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Hi All, I applied to be an EFY counsellor way back in December and found out a few months ago that I was successful. Since then I have been struggling with my belief in the church. There are bits that I know must be true and other bits where I just can’t see around the logic. Although this may be frowned upon, I am good at hiding my disbeliefs and still carry out my calling as required. I am not sure whether I really should be an EFY counsellor. Although I am good at hiding my problems, is it fair that I go to EFY where these youth are (mostly) very strong and spiritual and I have the possibility of messing it up for them and myself? I worry as I do not always answer questions correctly (I generally just fob people off) and I cannot say prayers in public (not sure if I will be required to do this).
I don’t feel able to talk to my friends in the church as they all think I am really strong and a great example. I really want to stay active in the church I am just finding it more and more difficult every day.
I really don’t know what to do. Any advice would be gratefully received.
P.S. I am a recent convert to the church (just over 9 months).
Go, with a prayer in your heart. Get out of it whatever you can get out of it. Be yourself, but keep your mouth shut about your doubts and questions, generally speaking.
Remember that others almost always appear to be stronger and more spiritual than they really are to those who see them without really knowing them. You can help SO many people by simply loving them, without having to preach to them or get involved in deep doctrinal discussions.
Oh, and welcome!
Welcome to the site! I think the best youth leaders are the ones who love the youth and who learn from the youth rather than trying to indoctrinate or teach the youth what they know. The youth need to learn how to find their own way, not for us to give them step by step instructions – but to listen to them and help them think through their own problems. Congrats. My husband was an EFY counselor. The job is a lot of fun. I know EFY has changed from way back when but there are plenty of kids who need hugs and to feel valued. As to your doubts you do have one easy out and that is your newness to the church. If you are struggling or someone finds it something objectionable you say, just tell them your learning. I wish you tons of fun and a feeling of being on Gods errand. Sounds to me like you might be a really great EFY counselor. Your special perspective might be just what some youth need. You don’t really know what is going on in their heads. I went to EFY a couple times (the local version, back when there were still dinosaurs) and got into trouble. I even had a secret stash of booze. You really never know… Lot’s of people can be wearing “masks.” I was an EFY type of counselor back when they had youth conferences…I think it would be cool to have someone who doesn’t push the party line every step of the way — someone who is spiritual but also realistic in their beliefs. You don’t have to share your doubts….many of us survive every week at Church knowing full well our beliefs are highly divergent compared to the Mormon populace at large. Work on having personal spiritual experiences in the Church about spirituality in general, focus on the things you believe in common with other LDS people, and help the youth be good…be good…be good….there are a ton of reasons to be good beyond obeying the prophet.
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