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wonderasiwander wrote:
…This has been the most painful and frightening thing that I have ever faced…I think the worst part for me is that questioning my belief in the Church has also caused me to question my faith in God and Christ…That has been the worst part. I guess I could live without the Church, but I don’t WANT to live without my God and Christ…
This was one of the hardest things for me as well once I really started to suspect that maybe the LDS Church wasn’t everything that it claims to be. The problem was that I never took most other churches very seriously or considered the possibility that they could ever be equal to or maybe even better in some ways than the LDS Church so it almost seemed like the only realistic options for me were the LDS Church or nothing.
The LDS Church was comforting because it seemed to confirm members’ convictions and the feeling that we know all the answers to questions about why we are here, where we came from, and where we are going after this life. Meanwhile, I didn’t care much for the hard-core atheist answers to these same questions so this (false) dilemma made me want to try to defend the LDS Church at all costs and believe in it even more than I already did due to family ties and peer pressure that would make it inconvenient to be an unbeliever.
However, the more I thought about my doubts the more I started to realize that I didn’t really have any major problems with Christianity or the idea of God in general as much as I did with some of the most questionable aspects of the Bible and a few organized religions (especially Mormonism) that I was somewhat familiar with. Basically, my strongest doubts mostly boiled down to a lack of faith in men and their claims of some direct and reliable connection to God.
Now I don’t have any problem believing in God or an afterlife anymore; I just think that God’s level of interaction with people has been significantly less intrusive and obvious than many people expect or hope for. I understand that some people want proof or undeniable evidence and don’t really want to believe in anything based mostly on faith but that’s their choice because not everyone that starts to question Christianity or the existence of God will arrive at the same conclusion no matter how smart or knowledgeable. For example, some men like C.S. Lewis and Francis Collins put a significant amount of thought into trying to answer some of the same questions that lead many to doubt and ended up believing instead.
kira wrote:. For me, the only thing that really matters in life regardless of what religion I follow is whether or not I increase in loving during this short lifetime. Having explored nearly every religion, I finally came to the conclusion that the LDS Church is the religion that most effectively helps me to overcome my negative, unloving tendencies and enables me to become more like Christ.
That’s a great barometer! Well said.
Quote:I just think that God’s level of interaction with people has been significantly less intrusive and obvious than many people expect or hope for.
I have been thinking a lot like this as well lately. But I still have that desire to want to behave in a Christ-like way, whether God is intervening or not, it is still helpful for me to pursue those qualities in my life to find peace for myself. I dunno.
First of all welcome. You are at the right place. Just maybe the gifts of the mind and spirit you have within you may have brought you here. This site I would say is the best of all the sites I have been to like it. I think you will find that it is mostly positive thoughtful an uplifting to LDS people like yourself. It is also a way to discuss things with members in a manner that is constructive and supportive with little or less of some of the cynicism You may find on some of the other sites. They can be interesting, insightful, even just entertaining but I think you will find this one the best. God bless you on your journey, you are among friends! 
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