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I got ahead in my work last weekend. First time in a year. I had an open expanse of time to do whatever I wanted — which is unusual. I found myself incredibly BORED. Realized I’d achieved all my life’s goals. Children almost grown up, with one at home that essentially wants nothing to do with his Dad. Not in a mean way, just indifferent, being a teenager. Hobbies — done a lot of them, and enjoyed myself. I still like them, but felt uninterested. Tried driving around, but that was boring, as was going to a restaurant. Community service projects — lost interest. They take a lot of discipline and are littered with setbacks all the time. Felt a fatigued on that for now. Church, well, see the post on benefits earlier today…it’s a balancing act for me, and not a source of fulfillment.
The job is going well, but I’ve experienced most of what it has to offer.
Has this ever happened to you — just feel plain bored with life? How do you spruce it up again? What keeps life both physically and spiritually interesting?
Congratulations SD! You have arrived! DW and I channel so much of our energies into raising the kids. It will be interesting to see what occupies our time when they are gone.
Yes, sometimes. I have a teenager at home who we have a good relationship with but he’s so busy we almost never see him. Two daughters in college who are super busy also. Church generally keeps me busy but there are times when the extra time is boring. One thing that I’ve been focusing on recently is physical activity. Not everyone enjoys it (my wife is a great example) but over the past 6 years I’ve become more and more physically fit. I’m in my mid 40s and I’m probably healthier now than I was in my 20s – and it’s fun. Perhaps you can find an activity that challenges you and which you enjoy. I cycle with a local group and have made a bunch of friends that way, and there is always an informal competition on the rides. I did my first triathlon this year, and facing your demons in the open water was a rush and scary as hell. But it can be anything – golf, tennis, running, boxing, hiking, pickleball.
I am wondering if I’m just burned out. @roy — how have I arrived? Not sure of what you mean by that (not in a bad way, just don’t understand it). I have never been bored in my life until this point. Always interesting things to do!
What I mean is that my life right now seems like a marathon to get my children raised and into productive – well rounded adults. You are pretty much at my stated destination and wondering what to do now that your life goals are checked off.
Roy wrote:
What I mean is that my life right now seems like a marathon to get my children raised and into productive – well rounded adults.You are pretty much at my stated destination and wondering what to do now that your life goals are checked off.
Got it, and until recently I was able to pursue a lot of things people can only do in retirement. So, I feel a bit lost. And worn out. I’ve done a lot. Kind of like I’d like to take a year and give myself permission to do absolutely nothing.
Try a completely leftfield hobby, something unlike your others. I have done a few other different things. One year I decided to be a tourist in my own city. Visited all the museums and sights over an extended period of time. Tried to view it like I would if I was visiting somewhere else.
My kids are completely grown with wives & kids of their own. I marvel how fast the time has gone. The exciting thing is to watch my children as husbands & fathers raising children of their own.
They have done a much better job of it than I have.
The issue I never anticipated is having children come to me as adults and asking for help or advice.
For some reason, I never did that with my parents. For that reason it doesn’t get boring.
When I was working, there were times when the workload slowed down & I would easily get bored.
It was moments like that where I could create my own projects or analyze problems in a different way.
I do not like being bored.
SilentDawning wrote:
Kind of like I’d like to take a year and give myself permission to do absolutely nothing.
Why don’t you?
I am “halfway there” myself with three of my five children out of the house (but two remaining). I am pretty busy with my job and my adult children require more of my energy (not necessarily my time) than I anticipated. However, I still find myself with time on my hands and can be bored at times. I hope this doesn’t sound pretentious but I’ve started reading through Shakespeare’s plays and then listening to some YouTube lecturers talk about the play. It’s been a nice way to pass some of my free time. I don’t suggest that this is something for everyone but I find that improving my understanding of culture and (hopefully) my intellect makes me feel that I don’t waste time but is somewhat enjoyable. That said, doing nothing is okay, too. Wandering aimlessly from activity to activity can have be useful in the long run. Gerald wrote:
I am “halfway there” myself with three of my five children out of the house (but two remaining). I am pretty busy with my job and my adult children require more of my energy (not necessarily my time) than I anticipated. However, I still find myself with time on my hands and can be bored at times. I hope this doesn’t sound pretentious but I’ve started reading through Shakespeare’s plays and then listening to some YouTube lecturers talk about the play. It’s been a nice way to pass some of my free time. I don’t suggest that this is something for everyone but I find that improving my understanding of culture and (hopefully) my intellect makes me feel that I don’t waste time but is somewhat enjoyable. That said, doing nothing is okay, too. Wandering aimlessly from activity to activity can have be useful in the long run.
Like the Bible, some parts are better than others. I have been reading the Canterbury Tales in the original language over the course of years. It’s challenging but it’s amazing how earthy it can get sometimes!
The language looks strange, but occasionally you get stuff like this:
Quote:“Right so ther lyvede never man,” he seyde,
“In al this world, that som tyme he ne deyde.
This world nys but a thurghfare ful of wo,
And we been pilgrymes, passynge to and fro.
Deeth is an ende of every worldly soore”
Quote:
Just so there never lived a man,’ he said,‘In all the world but in the end was dead.
This world is but a thoroughfare of woe
And we are pilgrims passing to and fro.
Death is the end of every worldly sore,’”
Maybe not everyone’s thing but a nerdy hobby for me.
dande48 wrote:
SilentDawning wrote:
Kind of like I’d like to take a year and give myself permission to do absolutely nothing.
Why don’t you?
Because I feel that if I stop working something bad will happen – like I lose my job, my resume goes flat, or something like that. It’s an irrational fear, I know. I just finished reading a book called Think Like Sherlock and they make the point that aimless mind wandering can be a precursor to really creative ideas.
I need to give myself permission. One thing I want to do is take 6 mos to 1 year OFF if I get let go from my job. With no job to lose I think it will be easier to do nothing…
SilentDawning wrote:
I need to give myself permission. One thing I want to do is take 6 mos to 1 year OFF if I get let go from my job. With no job to lose I think it will be easier to do nothing…
I wasn’t talking about quitting your job… unless you really hate it. I think it’s good to “keep working”, even if for no other reason than bringing in more money. Money isn’t everything, but there’s a lot of good you can do with it, and it helps keep options open.
Not sure what age you’re at, what job you do, or how close you are to retirement. It might be worth looking for a new job, or downgrading to contract work.
dande48 wrote:
SilentDawning wrote:
I need to give myself permission. One thing I want to do is take 6 mos to 1 year OFF if I get let go from my job. With no job to lose I think it will be easier to do nothing…
I wasn’t talking about quitting your job… unless you really hate it. I think it’s good to “keep working”, even if for no other reason than bringing in more money. Money isn’t everything, but there’s a lot of good you can do with it, and it helps keep options open.
Not sure what age you’re at, what job you do, or how close you are to retirement. It might be worth looking for a new job, or downgrading to contract work.
10 years from retirement, same job for 25 years, recently “promoted” and already it feels routine, value money a lot and want to retire with freedom from family and freedom to do as I please….
Boredom has kind of passed, but I feel this need to NOT push myself like I used to. To say “no” to things and make sure I get my daily dose of FBI and Crime Scene documentaries in every day for now. That’s really opening my eyes about how vulnerable innocent people can be to imprisonment and wrongful conviction, but that’s another story.
Not as interested in service anymore — I always found it hard in the church, but will do it when I have a passion for it — for the time being.
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