I am the patriarch of our home. Can I give a patriarchal blessing?

    Yes! You can also record it for posterity. It just will not be retained in the church archives.

    I am fascinated by the practice of Lucy Mack Smith to give blessings to people that would visit her in her old age. She was the widow of the original church patriarch and BY had her sustained as “Mother in Zion” before he and the bulk of the saints departed Nauvoo – Perhaps she fancied herself as church Matriarch. The idea sounds cool to me.

    As for my own PB, I think I was relieved to know that I would someday find “the one” and be successful in convincing her to marry me. Big weight off my shoulders! ;)

    #324343
    Anonymous
    Guest

    SilentDawning wrote:

    It does tell me to pay tithing and pray regularly


    Have you paid tithing? Then you have checked that one off. You just need to pray regularly now.

    If apologists and the essays can play with words, you can too!

    My dad had a very specific item in his and he was TBM to the end and it didn’t come true.

    #324344
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Most of mine has come to pass. Except marriage – who knows?

    #324345
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Roy wrote:


    Originally the church patriarch gave blessings to those members who did not have a father that was a member of the church. It was the right of the father (as the natural patriarch) to give these blessings to his offspring. I feel that it is important for me to give father’s blessings every year before school starts. It is relationship binding and that is significant to me.

    I also feel that the father’s blessings help to allay fears and bolster courage for the unknown. PB’s also have this benefit. Can it be a Dumbo’s feather? Sometimes, but maybe we all need a little help to take that first step out into the darkness.

    😮 I had no idea that patriarchal blessings had these origins..! That sheds an entirely new light on church history, especially when it’s linked with sealings and eternal families – IE spiritual adoption and eternal increase. That is super interesting.

    From what I’ve heard, women used to give blessings of healing. I love your description of having your sons be a line of priesthood in your family. How you described it made me want to be a part of a meaningful tradition as well.

    My PB is mostly generic. I used to agonize over specific phrasing and wording, usually pertaining to the marriage portion. “It says YOUNG man, but how young is young? Now that I’m getting ‘older’ does that mean I have to go for an early 20s guy now? What does it all MEAN??” But I think I put a lot of undue and unhealthy fixation into those outcomes instead of living and learning through reality, and even though I catch my thoughts going back to my PB, I’m a lot more open to many options for my life now.

    However, the patriarch did mention that he hadn’t had something come up before in his blessings, something that did come up in mine. It relates to callings in the church. For the few years I was inactive I was a bit self-righteous about how I knew that part couldn’t happen anymore. Now that I go to church fairly often, I chuckle at my former self and am inquisitive about where my life will go next. Funnily, there is a part that’s always stuck with me – that my life would literally be protected. I never understood that part until earlier this year I made a ridiculously stupid decision that could have resulted in legal action against me, but the other party chose not to engage. If nothing else, that phrase has come to pass in that instance and I will be forever grateful that my life (what future there is/was of it) was protected and passed on unscathed. I have little qualms about the dissonance of believing in that portion and being cautiously curious about the rest of my PB.

    #324346
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I’m wondering if PB will ever go away. They seem to be either so generic as to be meaningless or so specific as to be unlikeley to be fulfilled. Being a skeptic, I am inclined to believe that they are not truly inspired but come from the patriarch. And I don’t think declaring lineage has as much meaning today as it did in the early days of the church. I guess I just don’t really see the point.

    But supplanting a PB with blessings coming from the father – now that could be much more meaningful!

    #324347
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I think the declaration of lineage is mostly symbolic at this point and is probably meaningless if taken literally. It’s just the church fulfilling the Gathering of Israel in a literal sense.

    I’m betting we’re probably all Ephraim. It’s the tribe of the white people. :P

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