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Yesterday during RS announcements, I was busy chatting to the women next to me and only vaguely listening but I thought I heard that our ward is having a “Mark Your Patriarchal Blessing” class in MidWeek-Enrichment Night. I have never been one to attend Enrichment nights, even in TBM days. I only went if it was my calling. But I have never heard of one these classes. Better yet, instructions on how to this are found on Pinterest (also something I don’t do). I still wasn’t sure until it popped up in our email letter. It’s a class. I don’t know where I stand on Patriarchal Blessings now. My is engraved in my heart from years of reading, and yes there are key passages that stand out. I don’t mind the idea of marking them, we mark our scriptures. I am a little weird-ed out by the idea of people bringing theirs, having others look at them, etc. and so forth. For years it was drummed into me that they belong only to you and should only be shared with a small selection of people i.e. spouse, parents. So a group of women sitting around a table doing this smacks against that. And how do you teach that class. Orange will be for your birthright. Blue for your covenants. Added to that I know people who have 2 page blessings, and people who have 2 paragraph blessings. Who is going to lead that conversation should it come up?
I don’t know? It seems a bit unorthodox if you ask me.
Thoughts?
When it’s a little too unorthodox for the heterodox . . . Yeah, not something I would do.
Yeah, it’s weird alright. Like you, I’m not really sure where I stand on PBs but I have serious doubts to the point I haven’t read mine in years. I don’t put much stock in it. (OK, I don’t out any stock in it – it simply is not true and if I told you what’s in it and what is reality you’d agree – and those things didn’t happen when I was TBM.) Nevertheless, in my more orthodox days I was also taught not to share it and I’ll add that my son recently got his and he was told by the patriarch to not share it with anyone except close family. He was specifically told not to share it with his peers. So, the thing you describe does not seem orthodox to me. It seems pointless to me, honestly. Even if you are a full believer, and cherish your PB, what’s the point of marking something that would be so well known? It’s a little like marking the title of the BofM. I mean, you already know what it says and where to find it. I wouldn’t want to be there because of the inevitable “look how awesome my blessing is” issue. I have no problem with people who keep their own PBs as an important element of their spirituality, but it’s just strange to think of PBs as something to bring to a meeting or as something to mark. Also, I notice that PBs have a pretty low profile in my neck of the woods. There’s no fanfare around them. Even the idea of getting them is personal and private here. I think that is a positive approach to them.
If you do go to the Enrichment Night, I suggest taking a fake copy of your baby blessing from when you were an infant, and really play it up.
I don’t think I could help myself from bringing a brown marker for “BS”. I honestly wouldn’t go and I would even tell the leaders I wasn’t going because it weirded me out a bit. I would worry about some attending and leaving feeling like, “my PB was wimpy – so I must be a wimp” and on the flip side, someone else coming out with, “man, my blessing kicked butt – so I must be as awesome as awesome can be!”
I’ve always heard counsel to keep PBs private, or better stated hold them sacred, and the way we hold them sacred is not to be to loose with them. Someone teaching PH one Sunday brought up something or other from their PB that they wanted to share with the class. They were immediately and emphatically shot down by both counselors in the BP. It was a one sided argument that went on for several minutes, the person wanting to share something from their PB remained silent the entire time. My own feelings, no big deal. If the person wants to share something from his PB with the rest of the class that’s their decision.
So yeah, there’s a teaching to keep things private coming from somewhere.
Your class sounds like a completely different scenario though. In my experience the person readily volunteered the info, in your class it sounds like people will be expected to be relatively public with their PBs. Completely different.
That said, are you sure people will be sharing their PBs or will they make a statement about the private nature of PBs up front, remind people that they do not have to share, and it will be more general instruction where everyone only ever looks at their own PB?
I think you’re right BTW, size envy may be an issue. My PB is really short. I try not to have a Napoleon complex about it.
DarkJedi wrote:He was specifically told not to share it with his peers.
:think: Yeah, I imagine people have all kinds of theories behind the reason for that particular counsel. What is a youth to think should they see a high percentage of similar phrases in several of their friends PBs that all came from the same patriarch? That can be a difficult thing to explain and can take some of the wind out of the sails of a PB being something that can help youth feel unique and special.
LookingHard wrote:I would worry about some attending and leaving feeling like, “my PB was wimpy – so I must be a wimp” and on the flip side, someone else coming out with, “man, my blessing kicked butt – so I must be as awesome as awesome can be!”
Good point. That’s probably as good a reason as any for keeping PBs private.
That’s one of the dangers of when we start comparing what we have to what others have. It’s engrained in our nature. Don’t share your PB, the rough equivalent to stitching some figs together to cover up our PB and then apply some “modesty” to make sure it got covered good enough.
nibbler wrote:LookingHard wrote:I would worry about some attending and leaving feeling like, “my PB was wimpy – so I must be a wimp” and on the flip side, someone else coming out with, “man, my blessing kicked butt – so I must be as awesome as awesome can be!”
