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I’m 60 years old and was raised in the Church. I can’t remember ever really looking forward to Church (although I do remember liking Primary and “Mutual” when I was younger). It is getting to the point where I literally dread having Sundays come around. I know it’s important to take the Sacrament and that’s what Sacrament Meeting is really all about. I just wish I could stay long enough to do that and then go home. I believe the Church is true, I have few issues with any of the Church’s core doctrines, and have absolutely no desire whatsoever to leave. I am just bored to tears 90% of the time. I realize that there are enough converts coming in to the Church that the curriculum really needs to be pretty much what it is, but how do other people who have heard the same thing over and over and over again their whole lives deal with it? The sacrament itself aside, I would just love to go downtown (I live in Salt Lake) every week and attend Music and the Spoken Word. I would come away feeling spiritually uplifted and satisfied. I’m not sure there is really a solution for my problem. I guess it’s just that, as the old Aesop’s Fable says, “Misery loves company,” and I’m just curious to see whether or not I’m alone. I feel exactly the same way. Taking the sacrament, I agree, is important. But sitting through those talks puts me to sleep. It is very seldom we have a speaker that fires the imagination and makes me feel like my time was well-spent. I too live in SLC. I like the Music and the spoken Word idea. However, I’d never get my daughter up in time to go. Maybe I’ll just go without her…..
After all, church doesn’t start until 1:00–I could probably do both and get something out of my Sunday.
Well, I actually still really enjoy church. Part could be that I am a stay at home mom and it is really nice to get the adult interaction. Plus I am often inspired there. I participate a lot and that helps me. But, I’m not afraid to pull out my scriptures and find my own passages when the lesson takes a turn that doesn’t resonate with me. I know some here take a book. Honestly, I don’t really see anything wrong with attending only sacrament and going downtown for your spiritual food. I think we also have someone here who goes on 3 hour hikes each Sunday for their spiritual food.
Perhaps you would get more out of church if you found a way to serve while you are there.
Well, Katspur, some of us enjoy taking alternative reading material from other spiritual traditions. Or visiting other denominations occasionally. I believe that the church and you will be most blessed by your doing something to continue your spiritual growth. Boredom is not a good thing, and it certainly doesn’t describe well my spiritual journey of the past 10 years. Which pill will you take, as they sometimes ask around here (and I haven’t seen The Matrix). You get to choose. Safety or growth.
I like church too, although I identify with the problems you mentioned. I think it’s probably just habitual, but still, I enjoy the idea of sojourning with so many fellow travelers on the road of life. When I hear stuff that drives me crazy I just remember that they are on the same life journey that I am. I have no expectations of personal enlightenment, so I’m not disappointed when I’m not – and I have been fortunate to live in a ward where the SM speakers regularly prepare and share wonderful talks. It makes it much easier, but I still take no expectations into each meeting. I go to serve, not to learn, and that has made a HUGE difference for me.
I don’t think you are alone. I think lots of folks are bored at church. I mean, lets face it. Mormon church services are not exactly a parade and lights show. Our music is slow and our SM is relatively quiet (barring the crying and occasionally flying sippy cups). Most of the talks don’t come from seasoned speakers and sometimes lack spiritual stimulation. And I don’t suppose this circumstance is going to change anytime soon. I mean its not like the church is going to start hiring a band….. I struggle when the gospel doctrine lesson is less than enlightening. I remember in our last ward we had THE BEST teacher of all time. My mind was exploding with ideas at the end of the lesson and he made us all laugh while he was stretching us. The NT was coming to life and I was finally grasping the depth of it. I was so excited I wanted to do jump splits……but teaching was his talent and he was given a forum in which to shine. The rest of us I am afraid are given the opportunity instead to grow. And maybe it is possible for all who listen to grow in the process too.
So maybe you should be asking yourself why you aren’t growing anymore.
I hope you can find a way to change up your thought processes while you are at church. Perhaps you could take the problem to the Lord. Do you need to increase your spiritual participation in the meeting? Or maybe do you need the Lord to open your eyes to the cool things He is doing with people in the meeting? Or do you just need to learn to enjoy the reality of what real people look like when they try stuff they are uncomfortable doing and find appreciation or even good natured humor in it.
I don’t know. Just some ideas. Best wishes to you. But, no, you are not alone.
I agree with Poppyseed, You’re not alone. I was at the point where I was really ready to stop going…it just was driving me crazy to go to church and hear the stories people expressed that to me had no value or doctrinal lesson…just stories. I felt like people were just talking because they had a calling or were asked to speak, but just wanted to get things over with, not really put any effort into.
Then I would hear a story like the one about the frog slowly boiling in water…
🙄 and think this is just a waste of time.Then I started getting angry and so every gospel doctrine class I felt obligated to raise my hand and say something to bring the lesson back to teachings of Christ, hoping people would get my hint that we need to talk about something important.
Then I stopped going for a couple weeks and instead spent time outside being close to nature, read through some non-LDS books (not anti- but religious from outside the LDS world). I started feeling spiritual. I started seeing the beauty of things.
Then I had another Sunday at church where the talks really touched me, the lessons hit home…and i started thinking that something inside of me is also influencing my experience in church. Please don’t take this as I’m saying the problem is you. I think the problem you expressed is common to a lot of people, especially in a volunteer organization like the church. But allow yourself to do some different reading that sparks a new light or new angle on the material you already know and will probably hear over and over again at church.
