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Good idea Ray. 😯 Here is my midnight ramble to the FC study: My faith crisis began as I pursued a greater understanding and testimony of Joseph Smith. Vaughn J. Featherstone visited my mission in the 1990’s and committed us to seek a greater knowledge of Joseph Smith and his life and mission. It took me several years to eventually pursue this course, but eventually I made time for it. Prior to my FC, you would have characterized me as that guy who earnestly and honestly lived my religion and shared and converted people to the gospel before during and after my full-time mission. I have paid tithing on my gross income since the age of accountability. I haven’t missed attending church on a weekly basis, other than an occasional vacation, since I was baptized at 8 years old. I ignorantly picked up a copy of “No Man Knows My History” at Costco one afternoon and was completely enamored by what I learned once I began reading. I began fact checking and trying to defend Joseph Smith against what I felt were anti-Mormon lies at the time. However, the more I read, the more obvious to me it became that Joseph was a severely disturbed individual who could not have been what he claimed. I eventually came to accept that by some way I could not understand, he brought the gospel in its fullness to the earth despite being severely flawed. The BOM saved me many times during my initial periods of doubt, but the nail in the coffin for me is the DNA missing from any indigenous people in the America’s linking them to Hebrew ancestry. The arguments made by apologists for the church just made matters worse for me. Lehi’s and his descendants never existed outside the minds of the creator(s) of the BOM. I can not accept that a loving god would preserve plates for 2000+ years so that we could have a record of a people whose ancestors were in existence only to discover that he switched their DNA to confuse us. If his work and glory is to bring more souls to him, then physical evidence should support the revealed truth, not contradict it.
My FC has unalterably changed the course of my life, left me feeling angry, betrayed, confused, alone and afraid to lose my wife and kids, disappoint my larger family and live life authentically. To put it bluntly, I am pissed off at Joseph Smith and the current leaders, if they can be called that, of the church. They claim they are prophets, seers and revelators and yet they neither prophecy, see nor reveal. At least Joseph Smith pretended to do all three. If the leaders of the church are what they claim, then why don’t they seek revelation like Joseph Smith did to clarify so many of the issues that are before the church today. The name of the organization should be changed to The Corporation of the Entity That Pretends To Be Jesus Christ’s Church. It is appalling to me that the leaders of the church, as educated as they are, either have never researched the information so easily accessible to anyone with an Internet connection and then come to such rational conclusions or they are genuinely OR willfully ignorant of the problems and effectively take no responsibility or action with regard to them. They slough off their responsibility for such matters to “non official” church apologists. It is insulting, infuriating and disgusting to me. It is impossible to respect them in this condition. I have not gone to any priesthood leader with my thoughts, feelings, pains or concerns and don’t think that I will because to do so would jeopardize my ability to be with my family for significant life events that involve the temple and a recommend. I am willfully dishonest in my temple recommend interview and tithing settlement because the church has forced me to do so. There are no more bald face hypocritical questions asked of me than those in the TR interview. Ironically, I do not violate the WOW, LOC, or any other major commandments. I love my ward members and non-member neighbors the same. The truth could have prevented me from a faith crisis.
The more stories people hear, the more open they will be to those who doubt and better equipped to help. HTHB, fwiw, I understand the anger and emotional reaction, but I think you have painted the leadership in the worst possible light – and I think that portrayal is no more accurate than the sanitized portrayals of Joseph Smith that played a major role in your crisis. In other words, I simply would counsel you not to be what you condemn in others. Frankly, I don’t think either extreme is healthy or accurate. They simply are the opposite sides of the same coin.
Old-Timer wrote:HTHB, fwiw, I understand the anger and emotional reaction, but I think you have painted the leadership in the worst possible light – and I think that portrayal is no more accurate than the sanitized portrayals of Joseph Smith that played a major role in your crisis.
In other words, I simply would counsel you not to be what you condemn in others. Frankly, I don’t think either extreme is healthy or accurate. They simply are the opposite sides of the same coin.
Ray,
Thanks for your response. I confess that I was having a particularly difficult time when I wrote that. It may represent stronger less politically correct language than I would normally use, however, it is an accurate representation of my true thoughts, feelings and experience which is what the survey was asking for. I will delete it if you would like me to. I am curious however about you sense that I painted the leaders in the worst possible light. I only described what I experienced and I’m confused about where you find error in any of my conclusions that led to my “painting.” It may help that I have loved revered and followed their counsel for the vast majority of my life believing that they speak the oracles of God as they claim. It may be that I am symbolically coming to Lehi with my bow in hand and asking where I should go to hunt for food. If I’m understanding your intent I should ask Lehi a little more kindly? On the other hand, my perception is that many a Nephi has been kindly asking a Lehi and been told to go starve. Now asking Lehi is an act of courage few feel the fire in the belly to act on or are too afraid to make an approach and simply don’t. Thus, Annonymous Internet surveys get created in order to provide information that may lead Lehi to either answer or change course. See my comment about neither prophesying, seeing or revealing.
Respectfully. HRHB
Quote:I will delete it if you would like me to.
I have no desire for it to be deleted. I just think you ought to consider how extreme it is. That’s all.
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