Good point. That’s probably as good a reason as any for keeping PBs private.
That’s one of the dangers of when we start comparing what we have to what others have. It’s engrained in our nature. Don’t share your PB, the rough equivalent to stitching some figs together to cover up our PB and then apply some “modesty” to make sure it got covered good enough.
Your making me blush😳 I am not going to brag, but let me say my PB is plenty long enough!😯 I remember listening to a mormondiscussion.org podcast where he and his wife to be both got their PB at about the same time. Then they eventually looked at each others blessing and felt a bit like, “these are the same blessing!” Worth a listen.
Hmmm. Have to admit that I hope you go. There could be some interesting conversations, and chances to plant some mom3-type seeds. I wouldn’t go…because I’d be afraid of the “interesting” conversations and not confident that I would plant anything good. nibbler wrote:DarkJedi wrote:He was specifically told not to share it with his peers.
:think: Yeah, I imagine people have all kinds of theories behind the reason for that particular counsel. What is a youth to think should they see a high percentage of similar phrases in several of their friends PBs that all came from the same patriarch? That can be a difficult thing to explain and can take some of the wind out of the sails of a PB being something that can help youth feel unique and special.
That was exactly what was going through my mind when he said it: “You’re just afraid everyone is going to see how similar they are.” I’ll add here that I have known our patriarch for many years and consider him a friend.
I see PB’s as statements of hope and counsel about an individual’s future. It would be more meaningful to me if it came from someone close to me. Perhaps a father or grandfather. I would love to get something like this from my grandmother in the style of the will and testiment of Azeal Smith (Grandfather to JS). As I understand it the function of the church Patriarch was originally to give PB’s only for those that did not have living father in the church.
I would probably go (if I were a woman) just to see what it was all about. I would not bring my own PB.
That is such a weird activity idea. i feel like my PB has guided me to make some really awesome choices in my life that have led to great experiences and sort of an “excuse” to enjoy and take advantage of certain experiences. I don’t know how else I feel about it otherwise; perhaps, for some, it is revelation, while for others it’s just hit and miss. Regardless, I wouldn’t share it with non-family ward members as a “fun activity” like this.
On another note, before my grandfather died, he gave a verbal blessing to each of his attending grandchildren. I was a little kid at the time, so I don’t remember much, but we did record each blessing. That was nice. And it was a very special memory.
There was a super interesting poll result last year about Patriarchal Blessings that surprised me. IIRC, 47% of our readers at Wheat & Tares (many of whom are disaffected or at least heterodox) said their Patriarchal Blessing was very spiritual and personal to them after however long it had been. I found that surprising, but cool, too. Basically, religion does have to make you feel special. If it’s not about you, it’s not enough. DarkJedi wrote:Yeah, it’s weird alright. Like you, I’m not really sure where I stand on PBs but I have serious doubts to the point I haven’t read mine in years. I don’t put much stock in it. (OK, I don’t out any stock in it – it simply is not true and if I told you what’s in it and what is reality you’d agree – and those things didn’t happen when I was TBM.) Nevertheless, in my more orthodox days I was also taught not to share it and I’ll add that my son recently got his and he was told by the patriarch to not share it with anyone except close family. He was specifically told not to share it with his peers. So, the thing you describe does not seem orthodox to me.
I agree with DJ — I remember the patriarch asking me the commandments I had the most trouble with, and I said prayer and tithing. So that is what he said in his blessing as commandments not to neglect. Years later I had forgotten he had ASKED me those things, and as a TBM, felt the whole thing was so miraculously inspired since those were exactly the things I tended to struggle with.
I now remember him asking me those things! I haven’t read mine in a long time as I’m not sure what to make of it. I would much rather God spoke to me directly.
My experience with the patriarchal blessing was similar to SD’s. When I went to the patriarch’s house with my parents, he spent a few minutes asking me questions about my interests and goals and such, then he had me leave the room and he talked with my parents. But he didn’t close the door all the way, so I could hear everything they were talking about. My mother told him that one of my hobbies was playing the piano (the truth was that she had just stuck me in piano lessons and she wanted me to take an interest in it, but I actually hated every minute of it 😆 ). But, during the blessing, the patriarch went on and on about how my ‘musical talents’ on the piano would serve me all my life, on my mission, and I would gather my children around me and we would find joy in singing while I played the piano. Sounds like something you’d see in an old black-and-white film. But, in reality, I stopped playing the piano as soon as I got a job when I was 16, and have absolutely no interest in ever taking it up again. But, nearly half of my PB is about piano and music, because that’s what my mother said my hobby was.But to be fair, I don’t expect a patriarch to be some kind of fortune teller. I think the calling has been given a mystical status in the church. In reality, I think most patriarchs are good men, who are doing their best to try to figure out what God would want them to say to this person. They don’t know many of the people they give the blessings to, so they have to go with whatever information they can get from the individual. Not a role I would ever want to be in. That would be a tough position.
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