I also started caring less about church and what it was doing for me, and started wanting to develop relationships with people, so I started calling and visiting some youth that I missed…even though I wasn’t in the YM anymore, I still just cared about them. That helped me too.
Today, I sometimes like church more than others, but I don’t make myself go and feel guilty if I don’t. I just try to find peace inside me, and then carry that with me to church when I go.
I’ve gone through periods in my life where I was mostly inactive, for months at a time. One of my sons didn’t even get blessed until he was like 2 years old, and we did it at my parents home (with permission and all that). I guess the only reason I am sharing that is to preface my next statement — I really enjoy going to Church now, and miss it when I don’t. A couple big things come to mind.
1. I feel totally at ease with not going — through lots of practice
2. I enjoy going … but I am not sure how much time I am even paying close attention to exactly what speakers are saying. I am happy to have quiet, contemplative, personal meditative time. The Church is all happening in my head and heart.
3. I *always* carry extra reading material with me, and it usually isn’t even anything Mormon-ish. I have no guilt about quietly enjoying something else if I need to zone out.
4. A lot of my joy comes from watching people. I am watching them experience religion, one that we share, but so different than me. It’s a detached sort of state. So people are really not so frustrating anymore. They are fascinating. I learn a lot about myself spiritually by watching other people attempting it all in their own unique way. I am equally flawed.
Tom Haws wrote:You get to choose. Safety or growth.
Good point. That could be why church is not so fulfilling for me any more. Its time for some growth….figures. I don’t do change very well.
Valoel wrote:I’ve gone through periods in my life where I was mostly inactive, for months at a time. One of my sons didn’t even get blessed until he was like 2 years old, and we did it at my parents home (with permission and all that). I guess the only reason I am sharing that is to preface my next statement — I really enjoy going to Church now, and miss it when I don’t.
A couple big things come to mind.
Thanks for your suggestions, Valoel. I’m going to have to give them some thought.
Quote:1. I feel totally at ease with not going — through lots of practice
This is a good suggestion, although it won’t work for me right now. My husband and I are one year into a two-year calling as part-time missionaries with the Hispanic Initiative. I’m more or less required to be at all three meetings every Sunday, at a small branch across the city from where I live. I think that I probably would be able to find something spiritually uplifting to do instead of attend church, and that would probably help me deal with the guilt to some extent.
Quote:2. I enjoy going … but I am not sure how much time I am even paying close attention to exactly what speakers are saying. I am happy to have quiet, contemplative, personal meditative time. The Church is all happening in my head and heart.
This is an excellent suggestion. I could even do it now, sitting for three hours listening to lessons, etc. in a language I don’t understand and trying so hard to get something out of the time that I come home every week with a headache.
Quote:3. I *always* carry extra reading material with me, and it usually isn’t even anything Mormon-ish. I have no guilt about quietly enjoying something else if I need to zone out.
I couldn’t do this and feel right about it. I can’t help but wonder how I’d feel if I was giving a talk or a lesson and looked out into the congregation or class and saw people reading a novel. I just feel like it’s only respectful to at least pretend to be listening. Hypocritical maybe, but that’s just not a good option for me.
Quote:4. A lot of my joy comes from watching people. I am watching them experience religion, one that we share, but so different than me. It’s a detached sort of state. So people are really not so frustrating anymore. They are fascinating. I learn a lot about myself spiritually by watching other people attempting it all in their own unique way. I am equally flawed.
That reminds me of when I was a child. I was taught, of course, that we’re supposed to think of Jesus during the Sacrament. I had the hardest time doing that. My mind would always wander all over the place. I started wondering one day how many other people actually did as they were told and I decided to see if I could figure it out by looking at them. I’d sit and look over the congregation (the adults especially) to see if I could tell by their facial expressions whether they were thinking about Jesus, about Sunday dinner, about their jobs or about the TV show they’d watched the night before.
Quote:You get to choose. Safety or growth.
Yes. I read once a little poem that has always stuck with me.
Though the universe I ownI possess not a thing,
for I cannot know the unknown
if to the known I cling.
Dear Katzpur, I’m 52 and divorced. I finally decided to just set a huge goal and go for it. I have two divorced families that have gone inactive. Between the two of them we will have 5 children under 6. We have an 11 month old, 14 month old, 2 year old, 4 year old and an almost 6. The goal is to divide and conquer by each taking two children – except for my grandson who counts as 2 because he is so active.
We will all get our exercise for the week and be strengthened physically. As I see it, the core gospel is being taught in Primary, especially nursery. No offense, but the Priesthood brothers can’t sing like the Primary can. I think God is aware of that and now he attends Primary.
Wow, I thought I was the only one. I absolutely dread my three hour block. It is frightfully boring. The same banal discussions, over and over. The same talks over and over. It is generally the worst part of my week. I literally would rather clean the bathroom than go to priesthood meeting. Nice to know I’m not alone. A couple of times a year, there is a truly insightful talk or lesson, but other than that . . . . . I love singing most of the hymns. I love watching the families. I love listening to the organ. I love having my arm around my family for a whole hour!
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